Raptor Quest [Web Series]

rq“You don’t throw a raptor at someone’s fucking face!”

Bill Whirity and Bill Palmer who directed the pretty good “Broke,” and the great short film “Zombie Island,” now takes another dip with his crew in the world of online series. The pitch? Whirity and his crew are attempting to create a dinosaur movie. They really want to make this movie. And yet have a zero budget. How do you make an epic dinosaur movie without any money? Most of all, how do you create a dinosaur film when you don’t even know what the plot is? Well, that’s the conundrum the crew of “Raptor Quest” are trying to explore.

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Watch Me (2006)

watchm6The recent craze of Asian horror inspired films has been one I’ve not been most accepting of, mostly because half of them aren’t very good to begin with. Some are dramas painted as horror (Dark Water), and some are just remade into horrible films (Pulse), but I’m always willing to watch a horror film inspired by the trend and see if it lands on its feet or falls flat and breaks its neck. “Watch Me” has all the basic elements of an Asian horror film. Creepy ghost, mysterious object inspiring mysterious deaths, and of course a modern medium used as a facilitator.

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Mantis (2005)

mantis_still001The whole perception of society, marriage, and spousal abuse is put under the microscope, as director Foster-Algoo examines the whole picture of man and woman and how many times men can be victims too. Director Brendon Foster-Algoo first sets up the film as Adam is with his children in a stand off, and he’s depicted as a somewhat possessive husband. But throughout the course of the film, we not only learn that abuse is not just a woman’s cross to bear, but he also challenges our thoughts on the sexes, and how we instantly perceive the man as the violent aggressor, and the woman as the submissive persona. The funny thing is many of you won’t realize that you’ve made a snap judgment, and that’s what Foster-Algoo aspires and succeeds with.

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Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)

AtiofHxFJO9RjgJmSqhtG7kqAVcFor a film so set on camp, and only camp, Coscarelli dials the campy atmosphere down to about a four most of the time. He even manages to paint his character who thinks he’s Elvis as a rather dignified person. The entire concept of “Bubba Ho-Tep” is rather original. There’s a soul sucking monster at an old folks home, and to discreetly suck life, and not be noticed, it’s taking the remaining life from the residents there, and no one is drawing much of a stir. But Elvis and the black JFK decide it’s about time to stop this monster before they’re next in the war path of the undead mummy. “Bubba Ho-Tep” is a lot less a horror film, and much more of a film about the horrors of getting old.

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City of Rott (2006)

cor1bDon’t be fooled, its goofy animation isn’t a sign that it’s for kids. This is strictly an adult affair, folks. Imagine “South Park” played with a straight face, imagine Romero’s “Dead” films without a plot, and you’ll get Frank Sudol’s “City of Rott.” An old man is the basic hero for Sudol’s zombie epic in which a new toxin discovered in water creates a citywide epidemic of flesh eating zombies that are rotting from the inside out. Armed with only a walker, which is his best friend, his means of conveyance, and his weapon, he looks around for some new loafers to help his ailing feet, but he can’t stop running into those stupid zombies, and the parasites that leak from the bodies when destroyed.

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The 9/11 Commission Report (2006)

I tried. Lord help me, how I tried. But there are just some people almost incapable of creating quality. Brett Ratner, Uwe Boll, Britney Spears, and Asylum. To their credit “The 9/11 Commission Report” seems like an honest attempt by the company to advance into a more sophisticated state of storytelling and movie making. But for all intents and purposes, it comes off as another truly terrible film in their gallery. At the opening, the disclaimer notifies audiences that all the names have been changed, but the names of the terrorists remain relatively the same.

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Pervert! (2005)

pervert-05Yudis’ film is fun. More fun than it has the right to be. And I suggest “Pervert!” for fans of Troma, horror, comedy, Sam Raimi, porn, Mary Carey, Russ Meyer, big breasts, sex, women, John Waters, big breasts, hot women, big breasts, good taste, and yes, big breasts. Did I enjoy “Pervert!” only on those terms? Yes. And what’s wrong with that? “Pervert!” is a film where you shut off the big brain, and let the little brain do its magic, and I can guarantee any red blooded hetero male, and or lesbian, will utterly enjoy the romps. Not to mention the shameless flaunting of sexy as hell Mary Carey as a trophy wife, Juliette Clarke as a very hot nurse, and Sally Jean as a Cuban antagonist with a wide smile, all of whom suffer the fate of the mysterious monster roaming the desert in search of… well, you’ll discover it for yourself.

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