Kill (2011)

kill01Much as I hate to admit it, “Saw 2” pretty much aced the concept of the strangers waking up in mysterious circumstances scenario that’s become so prevalent in modern horror. Directors Chad Archibald, and Gabriel Carrer don’t even seem to try with “Kill,” which is just another variation on the premise from “Saw 2,” except “Kill” is filled with so much more inconsistencies. Not to mention the cast is filled with terrible actors portraying obnoxious characters that literally do nothing but bicker and argue from the first moment they wake up in a mysterious house.

A group of people wake up in a house that’s been boarded up and barred down. They soon realize they’re being terrorized by a mysterious entity watching them, and proclaims that in order to survive and make it home to their significant others, they have to kill each other. Nope, this isn’t “Battle Royale,” although I’d bet the parallels aren’t a mistake. The surviving member of the group gets to go home. I think. Why are the victims awoken in white clothing? Who knows? What is the relevance of the connection that inevitably rises to the surface in the middle of the terror? I wasn’t sure, and I immediately stopped trying to care. What do the tiki men signify? What’s with all the imagery of knights and medieval drapery? And what are the TV’s even for?

Details and plot devices are brought up and abruptly rendered invalid moments later, and there’s just no plot progression until the final twenty minutes. There are even stunning moments of sheer stupidity, like when one of the characters confirms one of the victims has a pulse, prompting another character to ask “Is he alive?” And you have to enjoy how the characters break free from the house while a character screams “Stop! This is someone’s house!” The production is pretty poor as well, with bad editing, and really dicey direction that never fulfills the intended illusion of claustrophobia and paranoia. One of the most distracting elements of “Kill” that tore me out of the narrative was the bad sound.

I don’t know if the rooms on the sets echoed, or if there was ambient sound dripping in to the movie set, but every piece of dialogue sounds canned. So much so that you could almost swear the movie was dubbed. There’s a lot of really ambiguous plot elements brought up and featured with no real clarification, and truthfully I never cared to ponder what I’d seen. I was just happy it ended. “Kill” is terrible because it feels incomplete, rushed, and incredibly half hearted. Almost as if the directors just made points up as they went along. I’m also assuming the directors thought they’d lay the ground work for a follow up. I don’t think there’s any kind of material available for another droning ninety minutes of pointless violence and a script that’s one note and with zero narrative.

The Karate Kid, Part II (1986)

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There’s something about the follow up to “Karate Kid” that just gets the formula right. It doesn’t feel like a cheap cash grab like “Ghostbusters II,” and acts like an extension of the narrative from the first film like “Aliens.” The original “Karate Kid” was about the underdog Daniel overcoming his bullies through the art and discipline of karate. The writers now turn the coin to Mr. Miyagi to explore his enigmatic origins. It’s a smart move and a very clever turn to add pathos and a really complex sense of humanity to Pat Morita’s iconic character. “The Karate Kid” sequel is Miyagi’s film. We learn a lot about the character in the sequel, prompting sensei and student to feel like two very complete individuals with their own demons to battle.

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The Karate Kid (1984)

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Even as a kid, I was constantly replaying my parents’ VHS copy of “The Karate Kid” and never quite found it to be a masterpiece. Not that it’s a bad movie, in fact “The Karate Kid” is a very good under dog action drama with director Roger Avildsen taming the tale of “Rocky” for a younger more diverse audience. It’s a film for an audience that can identify with the slim Daniel who has to learn how to defend himself, or suffer endless torment by the violent Cobra Kai dojo and their ring leader Johnny.

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Kindergarten Cop (1990)

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Back in the eighties and nineties, Arnold Schwarzenegger was larger than life. With his large build and thick Austrian accent, his rough exterior was contradicted by his sweet personality. This carries over more than successfully in Ivan Reitman’s “Kindergarten Cop,” one of his many efforts to connect with younger audiences. His transformation in to kids film star is nearly seamless, as he’s able to connect with his primarily younger cast surprisingly well, and garners a strong chemistry with just about everyone in the film.

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KnightRiders (1981) [Blu-Ray]

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It’s obscene how underrated “KnightRiders” is. For a Romero movie, it’s such a departure from the norm that his fans are accustomed to, but it’s also very much a George Romero film. Not only does “KnightRider” garner much of the tropes that Romero is fond of, including the biker aesthetic, journeymen characters anti-heroes, commentaries on the monotony of domestic life, and a meshing of various races, but you can also make a great game out of spotting cast members that have been in Romero films, or will eventually be in one. Hey, there’s Joe Pilato! Look! Scott Reiniger! Patricia Tallman!

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King Kong (1933)

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Film icon Faye Wraye plays Ann Darrow, an actress who accompanies an expedition crew to “Skull Island” to discover the god-like giant ape King Kong, a gigantic monstrous animal who is worshipped by tribes that inhabit the island. When Carl Denham seeks to kidnap Kong to bring him to New York to market off of his size and make money, Kong is put on display for all to see. But when he escapes from his restraints and begins wreaking havoc on the city seeking out Ann who he’s fallen in love with.

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Kick-Ass 2 (2013)

Kick-Ass-2-PosterI wasn’t too crazy about the first “Kick Ass.” The attempts to take Mark Millar’s homophobic misogynistic fantasy and tame it for broader audiences failed. And it failed fantastically once it watered down the cynicism and introduced that stupid rocket pack. I never understood the appeal of adapting the comic, either. Since I never really bothered to finish “Kick Ass 2” the mini-series (Millar’s “edginess” gets exhausting after the thirtieth anal sex joke), my frame of reference is nil, so “Kick-Ass 2” is a fairly fresh experience as a sequel to a movie that could have done without one.

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