We could have had Star Wars meets Conan the Barbarian. There’s monsters and machines aplenty in the “He-Man” mythos! There’s villains and demons and mystical storylines in the franchise. Except we’re given He-Man in the Hood! This is a man who comes from a civilization with unusual machines, and magic, and war weapons, and he can’t get over the fact that there’s a place that sells meat on bones for human consumption. There’s literally a scene where Teela, Man at Arms, and He-Man marvel at a bucket of chicken and ribs they found at the local restaurant. This is clearly not what we He-Man fans originally envisioned. Of course, that didn’t stop me from watching it at least a thousand times when I was a child, but “He-Man” deserved a space epic the size of “Star Wars” and instead we get so little of it. I’m not asking much from a franchise built solely around selling toys, but there is a lot of mythological potential for making a He-Man movie.
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May (2002)
May Dove Canady’s upbringing is eerily very similar to Michael Myers. While there isn’t a hint of abuse or neglect in the opening shots that chronicle life as a child in her family house hold, we get the sense that the somewhat grating goal for perfection is the key to May’s abundant madness and psychosis. When we meet May, she’s a fairly normal and meek child who has been inflicted with a lazy eye that gives her poor sight. Though it’s a small imperfection that can be adjusted over time, her mother spends a majority of the time focusing on the imperfection to notice May is a very beautiful young girl. Though she doesn’t entirely experience unusual cruelty for her small affliction, the abundant idealizing of her mother, as well as the fawning over a china doll that is clearly the manifestation of what her mother originally pictures would be May, causes her to grow in to an isolated and mal adjusted young woman.
Mutant League: The Movie (1996)
I always get a laugh from people who pretend to be shocked that someone would dare create an animated series intended to tout merchandise to children. Though the series “Yu Gi Oh” was god awful, many people pretended to be appalled that it existed solely to sell cards. Attention people: this has been common practice as far back as the late sixties. Some of the greatest and most beloved animated TV shows in America were created just to sell or market toys. “Transformers” was nothing but a massive toy commercial, for god sake. The nineties were littered with many attempts to create a marketable toy franchise, and there were as many memorable misses as there were hits.
My Sucky Teen Romance (2012)
Director Emily Hagins gained instant fame in 2006 when she recruited all of her friends and family to direct her first feature horror film. The production and Hagins’ enthusiasm for the genre garnered the attention of film critic Harry Knowles (who cameos as a vampire expert) who took Hagins under his wing helping to fuel her film career. In 2009, Hagins then became the topic of the excellent documentary “Zombie Girl: The Movie,” a light hearted and entertaining look at Hagins relentless efforts to complete her feature length zombie film “Pathogen.” The documentary took festivals by storm and remains one of the more heart felt depictions of filmmaking ever produced. Now that we’ve played catch up, “My Sucky Teen Romance” is director Emily Hagins one step forward in to a much more legitimate career as a film director.
The Most Dangerous Game (1932)
Author Richard Connell’s “The Most Dangerous Game” is my favorite short story of all time. Accidentally spawning a brilliant concept for the perfect action film, author Connnell’s short story about two men matching wits in the jungle is fantastic and action packed. I still remember reading it so many years ago and being blown away by the vivid prose and deep characterization that was set within only fifteen to twenty pages. As with most Hollywood productions in the early 1900’s much of this cinematic adaptation is altered from the story source and sadly not always for the better. One of the most irritating changes to the story is allowing the character Rainesford a damsel in distress. With all due respect to the great Faye Wray (who is absolutely stunning in this picture), as the character Eve offers nothing as a supporting character except emotional bait for Rainesford to cling to while fighting for survival.
The Mask of Zorro (1998)
As a fictional character, Zorro is the original superhero. He inspired Batman, The Shadow, and the like, a masked man with a dark persona who uses his wits and wily cunning to win battles in a world where evil men rule. Zorro is a man whose entire origin resembles Bruce Wayne, The Batman. An aristocrat by day, Don Diego is a playboy who lives in the period era of California who hobnobs with yuppies of his ilk and authorities. By night he’s a masked man with a faithful servant who wields swords and weaponry alike to fight crime and take on bandits and warlords of all kinds.
Maniac Cop 2 (1990)
Matt Cordell is back and it was only a matter of time before he continued to seek pure vengeance on those who wronged him in his past life. Going back to the events of the first film, “Maniac Cop 2” traces its steps from the original film to continue off where Cordell started his journey for revenge against the people who framed and jailed him, leaving him to die at the hands of inmates he’d busted years before. “Maniac Cop 2” is a film intent on not only continuing the narrative but finishing off the loose ends of the original film.