Masters of Horror: Sick Girl

Of all the episodes from the “Masters of Horror” series, this was the one I was really looking forward to because: a) It’s Lucky McKee, how cool a name is that? b) It’s described as “The Fly” with lesbians, and c) It has Misty Mundae in it. Yeah, so what I’m a fan of her. “Playmate of the Apes” (Making out with a pink ape? Priceless) and “Lord of the G-Strings” is quality shit, with some brutally funny performances. “Sick Girl” is a freaky, campy, and utterly clever jab at lesbianism in America, but also a good retread on “The Fly”. I don’t know why, but I assumed “Sick Girl” would be played to a more dramatic effect, but then it’s Lucky McKee, this guy likes to play on odd.

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Mean Girls (2004)

meangirls21Based on the novel which is not a narrative story yet a text book/survival guide, writer Tina Fey really pulls off a feat here. “Mean Girls” is a basic analyses of how women are like animals, which is accurate within the context of the events that unfold for Cady Heron. Directed by Mark Waters, “Mean Girls” centers on Cady Heron, a young girl who moved from Africa with her family and is now introduced in to the high school mainstream, another jungle with students whom act like wildlife, hunting in packs and basically attacking one another. Cady is exposed to the main clique in school, The Plastics. What “Mean Girls” has going for it above all of the other high school comedies is the talent behind it.

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Madhouse (2004)

madhouseagain3 “Madhouse” is less of a bad movie, and more an antecedent, a complete misfire of the potential towards its concept from beginning to end. The plot and its characters are so ripe with possibilities and writers William Butler, and Aaron Strongoni completely sidestep that in exchange for attempted style. Which is a shame because “Madhouse” has all the ingredients for easy bake horror. There’s atmosphere, gruesome imagery, good looking actors, a mental institution, nutty patients, a shady staff, and a killer offing people (two total), but nothing is ever really accomplished here. Director Butler does have a knack for sheer style and atmosphere creating a setting that is both visually appealing and utterly sick. He sometimes pays homage to Barker and Lovecraft–or at least he tries, and sometimes he succeeds and this wasn’t completely difficult to look at.

The nuthouse depicted here looks utopian on the outside, dark on the inside, and the basement is hellish as we’d expect. Who knew they stored supplies beside mental patients? Regardless I liked most of what Butler shows us here, and some of the gags and killings are fun including one death involving electrocution which had me literally cringing in my seat. Butler almost gets it right in the visual department, now if only he could have directed a watchable film. Writers William Butler and Aaron Strongoni are so intent on squeezing all sorts of elements for horror films in that its collapses on to itself becoming an illogical jumbled mess that left us with not only a question mark, but a sheer exclamation point. The climax either means that the production crew ran out of money and just ended it, or had no idea how to end this.

The mental institution, very similar to a modern day Dante’s inferno of a sorts has a slasher, ghosts, mental patients resembling the ghosts from the “Thirteen Ghosts” remake (how sad), dangerous supporting characters, and main characters whom may or may not be dangerous, meanwhile the plot basically runs on fumes. Joshua Leonard (Sounding shockingly similar to Brad Pitt) has zero charisma and plays a bookish and extroverted main character who is interning at a mental hospital and learns the ropes from its staff and a hot nurse named Sara ala Jordan Ladd. Ladd is listless here yet again with no real character traits that make her a likable protagonist whatsoever and serves as a mere love interest, but plays a big role in the climax that would have made a much bigger impact had she been featured more prominently.

There’s something obviously going on at this institution; it’s as subtle as a kick in the head, but with cliché one-liners like  “Buildings are like people; sometimes they remember the things that hurt them”, we’re never given what we’re promised. It’s chestnuts like that that make this terribly derivative dreck. With uneven pacing, the film is often very dull and lifeless, with a story that mostly drags on serving its purpose as padding with so much empty character emphases, and there are even appearances from Lance Henriksen and Natasha Lyonne whom are both properly wasted.
We’re pulled in all sorts of directions on this story that lead us to believe one thing, and then another until we’re not sure what the hell is going on around this place.

“Madhouse” is never as smart as it tries to be, delving in to so many Faust-ian themes that are mostly shallow concepts than deep observations that serve as plot devices. The character Clark constantly talks to a mental patient located in the basement of the institution where the most dangerous and colorful of patients lurk, and he seeks counsel about who or whom may be killing the staff members and he’s never given a very clear answer, and neither are we, and we’re left with the “Prom Night” climax that left so many plot holes and lapses in logic out on the table that were never resolved and it just ends up becoming yet another vapid straight to video that will remain on the half price bin. Jordan Ladd is hot, Joshua Leonard does a great impression of Brad Pitt, two people die, and nothing happens. “Madhouse” is a whole lot of elements and plot devices that ultimately amount to nothing and leave many unanswered questions, but the problem is the movie isn’t good enough for me to want to decipher it’s mysteries.

The Man with the Screaming Brain (2005)

Bruce Campbell attempts yet again to make another movie with his deal of difficulties, and finally had it released. Granted it was released on the “Sci-Fi” Channel, but it still ends up being a pretty entertaining throwback to the fifties with a mix of schlock for much effect to what the topic of the film entails, because–seriously–comedy or drama, would you watch this film with a straight face? This is science fiction comedy, or comedy with a science fiction twist? Because the screenplay never seems to know.

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My Little Eye (2002)

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While the whole people on a reality show having the tables turned concept is recycled by now, “My Little Eye” has managed to master such a concept with a brilliant horror thriller that is just undeniably engrossing from start to finish. From the opening credits, we can already see the director playing games with the audience by filming the entire scroll of the Universal logo and the entire film in general in digital form resembling a web cast. We never once, throughout the entire movie, see a shot filmed with an actual movie camera, yet instead look only through the eyes of the cameras watching this group of people. Essentially, “My Little Eye” borders on the routine; different people brought together, they clash, there are your bumps and creaks, but eventually, as the movie goes on, it becomes increasingly intelligent in its searing undertones and social commentary.

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The Machinist (2004)

bale5“The Machinist” is such an accomplishment, an accomplishment that, big surprise, went almost unnoticed in Hollywood.  It’s utterly refreshing in this day and age to watch a movie so intellectually stimulating, it’s fulfilling to watch a psychological thriller that demands the audience watch, pay attention, follow along, and decipher for themselves without falling in to the usual Hollywood conventions. Brad Anderson instills a lot of atmosphere and slow paced tension here for the audience, creating such a brilliant Lynch-esque labyrinth of a murder mystery.

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Manic (2003)

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“Manic” definitely won’t be for everyone, that’s for sure. There have been a lot of “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” rip-offs for literally decades and this grim version is basically no exception, except it’s not as dynamic in its delivery. It’s more low-key, and conventional in its filming method, but still ends up becoming a damn good movie, and with a cast like Zoey Deschanel and Don Cheadle, it has to be real hard to botch this. Thankfully, director Jordan Melamed doesn’t really screw it up despite its flaws.

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