Captain America [Blu-ray] (1990)

capam1990“He may not be Superman, but he’ll be a living symbol of what this country stands for!”

One thing I found most inexplicable about Albert Pyun’s 1990 “Captain America” adaptation is the curious presence of the cast of “A Christmas Story.” Either, they were in town for a press junket, or Pyun just loves the movie, because they appear throughout the film. Melinda Dillon has a walk on role as Steve Rogers’ mom who gives him a memento to take to the war with him, while Darren McGavin has a supporting role as a corrupt politician working with the Red Skull. What, did Peter Billingsley opt out of playing Bucky? In either case, director Albert Pyun does the best he can with so little, and 1990’s “Captain America” is still a terrible comic book movie, in spite of the nostalgia value it holds. Only real collectors will want to pick up this latest Shout Factory release, as director Pyun really doesn’t know how to construct a great Captain America movie.

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Fantasy Battle Royales We'd Love to See

Every fan has their dream match ups, the heroes or villains from different pop culture sensations that they’d love to see do battle. And we’ve seen them all over the course of many decades. Superman met the Xenomorphs, Batman fought Dracula, GI Joe teamed with Transformers, and did you know Archie battled The Punisher? Yes, that was a dark time where comic companies were out of ideas. Good thing they’re filed with amazing new ideas today–er–never mind. In either case, I, like every other fan boy, has his ideas for fantasy battle royales. And here are ten that I think would be quite incredible.

Whom among these competitors would be your choice for victor among these battles? And what individual or team would you pair in a fight?

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Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012)

Ghost-Rider_SoVIf this sequel had any balls, they’d take the reins of Johnny Blaze and hand the character over to someone talented like Idris Elba. At least then there’d be an interesting angle to this wretched sequel to a painfully mediocre movie that barely anyone remembers. Nicolas Cage once again proves he has no business being in film, reclaiming the role of Johnny Blaze, the balding mid-fifties biker who was cursed as Ghost Rider after making a deal with the devil. In case you didn’t know that, there’s five minutes of bad exposition along with Cage narration explaining the entire mythology of the Rider and what he does in particular, cue terrible animation. Most of the time during the opening animation, Cage sounds like even he doesn’t take this garbage seriously, and spend most of it making light of what is supposed to be a terrifying and mystifying character in the comic book universe.

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The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)

ZwstoaTWhile deep down Sony engineered a reboot of “Spider-Man” in an effort to secure the rights, “The Amazing Spider-Man” uses the opportunity to correct the mistakes made by previous franchise runner Sam Raimi. Where Raimi opted for camp and schlock with his installments, “The Amazing Spider-Man” launches a more dramatic approach. Where Raimi opted for the traditional Spider-Man, Marc Webb constructs a more radical re-thinking of the Spider-Man mythos. And unlike Raimi, director Marc Webb opts to side step the camp flavor as much as humanly possible. This reboot is much more true to the Spider-Man we all know and love, and thankfully it’s a superior film that promises to age better than Sam Raimi’s films.

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Ultimate Spider-Man: Excelsior Entertainment

“Ultimate Spider-Man” the comic, from what I remember, was an edgy, sleek and rather dramatic reboot of the entire Spider-Man universe. And odds are if you’re used to angsty stern Peter Parker from Sam Raimi’s films and the newest cinematic outing with Andrew Garfield, “Ultimate Spider-Man” the TV series might take some getting used to. In fact, “Ultimate Spider-Man” completely side steps most of the angst, drama, and melancholy that comes with the territory of Spider-Man’s world, and grabs a hold of the comedy by the throat and dives in head first.

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The Fantastic Four (1994)

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Say whatever you want about 1994’s guilty pleasure “The Fantastic Four” but I’ll take it any day over the god awful big budget films released in 2005 by director Tim Story. There may not be much of a budget to draw on, but at least there’s Dr. Doom in all of his glory and much of what made the comics so readable back in the early nineties. Plus, while much of it is generally in line with the kid friendly tone of the big budget films, director Oley Sassone opts for a darker tone that works much more than the big budget successors in the next decade.

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X-Men: First Class (2011)

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While I did ultimately enjoy “X-Men: First Class” as a film, I found myself giggling at the very opening. I found myself giggling for the simple fact that we finally are given a biographical detailing of Magneto. You know, the one we were supposed to get with a feature film but never did? I love how the writers manage to sneak in his biography while also chronicling the story of two powerful gentlemen with vastly different ideals. Because at the end of the day, the real story behind “X-Men: First Class” is the brotherhood of ideas, and the views on mankind that separate us in spite of common goals.

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