Aphrodisiac! The Sexual Secret of Marijuana (1971) (DVD)

Dennis Van Zak’s propaganda film is very much on par with “Reefer Madness” and that’s just shocking how much the two parallel toward one another. While “Reefer Madness” was a complete exaggeration of the negative aspects of marijuana use, Dennis Van Zak completely reduces the positive aspects of marijuana use to such an optimistic degree that it’s absolutely comical and cartoonish. Both films are basically intent on conveying a message about the use of cannabis and both films basically evade any and all scientific research in exchange for their agenda toward audiences. The only real difference with “Aphrodisiac!” and “Reefer Madness” is that Van Zak’s film is basically just a short form porn film with testimonials so utterly idiotic it’s worth a good laugh or two. In fact I would recommend audiences be obscenely high while viewing this film.

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Our Fucking Thoughts on Holliston

There seems to be a lot of penis envy when it comes to the success of “The Big Bang Theory.” If you’re not a fan you’re either someone who hates the show outright for being a success, or you’re someone who thinks you can do a better geek show. “Holliston” is the latter part of the aforementioned sentence. “Holliston” is essentially “The Big Bang Theory” but with horror fans instead of fan boys and geeks. It seems Adam Green is one of the many individuals who think they know what the perception of a fan boy is better than the people behind the hit show “The Big Bang Theory,” thus we have this series.

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Subspecies (1991) [Blu-Ray]

Maybe I just wasn’t paying attention but what is the Bloodstone supposed to do, anyway? The entire first film of “Subspecies” revolves around the sacred macguffin called the Bloodstone. Allegedly it’s supposed to drip the blood of the saints but then what? Does that grant the vampire god-like abilities? Isn’t that a bit redundant considering a vampire is already near invincible? Does it allow them to walk during the day? Does it make them holy or something? I could never quite figure out what if anything the bloodstone was for. “Subspecies” in spite of its inherent narrative faults and logic gaps is a time when Full Moon was trying to deliver us quality entertainment.

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The Mask of Zorro (1998)

As a fictional character, Zorro is the original superhero. He inspired Batman, The Shadow, and the like, a masked man with a dark persona who uses his wits and wily cunning to win battles in a world where evil men rule. Zorro is a man whose entire origin resembles Bruce Wayne, The Batman. An aristocrat by day, Don Diego is a playboy who lives in the period era of California who hobnobs with yuppies of his ilk and authorities. By night he’s a masked man with a faithful servant who wields swords and weaponry alike to fight crime and take on bandits and warlords of all kinds.

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Frankenhooker (1990) [Blu-Ray]

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I liken “Frankenhooker” very much to the classic “Re-Animator.” That is if “Re-Animator” were conceived by a mentally deranged chimpanzee. Even as a dark horror comedy “Frankenhooker” is a film that has to be taken with a grain of salt. It’s so monumentally moronic and ridiculous that I couldn’t believe what I was seeing most of the time. Of course going in to a film named “Frankenhooker” you’re not going to get high art, but Frank Henenlotter takes viewer expectations and drags it in to the mud with a shit eating grin. “Frankenhooker” is yet another take on “Frankenstein” with a bit of a Lovecraft twist that really is never as creative as it thinks it is.

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House Party 3 (1994)

house-party-3You can tell that “House Party 3” is pretty much where Kid and Play are on the way out, pop culture wise. It seems while New Line Cinema funded their first two films, they drastically cut the budget for this third entry in to the series. And it shows big time. It looks dated. Even more dated than the first one. The photography is hazy, the camera work is amateur, there is an obscene amount of close ups on character faces, and the comedy is nowhere to be found. There isn’t a single laugh to be had here. And the slapstick escapist tone is all but missing.

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House Party 2 (1991)

house-party2Kid has had a tough road ahead of him. In the original “House Party” we learn his mom died, and when we meet him in the sequel his father has died too. This is obviously to coincide with the death of comedian Robin Harris who played Kid’s father in the original, and it’s sad he couldn’t present us with a funny performance for this sequel. He was hilarious in the original, and a great foil for Kid. This time around Kid is living with Play, now an orphan, and is on his way to college. This is a great addition to Kid’s back story and adds some real emotional anchor to the film, because Kid is now pressured to live up to his dad’s legacy and achieve an education that his dad was so desperate for him to accomplish.

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