Based on Billions of True Stories: The Long, Slow Death of a Twenty-Something

Posted on September 9, 2011 by Felix Vasquez

We’ve known Larry Longstreth for a long time as a person and as a filmmaker. It’s no big surprise that we here at Cinema Crazed are big fans of Longstreth and his work in the fan film and internet arena. Longstreth is one of the finest filmmakers working in independent film today and our friendship with him is no bearing on the man as a filmmaker. We discovered Longstreth years ago when he sent us his screener for a short film about a zombie musical and we were instantly hooked on whatever he sent our way.

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Zookeeper (2011)

Posted on July 13, 2011 by Felix Vasquez

It seems like ever since the death of Chris Farley there almost has to be a slot open for a funny fat man who bumbles and stumbles. Except Farley wasn’t just a fat man, he was much more than obesity. He had actual comic timing and every person since his death to take up the mantle has sine failed to replace him. Take one Kevin James, a man who fails at even holding Farley’s shoes but has sought out to be the current funny fat guy since his introduction in “Everybody Loves Raymond.” And since then he’s failed to hold a candle to the cliché fat guy comedy mold that has garnered him massive success because he is just so utterly one note and uncharismatic.

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Bad Teacher (2011)

Posted on July 9, 2011 by Felix Vasquez

Assholes are just a part of life. They’re there when we wake up and they’re there when we go to sleep, the only consolation we can take in this revelation is that they’ll likely never learn their lessons and will continue being assholes until the day they die. That’s the moral behind “Bad Teacher,” a veritable “Bad Santa” clone that takes a misanthropic bombshell and plants her in the middle of All American suburbia where she’s forced to interact with kids and positive role models on a daily basis when she seeks only to gratify her own base needs and nothing more.

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Bridesmaids (2011)

Posted on July 5, 2011 by Felix Vasquez

It’s quite rare that in today’s movie market you’ll find a film that appeals to the male and female demographic so vehemently, but “Bridesmaids” manages to accomplish being a film for the men and the women simultaneously. And it took an SNL alum to conquer such an impossible feat. Possibly the funniest movie all year, “Bridesmaids” is that coming of age romance dramedy that never takes itself seriously, but knows when its time to act like an adult. And that’s due to Kristen Wiig’s ability to play the most unlikely movie heroine you can imagine.

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Shrunken Heads (1994)

Posted on July 1, 2011 by Felix Vasquez

I remember seeing the preview for “Shrunken Heads” back in 1994 during the end of a double feature from the video store and even then I thought the idea was a weird one. A kids movie about disembodied shrunken heads getting revenge on their murderer is unusual. “Shrunken Heads” is a strange god awful movie, but one that affords itself some nostalgic value so while it is a waste of talent and resources, it’s not totally a waste of time. Whether it’s Danny Elfman’s involvement as the sound track artist, or Meg Foster curiously cross dressed as an Italian mobster with a pomp haircut, every single move to this movie is confusing and often times disorienting.

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Take Me Home Tonight (2011)

Posted on June 3, 2011 by Felix Vasquez

“Take Me Home Tonight” operates on the basis that we still give a squat about the eighties and thanks to the financial failure that was this film in early 2011, it’s great to hear America isn’t budging in their resounding boredom with the decade. This was only further remedied by “MacGruber” and its eighties crapola that touted the same sentiment “Take Me Home Tonight” does. Director Michael Dowse’s film doesn’t so much want to be a coming of age film from the eighties so much as it wants to be an eighties film. It takes every chance to define itself as the decade love letter that it almost convinces itself that it’s a movie ripped from that decade.

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Passion Play (2011)

Posted on June 2, 2011 by Felix Vasquez

Director Mitch Glazer’s film is probably one of the funniest most pretentious art house flicks of the year. It’s one of the stupidest pieces of utter tripe ever conceived by man, an almost satirical look at artsy fartsy that dabbles in to a premise so ridiculous it’s barely competent enough be considered symbolic. Oh Megan Fox is a bird girl named Lily, but she doesn’t want to be a bird girl, but she’s so beautiful! Mickey Rourke wants to restore her beauty by keeping her wings in tact even though she destroys them every night, all the while confronting wandering Indians who come to his rescue, evil old carnies and the like, all of whom are obviously some form of delusions of grandeur by some coked up cowboy played by Rourke who stumbles through the film with a grumble.

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