Deadly Weekend (2013)

deadlyweekend“Deadly Weekend” (AKA “Zellwood”) is one of those very poorly put together horror movies where every aspect of the production is shaky. So much so that you can sense the cast spend more time struggling not to acknowledge the camera than they do trying to get in to character. There’s even a very brief introduction in the beginning involving the owner of an airboat in the film and his daughters. The two tween actors spend their screen time so blatantly trying to stay in the scene without ruining the take, that it’s pretty embarrassing. Sadly, they play key roles in the narrative, mid-way.

“Deadly Weekend” is yet another back woods horror slasher about a group of friends having one last booze and fuck fest before they all move away from one another. Model and former playmate Sara Jean Underwood is pushed front and center for this eighty minute waste of time, for the simple fact that she’s not only the most notable name in the cast, but is pretty damn gorgeous. Director Sutton is wise to feature her in as many skimpy outfits as possible, including a tank top that barely clings to her for most of the movie. Not surprisingly Underwood is not much of an actress, and the movie itself just feels like cobbled together takes all edited to present the illusion of a seamless narrative.

If you’re investing time in “Deadly Weekend” for the sake of ogling Underwood, just look her pictures up online. You’ll save yourself some IQ points. Director Jason Sutton’s film amounts to literally nothing, watching like a lame student horror film where the script was a mere after thought. Instead there’s a ton of gore and torture effects, all of which have zero impact, because we never get to know or like the heroes, and we never get to really fear the villains. The latter of which are so utterly over the top and cartoonish, it’s tough to believe anyone could have a difficult time battling them, let alone four very fit thirty year olds.

The villains are utterly inexplicable and their introductions so random, I had a hard time forcing back laughter most of the time. Sutton fills the movie up with so much filler and padding that you could literally edit the movie to forty minutes and length and probably come out with something a little less embarrassing. From the overlong red herring opening scenes, to the endless rambling dialogue between the characters that bear no relevance to the movie’s resolution, “Deadly Weekend” mainly just seems to want to build up to the blood soaked finale. You can’t really root for four people that camp out near a muddy lake while their busty girlfriends work on their tan during an obviously cloudy afternoon. Production aside, “Deadly Weekend” is really just an empty, ridiculous horror entry that brings nothing to table. The acting is horrific, the script is paper thin, and the ultimate resolution is pitiful.

Scare Zone (A Conjuring Halloween Tale) (2013)

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I wasn’t expecting to like “Scarezone.” I didn’t go in to it wanting to hate it, but I was not looking for anything resembling something watchable, either. In the end, “Scarezone” surprises as a solid horror effort that mixes comedy, horror, and a slasher whodunit in to a charming indie genre installment. It’s also nice to see an indie film take a horror attraction and use it to the advantage of the film to induce suspense and tension. “Scarezone” has its faults, but I’d definitely recommend it for experimental fans that appreciate films like “Popcorn,” and “Scream.”

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Motel Hell (1980): Collector’s Edition [Blu-Ray/DVD]

I’ve seen “Motel Hell” almost five times in the last two years and goodness knows I’ve tried so hard to love it. At risk of getting my horror fan boy card revoked, I sincerely do not like “Motel Hell.” Kevin Connors’ horror comedy is a silly and often dull attempt to ape “Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” I’m one who has often found much of what unfolds in “Motel Hell” absolutely dull and monotonous with the attempts at absurdity kind of forced and tedious. It’s almost like “Eaten Alive” where there’s another effort to catch lightning in a bottle that just doesn’t quite hit its mark. And I’d still rather see Tobe Hooper’s “Eaten Alive” than ever really re-watch “Motel Hell” ever again.

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The Purge (2013)

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It’s a shame that “The Purge” is only sub-par since the concept for it is fantastic. A new society allowing the world to murder, steal and wreak havoc for twelve hours as a means of catharses is a really good concept for a wonderful film. I imagine the scenario for the development of “The Purge” was something similar to “The Player.” A writer comes in pitching a great concept but with absolutely no story to offer the studio. So instead they just tacked on a half assed home remake of “Assault on Precinct 13” with a sanctimonious commentary on free will, and patriotism.

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The Final Terror (1983) [Blu-Ray/DVD]

If anything you have to admire “The Final Terror” for being a slasher survival film that eschews the horny annoying teenagers. In exchange, we have younger adults that also happen to be forest rangers. And yes, they’re horny, too. But you take the good with the bad. Teamed together for some kind of task in the wilderness, they happen to mistakenly trespass in the backyard of a vicious hunter. Said hunter is part Jason Voorhees, and part Yautja sans the science fiction.

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Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

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Joseph Zito’s 1984 treatment of “Friday the 13th” really should have been the final film in the series. While I do love the “Friday the 13th” movie series dearly, there’s a considerable drop off in quality after “The Final Chapter” as you can sense the writers trying to bring Jason back with as little absurdity as possible. “The Final Chapter” is one of the last really excellent horror romps that focus on character dynamic and family, and surely enough it’s still a very strong horror film where Jason Voorhees is an unstoppable killing machine.

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The Prowler (1981)

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You can really see Tom Savini’s fingerprints all over “The Prowler,” as it elicits a lot of gruesome deaths for such a downbeat slasher movie. Much of the effects also echo a lot of the gore we saw in “Dawn of the Dead” including the exploding head moments. That said, “The Prowler” is a surprisingly strong slasher effort that doesn’t hold a lot of doors open for sequels, but manages to be a surprisingly decent and vicious whodunit with a creative and merciless serial killer unleashed on a vacation resort.

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