Director Adam Green’s concept for a throwback to slashers has always been a good idea. In theory. Sadly Dark Sky Films has taken a one note concept for a serviceable slasher film and turned it in to a three film series that really didn’t need anymore than one movie. I’m still not in the thought process that the “Hatchet” films are the second coming of the slasher sub-genre, because while they have their audiences, slasher films are still pretty much just a sub-genre reserved for indie filmmakers at the moment. “Hatchet” has been a consistently repetitive and tedious series that really offers nothing new. Even with the casting of Danielle Harris as a replacement for the original lead, “Hatchet” still manages to be loud, redundant, and lacking in any genuine scares.
Tag Archives: Slasher
Girls Gone Dead (2012)
There is nothing worse than a slasher movie that takes forever to get going. Directors Michael Hoffman Jr. and Aaron T. Wells build a film almost two hours long that takes thirty minutes to really get in motion. I’m not averse to watching hot girls jiggle around and play in pools, but you have to give us something more if you’re not going to directly begin hacking characters to death. “Girls Gone Dead” doesn’t enter in to its actual plot until thirty minutes. The first half hour is nothing but filler and bad exposition. Save for a funny cameo from Linnea Quigley, the first half hour easily could have been cut or truncated for pacing.
Alone in the Dark (1982)
Jack Sholder’s 1982 horror film “Alone in the Dark” suffers from undeserved obscurity; it’s a morbid and utterly mind bending little thriller that taps popular films, but still ends up a truly great little horror flick when all is said and done. “Alone in the Dark” is its own breed of the revenge film mixed with a Monster in the House film, ending with a mish mash of genre tropes audiences will appreciate when the dust has settled. Jack Sholder’s horror film has a surefire unique style of its own with some scenes that are just outright surreal.
My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009)
No one is more exhausted with the torrent of needless remakes than I am, but I was shocked that Patrick Lussier’s treatment of the modern “My Bloody Valentine” is not only clever, but very entertaining. I was never a big fan of the eighties slasher classic, so it was a welcome treat to see Lussier treat the concept with respect, and add his own twist to it. “My Bloody Valentine” acts more as a tribute to the original film with a continuation of the storyline rather than actually try to re-capture the dark comedy of the original. This time around, “My Bloody Valentine” revolves the latter day town of Harmony that lives by the legend of Harry Warden, the psychotic pick axe killer who mutilated many during Valentine’s Day.
Hold Your Breath (2012)
Just think: Someone at the Asylum offices dug through their piles of Chinese food menus and eventually found the script for “Hold Your Breath” (I’m not including the superfluous hashtag) tucked away. And someone read it thinking this would be the perfect theatrical debut for an Asylum movie. In reality, “Hold Your Breath” should just be another Asylum clunker on DVD, but it warrants a theatrical debut by virtue of the fact that it has minor horror starlet Katrina Bowden attached.
Smiley (2012)
Come on. I think there could be a lot more done with the horror medium involving the digital age. “Smiley” takes what could be a wonderful and brilliant premise and just waters it down to create a standard slasher flick. Granted, I adore slasher movies, but this is the kind of derivative, generic, manufactured slasher garbage that never entertains. It’s a dull and unevenly paced horror thriller with a nugget of an original concept that never fully realizes it at all. “Smiley” is often so poorly made, even the fake shock scares are telegraphed seconds in advance and fail to land. It also doesn’t help that the two female protagonists of “Smiley” are so irritating, hearing them talk and interact is equivalent to nails on a chalk board.
Silent Night (2012)
“Don’t put avocado on the burger!”
You just can’t take a movie like “Silent Night” all that seriously. It’s twisted, demented, and weird, and features a small town with a perverted priest, and a slew of gorgeous women sauntering about like it’s just another day. Jaime King is the sheriff, Ellen Wong is her secretary, single moms are attractive, and the slashing Santa spends most of his time murdering good looking women in the most sadistic ways imaginable. It’s a splatter film and an exploitation film first and foremost, so if you’re expecting high art with complex themes about Christmas, you should look elsewhere. Director Steven C. Miller knows exactly what kind of film he’s directing, and he never holds back from delivering the gore and the torture in all of the most convenient forms possible.