From Scream Factory comes two slasher films included in a pack that will test the resolve of even the most loyal slasher movie buffs. “X-Ray” tranquilized me and by the time “Schizoid” was almost done I was desperately trying to keep my eyes open. To their credit, they are a double pack for experimental horror fans, but on their own and without a distraction, they’re two of the most mind numbing slasher films I’ve ever seen.
Tag Archives: Slasher
Hatchet III: Unrated Director's Cut [Blu-ray] (2013)
I’ve warmed up to “Hatchet III” a little bit since I originally saw it. Not a whole lot, but just a tiny bit. Mostly because while Adam Green is still better than what this premise entails, he is actually talented when he decides to be. Like Adam Sandler, he can deliver some true greatness, he just indulges his fan base that asks for more lowbrow entertainment that he makes his bread and butter off of. When most of his fans were mocking Green for directing the PG-13 “Spiral,” I don’t blame the man for sticking to the gore soaked “Hatchet” films to keep his (ugh) “Hatchet Army” by his side.
HazMat (2013)
As a slasher fanatic I really can’t endorse “Hazmat” enough. As a Hispanic male, the almost completely Hispanic cast for “Hazmat” is also another reason why I endorse director Lou Simon’s slasher film. You often see so many slasher films about white kids running back and forth and fighting a slasher, it’s rare that we see a predominantly Hispanic cast facing off against a masked killer.
My Top 5 John Carpenter Films
This year, director John Carpenter and the horror community are celebrating the 35th anniversary of the 1978 horror masterpiece “Halloween.” The immortal slasher film that inspired dozens of rip offs and wannabes, horror fans get their reward this year with a new edition of the film that would help close out the seventies. In honor of Carpenter, and “Halloween,” here are our five favorite John Carpenter directed films.
What are you favorites from Carpenter?
5. In the Mouth of Madness (1995)
One of the most interesting and demented explorations of rabid fandom, “In the Mouth of Madness” takes on a world where a popular author has bred a legion of fans so anxious for his work they’ll murder to get to it. John Carpenter creates the sentient villain Sutter Cane in homage of Stephen King whose based most of his works around Lovecraftian novels that have garnered an immense and violent fan base. When a book agent is sent to a mysterious town to meet Cane, he learns that Cane himself is not just a creator of his world, but most likely lost complete control and now has invented our world. There may be two realities, one of which Cane’s, and it’s the one we see in “In the Mouth of Madness.”
And in essence Cane likely invented himself. Things go from bad to worse when studios decide to begin turning his novels in to movies. Filled with an array of Easter eggs, wonderful in-jokes, subtle meta-jokes that only the keen observer will notice and an array of excellent performances from people like Sam Neill and Jürgen Prochnow, “In the Mouth of Madness” is an excellent meta horror film that builds a world within a world within a world to where we can never be sure if anything on-screen is human or just the cognizant creation of their God also known as the author. Do you read Sutter Cane?
4. Assault on Precinct 13 (1976)
Carpenter’s version of a contemporary Western that doubles as a remake of “Rio Bravo,” the 1976 action thriller is a frantic and relentless roller coaster that is never lets up in its energy. When a man’s young daughter is murdered in the middle of a crime infested neighborhood he strikes down the gang that left her to die. Retreating from them, he ends up at a local precinct about to be closed down, and the shit hits the fan. Caught in the crossfire, literally everyone in the precinct are marked by an endless horde of violent gang members, all of whom want in to the precinct and intend on murdering the civilians as horribly as possible.
Now a few beat cops, a secretary, and a ruthless convict have to fend off against the gang members using their wits, their endurance, and only a few fire arms at hand. It’s a ridiculously exciting and fantastic action picture, that Carpenter could never quite duplicate again. And he tried with “Ghosts of Mars.” Speaking of which, let’s be honest: It’s not that bad a film.
3. Halloween (1978)
Originally known as the Babysitter Murders, “Halloween” is the metaphorical gun that started the marathon of a thousand slasher films that would storm theaters in the eighties in search of the almighty dollar. Carpenter’s film is a slasher masterpiece second only to Bob Clark’s “Black Christmas.” Set years after a baffling murder conducted by a young boy named Michael Myers, his therapist travels to his mental asylum horrified to discover Michael has broken out. Now on the way back to his old town of Haddonfield, he builds an odd obsession with local teen Laurie, and seeks to destroy everything around her.
Viciously murdering her friends, Michael is a merciless and shapeless monster who meets his match with young Laurie on Halloween night. “Halloween” is still a very effective and engrossing slasher thriller that introduces an iconic new monster that would haunt the holiday as long as he lived. Ending on the horrifying breaths of its maniac, “Halloween” is a spooky horror film that makes you proud to be a horror fanatic.
2. John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982)
Initially a flop and critically lambasted, John Carpenter treats his audience with his own version of the short story “Who Goes There?” Considered a remake of Howard Hawk’s “The Thing,” John Carpenter side steps the monster movie and offers up a cerebral and deeply horrifying tale of survival as he creates a faceless, formless, and grotesque alien capable of becoming us. It will do anything to survive, even taking on the perverse and gruesome forms of its victims.
Kurt Russell leads a cast of seasoned veterans as RJ MacReady, a helicopter pilot who save a stray dog after thwarting its owners attempts to murder it. When they take it in, they realize too late that they’ve invited in an alien presence that uses humans as a vessel for safety. Soon begins the fight for survival as RJ struggles to find out who is the Thing. As the crew’s numbers dwindle, the blood soaked fight for dominance balances action, horror, science fiction and dark comedy, all topped off with a brilliant and immortal eerie closing scene. “The Thing” is the remake to end all remakes.
1. They Live (1988)
John Carpenter’s science fiction actioner is a brilliant and still widely relevant alien invasion film that sets its sights on society. The aliens are the yuppies and consumers, while the bad guys are the lower class and working man. The aliens, in an effort to gradually destroy the common man, subliminally program them to consume, reproduce, buy, and watch television. Oblivious to their pre-destined world that’s now under rule of the bug eyed aliens that camouflage as normal humans, the only hope is Nada.
A mysterious drifter seeking work, he ends up the only chance mankind has of re-gaining control as he infiltrates the alien operation thanks to enigmatic black shades that help him see through the alien facade. Roddy Piper is unconventional casting as the film’s hero who is at first a reluctant bystander, and then decides he has to spearhead this take down of this sentient alien society or else life as we know it will continues to be owned by our alien overlords.
Featuring a great supporting performance by Carpenter regular Keith David, “They Live” packs a punch with intellect, humor, social commentary, great action set pieces, and a kick ass hero we can get behind. Piper is at his best under the wing of Carpenter and really goes to town on the alien establishment. “They Live” is a consistent favorite and one of the films that will achieve immortality from Carpenter’s repertoire.
Papercuts (2013)
When I finished “Paper Cuts” I was admittedly baffled. I stared at the screen and wondered what the hell I’d just seen and then wanted more. “Paper Cuts” is that very silly but fun horror short film that has great potential to be feature length, with enough resources, and I’d really like to see this be brought to Troma fame for its ability to just cleverly make a great horror villain out of office equipment.
Fangoria Presents: Inhuman Resources (2013)
Ancient Evil: Scream of the Mummy (1999)
One of the worst things about fiction is bad exposition. It’s pretty clear from the beginning that “Ancient Evil” probably wanted, but couldn’t afford an entire shot of archaeologists discovering the evil mummy of the film, so we have to have an opening shot of a group of doctors discussing the mummy. One doctor even tells the other doctors where they found the mummy. That’s just bad writing. Why would she reiterate what they already know? Clearly, it’s for the audience.

