Well if zombies or robots weren’t the harbingers of the apocalypse then it seems only natural that we’d be invaded by pissed off Christmas trees tired of being decorated, pushed around, and inevitably shredded. Jason Eisener, the director of the faux movie trailer “Hobo with a Shotgun,” returns giving us more of a reason to like what he’s doing and what he’s intending to do with the independent film scene. Not only does the man’s style get sleeker and more stylish with every output, but he also knows how to push all the right buttons with clever fare like “Hobo” down to ridiculous material called “Treevenge.”
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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
The voice work for the transformers is as top notch as ever with Peter Cullen taking to the character with his usual skill as well as Hugo Weaving who is just great as Megatron. Despite my problems with the movie, the massive carnage is quite impressive along with the design of the Transformers themselves who help keep the film afloat at its lowest. Despite not being the worst movie of 2007, there’s no denying that “Transformers” was a clunky mess that had zero direction and almost little appeal beyond the target demographics: 1. People looking for robot smashing and 2. Megan Fox. Both of which were vastly over sold elements with little pay off, come the climax.
Transmorphers: Fall of Man (2009)
Tiny Juggernaut’s special effects are pretty good when compared to other indie productions and though it’s all mostly takes on the Transformers, the robot menaces are pretty sleek and cool to watch as they fuck shit up in civilization. I’m still not sure why we need an attack from a cell phone, but Tiny Juggernaut keeps the special effects standard and old school quite often. And who ever creates the one sheets over at The Asylum, I commend them on their artistic ability. If anything The Asylum is great for providing great cover art for their productions. I also enjoyed some of what director Wheeler brings to the screen. There’s even a really ominous sequence where our hero and heroine realize that the signal these robots have sent out just didn’t get intercepted and comets are falling to the sky with the alien menace in tow. It’s a great scene that is thankfully sold by star Shane Van Dyke’s shocked reaction.
Taken (2008)
Whoa, who knew Liam Neeson was such a hard ass, but then his parental tendency to kick ass and take names when his daughter is kidnapped is never an element that distracts viewers with the believability, mainly because it’s Liam Neeson, a man in his fifties who struts around the film as the hero who is a change of pace from young male models and wrestlers who normally dominating the big screen. Neeson is an antidote to all the barely past puberty action pukes and convinces us that he’ll kill anyone and everyone if you take from him. It’s a true testament that Neeson simply knocks this role out of the park.
Twilight (2008)
Let’s get real here people, up until the last year, not a single person beyond black make up and death metal fandom knew who or what the Twilight series was. I mean at least with Harry Potter I had some sort of preamble leading in to viewing the first four movies, but “Twilight” snuck out nowhere in the cinema scene and was destined to be a hit in spite of the slight obscurity. Just gazing down at a large picture of emo females with black lipstick, black digital cameras, and their own fan club I knew that this cliché, clunky mess of a story would bring in the big bucks. Because regardless of how passionate and antipathetic I or other critics feel, the movie will break the box office because author Stephanie Meyer knows her audience better than we know ourselves, don’t they?
Two Thousand Maniacs! (1964)
When “Two Thousand Maniacs!” arrived into the cult kingdom of the horror geek, Herschell Gordon Lewis’s horror comedy was an all out assault to Southern xenophobia and fanaticism, as well as a look at the vengeful spirit the South possessed if society continued to evolve from an Aryan aristocracy, to a melting pot of multi-racial ethics and politics. I mean, I’m sure there’s a vengeful spirit for almost anything, including pure evil, and Lewis’s horror comedy is a stripped down, low budget over the top horror film about the vicious unforgiving ghosts of the South who wreak havoc on outsiders that have evolved in the new world, punishing them for their decadence, sexuality, and freedom.
Teeth (2007) (DVD)
Director Mitchell Lichenstein’s controversial dark comedy is a strong contender for one of the best of 2008 featuring one of the most twisted comedies I’ve ever seen. Though it’s heavily steeped in the horror genre, writer Lichtenstein doesn’t just pose a concept that’s potentially ridiculous, but he takes it and turns it into a rather surprising and brilliant allegory on sex, and evolution. “Teeth” is the antithesis of every coming of age romance you’ve ever seen with a twist of Tim Burton, and John Waters thrown in for good measure. Dawn is the next step of evolution with her infliction of Vagina Dentata, and she doesn’t even know it. In a town with a radioactive plant always present in the backdrop in every shot of the film, Dawn has taken the next step of evolution for women and doesn’t quite know how to deal with it.