The more people I come across, the more it seems 2006 was an awful year for everyone. But, I saw more movies in 2006 than I’ve seen in a while, so this will be my first time creating a top ten. I’ve yet to see many others so, this is a list of movie I’ve seen. So, here is a list of our top ten movies of 2006:
Tag Archives: Thriller
Masters of Horror: Valerie on the Stairs
Being an aspiring writer, knowing aspiring writers, and being apart of a world filled with aspiring writers, “Valerie on the Stairs” was really an interesting installment that spoke about how ideas and imagination can tend to die with a horrible writer, and on how some ideas can be housed somewhere. In “Valerie on the Stairs,” we visit a home for aspiring writers whose own abode has become the breeding ground for a monster who perhaps may be a figment of imagination taken shape. Garris’ installment is a provoking little humdinger, with slight shades of subtlety, explore the condition of being a writer and the suffering that becomes apart of it. What happens when unfulfilled imagination manifests and rebels violently against its creators?
Cinema Crazed's Worst 10 of 2006…
10. The Lake House
Yet another cheesy marketing ploy. Watch the cardboard cut out and America’s Sweetheart who hasn’t had a hit in years team again to star in one of the stupidest most absurd romance dramas ever made. A man communicates with a woman through a mailbox that can travel two years into the future. Why such a weird number? Who knows. Regardless, the time differences are barely noticable, the entire film is soapy, and the mailbox becomes an irrelevant plot device in the second half as suddenly, these two get the power to change time to fit their romance. Goody. Correction: Crappy.
The Roost (2004)
What are bats? Flying rats who shit on you while flying off. What is “The Roost”? A flying piece of shit. Same difference, don’t you think? Actually, when I finished “The Roost,” I think watching seventy minutes of stock footage with bats would have been much more thrilling than Ti West’s horror indie. I can just imagine the brain storming for this junk with West trying to sell it:
Producer: So, what’s it about?
West: Four people on the road…
Producer: Oh god.
West: Discover an abandoned farm house.
Producer: Oh geez.
West: Will you let me finish?
Producer: Fine.
West: They discover an abandoned farm house, and are attacked by ravenous bats!
Producer: Okay…?
West: And they flutter, and tear your face apart! Gah!
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Pan’s Labyrinth (El Laberinto Del Fauno) (2006)
In a world filled with boy wizards, and dragons, every time I think the fantasy world is dead, there’s always someone who swoops in to reclaim the throne and show us that indeed the fantasy genre is still alive and well. All it needs is much imagination and no derivation. It’s not a hard concept to grasp, and it’s not a hard task to accomplish. Every time I receive an opposing argument on that declaration, two words will come from my lips: “Pan’s Labyrinth.” This would be the part where I’d compare this to fodder like “Legend,” and “Alice in Wonderland,” but Del Toro’s film is one of its own kind. Much like Del Toro’s previous “The Devil’s Backbone,” “Pan’s Labyrinth” is unlike anything you can imagine watching.
Undead (2005)
Small town, hapless folks, average day, and a comet. All of which are the menu for a brutally satirical zombie film known by horror fans as “Undead.” The low budget Aussie production has become renowned among horror fans as one of the better zombie films to come around in years, and they’d be right. Aside from the masterpiece “Shaun of the Dead,” The Spierig Brother’s film manages to be both creepy, and utterly twisted a concept hard to accomplish with zombie fare now an utterly tired genre. What occurs in “Undead” is the typical, yet unpredictable. A bunch of comets crash in a small town, and now all the residents have become brain eating zombies—don’t you hate when that happens? Now, the remaining survivors, a bunch of officers, a model, a pregnant nurse, and a bayou hunter, have to find their way out and figure out how to stop the epidemic.
The Quiet (2005)
The whole concept behind “The Quiet” is that our main character Dot (subtle) is a deaf mute that lives among the upper class after her parents died. Dot is a deaf mute yet she still narrates every twenty minutes. This is not introversion of our main character stuck in a world she doesn’t want to be in, this is just an excuse to give Camilla Belle dialogue even though common sense would entail her character not speaking. It’s explained later that Dot could speak and hear once, but not anymore. Which is no excuse to give her narration. If you want us to believe this girl is now in a world where sound and communication can no longer exist, don’t undermine it with rambling narration.