I was surprised there was even such a thing as a “The Substitute 2” since the first film barely warranted a sequel if at all. Tom Berenger is a fine character actor, but the original film only grants a viewing thanks to some okay action moments. I initially thought the sequel series featured Berenger’s character on various adventures as an undercover mercenary playing a substitute, but thankfully the writers dodge that trap. “The Substitute 2” is a sequel in that it is set in the same universe as Berenger’s character. New character Karl Thomasson, as played by Treat Williams, served in the military alongside Berenger’s character O’Shea, and is helped by the surviving mercenary from the first film. Hey, that’s about all you’re getting.
Tag Archives: TV Movie
“Dirty Dancing” 2017: A Truly Awful Remake in an Increasingly Tired Trend
ABC Television’s remake of “Dirty Dancing” is a god awful and ill conceived version of the eighties classic. I don’t say that as a fan of the original, or an eighties kid, but as someone who just can’t abide a truly awful reworking for a film that didn’t need it. Did we forget “Havana Nights” already? ABC goes for an over two and a half hour remake that is just about as listless and ridiculous as you can imagine. For some reason the writers thought it’d be a good idea to add a story frame for the actual story that ensues between Baby and Johnny.
Then there’s a verbatim remake of the original, a goofy melodrama about Baby coming of age, and a musical that stages a bunch of forgettable tunes. Not to mention a relationship drama about Baby’s parents experiencing a crossroads in their marriage. Lest we forget an interracial romance with Baby’s sister falling in love with an African American singer for the country resort, and the steamy torrid love affair between Johnny and a local middle aged resort guest (as played by Katey Segal).
Stake Land II (2016) [Blu-Ray]
Once called “Stake Lander,” the follow up to the fantastic 2011 apocalyptic vampire film may be just a TV movie, but it’s thankfully a pretty excellent follow up to the original vampire thriller. “Stake Land 2” reunites just about everyone from the original film to extend the mythology of the original film and continue the epic journey of the enigmatic Mister and his young sidekick Martin. Except now, Martin is an experienced apocalyptic hunter who has managed to settle in to a life he loves, even in the midst of the end of the world. Despite Mister venturing out on his own, Martin has established a farm as well as married and had a son.
V: The Final Battle (1984)
This time around “V” embraces its science fiction roots more, allowing for a lot more looks in to the rebellion, and the inclusion of new corners of the visitors’ world and the rebels. Most of all, there’s the introduction of a Visitor/Human hybrid that becomes one of the larger symbols of the war, and is pushed back and forth between the resistance and people that think the visitors can stop the invasion and work with Earth. Months after the humans sent out the beacon for other alien species to help them take down the Visitors, nothing has happened and the humans are still trying to stop the Visitors and their plans. Now the Visitors are building new tactics, which includes armor that can deflect bullets, and a form of torture leader Diana has concocted that allows her to convert humans to the side of Visitors for programming.
V: The Original Miniseries (1983)
It’s been said time and time again that if we don’t learn from history that we’re doomed to repeat it, and “V” is a remarkable miniseries that examines what happens when history repeats itself. Set in a not too distant future, Earth is visited by a massive race of anthropomorphic alien beings that looks very human in nature. Though imposing, the alien race presents itself in a charming and docile manner, and interrupts civilization to settle alongside us. Known as the Visitors, they’re a very uniform mass of beings, all of whom proclaim themselves our friends after arriving in a fleet of large ships one day. By garnering help from various governments and influential people to acquire various chemicals and minerals for their ailing world, they agree to give Earth access to their advanced technology which they promise will cure diseases of all kinds. Soon enough, though they begin to insinuating themselves in to the general populace and before long create an environment of unease and tension among some individuals.
Stan Lee’s Lightspeed (2006)
It’s not that “Lightspeed” is pseudo-superhero junk; it’s that its pseudo-superhero junk that’s so painfully derivative, it’s boring to endure. Its ninety minutes of an origin story of two very uninteresting characters, both of whom are the resident hero and villain of said film, no less. The titular Lightspeed is just downright dull, even when the writers borrow (read: rip off) heavily from the lore of Spider-Man, Fantastic Four, and The Flash. With executive producer Stan Lee, the writers have license to rip off the aforementioned, I assume, but said elements are so poorly implemented that the movie itself is a chore. The derivative material wouldn’t be so bad, even, if Don E. FauntLeroy’s direction wasn’t so lackluster.
Model by Day (1994)
If you ever wonder what comic book fans who grew up the nineties mean when they mention there being slim pickings on television by way of superheroes and fantasy, look no further than “Model By Day.” Penned by Jeph Loeb “Model by Day” was about as good as it got in the realm of live action superheroes. Before she became an X-Man, Famke Jannsen took on the role of the hero known as Lady X for this failed television movie and backdoor pilot. Back in 1994, The Fox Network’s big draw was sleazy soap operas, so they endeavored to make their own superhero show by adapting an indie comic that was a weird mixture of “Models, Inc.” and “Batman.”