Hey, I always thought that if you want to make a comedy that practices surrealism and is abstract, then go hog wild. Just make sure that the comedy is actually funny. Thankfully for the most part, “Seven Stages…” is funny. It’s very funny, in fact. It’s also so off the wall, weird, and out of the ordinary that it might alienate some audiences who go in to it expecting something mainstream and broader. For a debut Vivieno Caldinelli’s “Seven Stages…” is funny and bold, but by the hour mark, the narrative completely falls apart, and I was about ready for the movie to end.
Author Archives: Felix Vasquez
Lionheart (1990): 2 Disc Special Edition [Blu-Ray/DVD]
Whether you know it as “Léon,” or “Lionheart,” or “Wrong Bet,” or “Full Contact,” or “AWOL,” or “Lion,” it’s tough to argue that this is one of Van Damme’s sillier roles. And this is a man who once played twins in an action movie vehicle (“Double Impact” is the best Van Damme movie ever made, I’ll argue that until I’m blue in the face). “Lionheart” is such an odd movie that I fondly remember loving back in 1990, but now in both versions, it’s kind of a weird movie that skips through various sub-genres of action cinema that feel awkward. At one point it even feels kind of like a “Rocky” wannabe.
Wolfman’s Got Nards – A Documentary (2018) [Cinepocalypse 2018]
Andre Gower’s “Wolfman’s Got Nards” is a fantastic, long overdue look at the making of, and legacy of “The Monster Squad,” one of the best horror movies of the eighties and one of my favorite films of all time. Anyone who knows me, knows I love “Monster Squad,” just love it. So “Wolfman’s Got Nards” was ninety minutes of pure bliss celebrating this unique horror comedy. “Wolfman’s Got Nards” is not only a testament to the importance of the video age, but how “The Monster Squad” turned in to a classic underdog tale.
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)
It’s a shame that we’ve reached this milestone, but it warrants noting that “Jurassic World” is the first “Jurassic Park” movie to ever put me to sleep. I’m not saying “Fallen Kingdom” is an awful movie, it’s just that it’s not a very good one. If “Jurassic World” became a Saturday morning cartoon to entertain kids between bowls of cereal and bathroom breaks, “Fallen Kingdom” would be the pilot episode. It’s thin on narrative, but crowded with a ton of half baked, under developed characters, all of whom are so paper thin we barely get to know them, or engage ourselves with them all over again.
Tomb Raider (2018) [Blu-Ray/DVD/Digital]
I’m usually very rough on video game inspired movies because—well—pretty much all of them suck. Save for “Mortal Kombat,” which is kind of fun if you’re in the right mood. After two goofy attempts to adapt the iconic adventure video game series “Tomb Raider” to the big screen, Warner reboots the movie series by—adapting the reboot of the video game from 2013. While I’d be hard pressed to call Roar Uthaug’s cinematic take on Lara Croft a masterpiece, I had a really good time with “Tomb Raider,” and that’s all I wanted in the end.
The Death of Superman (2018)
Based on one of the most iconic and controversial miniseries of all time, “The Death of Superman” is a curious adaptation of the series that suffers from definite pitfalls but comes out in the end as a pretty damn good movie, overall. One of the very few DC animated movies not centered on Batman, “The Death of Superman” is much more centered on the original source material than 2007’s “Superman Doomsday,” and if the final scene is any indication, we’re looking at a pretty length depiction of the story arc from the comic books right down to the Super mullet.
Shorts Round Up of The Week
Most of the time we get such a backlog of short films and feature length indie films that we work hard to take them all on and review them before the year is up. In what we hope will become a new feature, “Shorts Round Up of the Week” is a column where we’ll be reviewing a round up of short films of varying quality. If you’d like to submit your short film for review consideration, submissions are always opened.