I bet Seth McFarlane would love to fancy himself this generation’s Bob Hope, or perhaps even Mel Brooks. With the hollow smile of a car salesman, and the appeal of a commercial pitch man, in reality, McFarlane comes off as just another really desperate fan boy whose love for music, dancing, and comedy doesn’t equate to entertainment. The end result is a movie that holds our hands through every joke, and then holds our hand through the expected reaction. I imagine if McFarlane directed a remake to “Blazing Saddles” eventually someone would point to Sheriff Bart, look at the audience breaking the fourth wall, and mutter “But he’s a black man! And this is the old west!”
Author Archives: Felix Vasquez
Ravenous (1999) [Blu-Ray]
I’m one of the many fools that didn’t give “Ravenous” a chance when it premiered in 1999. In fact I openly avoided it for many years, convinced it was just a splatter film and nothing more. True, while it is a classic cannibal movie and survival film, “Ravenous” is so much more. It’s a layered and very unique satire on America’s consumption of the world, and how that becomes very much a practice for one general who is convinced that consuming his fellow man will give him power to conquer the world and also select who is fit to survive in his world.
The LEGO Movie: Everything is Awesome Edition (2014) (Blu-ray/DVD/UV Digital HD)
If you told me two years ago that one of the best movies of 2014 would be “The Lego Movie,” then I would never have believed you and probably would have scoffed derisively. I’m so smug. That said, “The Lego Movie” surprisingly didn’t just turn out to be a fantastic movie, but one of the best movies of 2014. It’s an animated adventure filled with heart, laugh out loud comedy, and very relevant commentary about individuality, and the inherent magic and beauty behind collecting and creating. First and foremost, though, it’s an excellent animated adventure for all ages.
Massacre Mafia Style (1974) [Blu-Ray/DVD Combo]
One thing you can say about “Massacre Mafia Style,” Duke Mitchell’s shameless attempt to cash in on “The Godfather,” is that it’s never boring. Even when it’s brutally silly it really is also a compelling bit of exploitation that tries desperately to out Godfather “The Godfather.” It does so to the point where the film’s anti-hero bawls about the end of the Italian crime organization and hints at “The Godfather” as a goofy portrayal of the Italian crime legacy in tears. It’s a valiant attempt to set itself apart, but it surely won’t be confused for the aforementioned crime drama any time soon.
Cabin Fever 3: Patient Zero (2014)
Like the former films in the series, “Cabin Fever 3” doesn’t really offer audiences anything but a ton of gore, and vain attempts at gross out humor. Pile on a helping of misogyny, and you have the recipe for yet another piece of trash in the Eli Roth bred gore series. You can sense the producers really stretching this time around for shocks and splatter that can stun viewers, all the while spending a lot of empty filler on characters we really don’t bother to care about, since they’re there just to rot in a gory bloody pool, anyway. Director Andrews presents a better flair for directing than previous director Eli Roth, so that’s a plus, however minor.
All Cheerleaders Die (2013)
Directors Lucky McKee and Chris Siverston backtrack over their 2001 indie horror film “All Cheerleaders Die” and remakes it in to a classic rape revenge horror film where hormonal jocks get their comeuppance. Director McKee and Siverston seem to have a lot of fun with the premise, channeling the likes of “Jawbreaker,” and “Satan’s Cheerleaders” in what is one of the more creative revenge horror films I’ve seen in a while. Maddy is an aspiring journalist who begins following around her friend Alexis during her tryouts for the cheerleading team. As well she learns about Alexis’ views on politics in high school not to mention the twisted social dynamic involved with dating and being a cheerleader.
In the Blood (2014) [Blu-Ray]
Action goddess Gina Carano tries her hand at a “Taken” style action romp, and for the most part, it delivers big time. “In the Blood” is an interesting spin on the formula where Carano plays a heroine that’s vulnerable but never helpless, and she’s willing to do whatever it takes to ensure the safety of her husband. Carano is more than capable on this role, playing a woman that’s spent her entire life learning how to fight thanks to a survivalist father. Surely enough it comes in handy when her one chance at happiness is put in jeopardy.




