Martyrs (2008)

Posted on October 13, 2015 by Felix Vasquez

I think if it weren’t so obsessed with its own self-indulgent pseudo-spiritualism and didn’t stop to tell four different stories simultaneously, “Martyrs” may have been a decent film. It begins as a solid revenge picture, but then devolves in to an absurd campaign in torture and pain. It’s a grueling sadistically boring horror drama with a narrative so convoluted I stopped caring about what was unfolding after the first half hour. “Martyrs” loves to pretend it’s this transcendent statement about our questioning of the afterlife, but in reality it’s just misogynist torture porn painted as art house dribble that will make you feel dirty.

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All Hallows’ Eve 2 (2015)

Posted on October 12, 2015 by Felix Vasquez

I don’t go in to movies wanting to dislike them, which pleases me when a movie manages to surprise me the way “All Hallows’ Eve 2” did. It’s still a mixed bag of horror, but when you get down to it, it’s still a solid anthology film that corrects a lot of the original film’s errors. Plus the mascot is just so much more appealing this time around. I won’t say “All Hallows’ Eve 2” is a masterpiece, but it’s strong enough to recommend to horror fans looking for a good time. Director Jessie Baget recruits a group of really interesting indie filmmakers to lend their shorts for this sequel, and while some of them are mere tricks, others are absolutely wonderful treats.

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Lost After Dark (2014)

Posted on October 12, 2015 by Felix Vasquez

I appreciate the need for filmmakers to evoke the eighties building slasher movies within the confines of the decade, but often time movies can get so lost in paying homage to the culture, it doesn’t focus enough on entertaining. “Lost After Dark” falls victim to this gimmick where we have a movie set in the eighties and based around the eighties aesthetic, and yet fails to re-invent the wheel as a slasher film. While we’re at it, the whole grindhouse flourishes feel woefully superfluous to the film, and never adds anything. That said, “Lost After Dark” isn’t a bad movie, it just never manages to be anything but mediocre.

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Eaters (2011)

Posted on October 11, 2015 by Felix Vasquez

It should serve as no surprise that a zombie movie produced by Uwe Boll is nothing but an empty and utterly tedious experience. I’m not going to proclaim “Eaters” as the worst zombie movie ever made, but it’s definitely one where there’s simply no substance and nothing to take away from it. It’s not too much to ask for a zombie movie where we can empathize with characters, and experience something exciting while also having a good time. “Dead Set” managed to accomplish that well.

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Dead Rising: Watchtower (2015)

Posted on October 11, 2015 by Felix Vasquez

I won’t call “Dead Rising” the most original zombie movie ever made, but you have to give it to Zach Lipovsky. He makes a movie based around a zombie video game, and delivers big time on zombie carnage. Unlike “Resident Evil.” That said, while I wasn’t completely bowled over by the movie adaptation of the hit video game, I did find “Dead Rising” to be a surprisingly solid and entertaining zombie romp in the end. Its supply of guts and grue is hefty and it packs a punch with slick direction and some neat casting here and there. The film mixes dark comedy, horror and science fiction surprisingly well, with some good laughs followed by genuine zombie frights that I just dug from beginning to end.

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Dead Kansas (2015)

Posted on October 11, 2015 by Felix Vasquez

I won’t accuse “Dead Kansas” of being a masterpiece of zombie cinema, but damn it you have to appreciate Aaron Carter’s ambition behind this project. I assume if given a huge budget, Carter would have given us a damn good zombie movie. But since it’s mainly a film on a tight budget, he gives us the best movie he can, and at times “Dead Kansas” has glimmers of a strong zombie film. In between it’s mediocre fodder with shaky performances. But damn, you have to appreciate the inherent ambition here.

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Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet Frankenstein (1999)

Posted on October 10, 2015 by Felix Vasquez

The mythical Doctor Frankenstein spent years perfecting his monster which was tragically chased in to the maniacal doctor’s castle for all eternity. Hoping to escape the hatred from the villagers, the doctor travels to Hollywood in hopes of finding a way to perfect a formula. They accidentally cross paths with Alvin and the Chipmunks who are performing at a theme park very similar to Universal and Disney. While there they accidentally interrupt the Doctor who is performing experiments on his monster.

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