Unnecessary back story, toilet humor, and overlong gags involving gore, yes, this is a sequel to “Hatchet” alright! While “Hatchet” was a serviceable genre installment that consumed time with a smile and didn’t change the genre as many movie critics promised it would, “Hatchet II” is here regardless, and rather than simply follow the formula it purports to adhere to with a throwback to goofy slashers of the eighties, in actuality it spends more time setting up the story in the first twenty minutes than it does get down to the nitty gritty of the sub-genre. Green takes the time out to explain the origin of Victor Crowley yet again for audiences after setting the sequel immediately after the events of the first film where Marybeth escapes the clutches of Crowley and manages to get away with the help of an eccentric fisherman.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Ramona and Beezus (2010)
It’s very rare that modern family films leave me feeling overwhelmed with emotions, but oddly enough this adaptation of the Walden media book managed to accomplish that very task by being a sweet family dramedy that doesn’t talk down to its audience. Sure, it’s whimsical and goofy and occasionally wholesome, but deep down there is a strong undercurrent of sadness and grief present among every character, all of whom are facing change in their lives that may decide who they become in the next few years and beyond. “Ramona and Beezus” is a remarkable dramedy about a small girl named Ramona Quimby a child large heart and an even larger imagination who uses her creativity and individuality to not only disconnect her from her world but cope with the massive and potentially traumatizing life altering changes happening around her.
Diary of a Wimpy Kid (2010)
When all is said and done, you really won’t miss much with “Diary of the Wimpy Kid.” It’s all a fairly forgettable and polarizing comedy that’s strictly targeted to the preteen boys of the audience, all of whom are convinced this is how middle school is and will be like. Unless you’re an absolutely die hard fan of Chloe Moretz or Steve Zahn, you really should not rush to see “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” in spite of the fact that it’s not at all the excruciating experience the trailers would have you believe. There is really some interesting bits and storytelling to be had here with some honest explorations in to these young characters.
Malice in LaLaLand (2010)
Lew Xypher’s porn “Malice in LaLaLand” is a wildly visual and unique porn flick that takes the entire Alice in Wonderland tale to a whole new level. Sure, it’s basically a fuck flick, but it’s also a very original and surreal trip in to the psyche of a young girl named Malice who is locked in an insane asylum and through her sub-conscious manages to travel in to LaLaLand where she confronts unreal monsters, wild creatures, and hot women all of whom inhabit this world. What’s interesting is that this world Malice travels may or may not be in all in her head, and she manages to escape the confines of her asylum with the help of a mysterious rabbit that breaks her free and helps her find the rabbit hole that brings her in to this journey of the mind.
Winter's Bone (2010)
Ree Dolly is smart enough to know not to have sex at her young age and have a child. She is in a world of poverty and goes to school with friends who are barely out of puberty and strapped down with a baby. The tragedy though is with her mother being basically an invalid incapable of caring for herself, Ree is forced to be a mother anyway for her baby brother and sister, both of whom can barely cook let alone fend for themselves. It’s a horrible sick irony that plagues the life of Ree, the oldest of three children who is basically the mother, daughter, and guardian of her household, forced to live day by day and is often so desperate she has to rely on the neighbors to feed her family and give them electricity, but is too proud to ask for a hand out.
Salt (2010)
I’m still trying to decide what about “Salt” annoyed me more, the goofy turn of events in the second half that had me gawking in sheer disbelief, or the insistence by the writers to include an ending that fades to black right in the middle of a big turn of events as if to leave a “To Be Continued” assuring audiences that there will be a sequel. Not only is this trend absolutely obnoxious (I pay to see whole movies, not parts of movies), but if there really is no sequel to “Salt” (god willing), then the entire closing scene is just a pointless wide open door left for us to presume what occurred after the writers decided we’d had enough story for now.
Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)
For the past four films, director Paul WS Anderson has taken what was once a very entertaining horror franchise and turned it in to a series of movies fetishizing his wife and doing nothing more than further his muse-like view on her. We nearly saw her naked in the first movie, she was a bad ass in the second, a goddess in the third movie, and in the fourth we’re given an army of Milla’s, presumably a concept Anderson got his jollies off of. That said “Afterlife” is a movie that continues to drag on this wasted concept and posit the question: Why is Umbrella continuing their research if about ninety-nine percent of the world consumed by hellfire and the walking dead? What do they further have to gain beyond being evil for the sake of being evil?