You’ve heard this story a thousand times but we’re telling it to you again, whether you like it or not. Yes, that’s usually the sign we’re about to stumble on to one of the animated greats of the millennium when even jokingly we’re told that this story has been retreaded a thousand times. But we’re going to hear it anyway. “Gnomeo & Juliet” is a film that is marketed to someone but I’m not sure whom exactly. It’s too obscure for kids to understand, and too sugary sweet for the adult sector to enjoy.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Superman XXX: A Porn Parody (2011)
Able to leap tall booties in a single bound, it’s Superman XXX! As a long time Superman fan since the age of five, I’ve found myself oddly intrigued by what they could do with a Superman related porno movie. Batman and Wonder Woman are easy targets for porn parodies. Batman’s entire shtick is based around black outfits and hanging around young girls and boys in caves, while Wonder Woman’s entire crime fighting routine is based on bondage and wrapping men in rope to get them to do and say what she wants. She’s the original dominatrix. But Superman is a tougher concept mainly because he’s such a boy scout it’s tough to imagine anything with Superman even remotely pornographic.
Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011)
I love how studios assume that just because you stuff a moderately funny man like Ken Jeong in a hip moderately entertaining show like “Community,” you’re destined for comedic greatness. They thought they could work Jeong in for easy laughs in “Vampires Suck!” and they failed. And lo and behold he shows up in the first five minutes of “Big Momma’s” playing–what else–a crazy Asian man who happens to be a disgruntled postal worker. No one in “Big Momma’s” acts like an actual person you’d see on the street. No one would actually chase down and violently tussle with a mailman but hey, Martin Lawrence is grasping at straws in the final film series he really seems to be holding on to for dear life.
How to Train Your Dragon (2010)
Young hero in the making trying to prove himself. A father who doesn’t believe in him. The bond of a young hero and his enemy. And a young anachronistic heroine who helps the hero find himself. We’ve seen it all before and then some, but thankfully with “How to Train your Dragon” is handled the formula so well, it’s almost original and unique. Almost. Dreamworks’ animated action adventure film is your classic boy and dog story, except the boy finds his man’s best friend in his purported enemy, a young dragon who forms a common ground with him in a world where humans and dragons are eternally grappling at war with one another and are told they must do battle.
The Social Network (2010) (Two-Disc Collector's Edition) (DVD)
While reports of David Fincher’s “The Social Network” being a modern “Citizen Kane” have been absolutely outlandish and ridiculous, Fincher’s courtroom drama about wunderkind Mark Zuckerberg is a near masterpiece and one that works as a cultural zeitgeist depicting the beginning of a technological revolution and the end of intimate human communication as we know it. “The Social Network” is one of David Fincher’s most verbose and openly intellectual mainstream films to date, a film about the cultural zeitgeist that is social networking and the social animal that derived such pleasure not only from devising such a complex and magnificent program that would distance each other forever that ironically required close and intimate quarters and contact, but from using this program to scorn the individuals who used their own upper class status to keep themselves differentiated from Zuckerberg.
The King's Speech (2010)
Director Tom Hooper’s British drama about the power of words and the man lacking the stature and power of such abilities in the face of a looming evil with the power of speech is something of a quaint animal. Seemingly sneaking out of nowhere, Hooper’s drama is a film not only about a man stricken with the disability of stammering, but a man finding his power in the face of ultimate powers around him. This is a man of pure impotence, a man whose felt dwarfed by the importance around him. And when he’s finally forced in to the world that demands his capacity to become an individual, now it’s a time where he must show the world that he is someone of immense presence. He is someone demanding of a capable individuality. Even to his wife whose unabashed support is laced with a sense of patronizing tone and dominance over his lack of speech functionality.
Seeking Happily Ever After (2010)
I think it’s misleading to tell people that men don’t think about this sort of relationship issue where they want to find the right person because I’ve met many men who are career motivated but also are committed to finding the right woman. Hell, I am currently a man seeking the right woman while also sticking to my guns as a writer, so it’s disparaging for the directors to proclaim women the all feeling all loving animal looking for the right mate while the men are mainly just selfish individuals focused on their jobs. More so, it’s pretty obvious most of the film is scripted, especially in the interviews where the women always seem to have the right anecdote and the correct story that can lead in to an escapade. Beyond that the directors want to blame everyone but themselves.