I was born around a time where television was beginning to change. Around the time where I was a kid, television was still all about local programming and whatever movies stations could dig up to fill the time slots, so my brother and I spent many days sitting down to watch horror movies that they just will not show anymore on local television. Many kids today have the internet at their fingers and can access whatever they want, but for people like me and people born much earlier, movies were an event, and one you stopped your day to focus on. Horror hosts died with the changing face of television and what with the censorship and corporate stranglehold of American television, all charm and enthusiasm has been lost in a sea of stale programming meant to sap dollars and not entertain.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Kiss of the Dragon (2001)
Like most American audiences, I was introduced to Jet Li in “Lethal Weapon 4” where he stole the show from every cast member in the final film of the franchise as the vicious Wah Sing Ku who engages in a battle with Riggs and Murtaugh at the end of the movie. And like every other American after the movie I sought out Li’s previous works and was pretty much under whelmed. The man’s past works range from mediocre to plain idiotic and America didn’t do much for him with movies like “The One,” “Cradle 2 The Grave,” and “Romeo Must Die” all of which were packed with CGI and hip hop references stifling Li’s potential. When allowed to work on his own terms though, Li pulled off some rather incredible pieces of martial arts cinema, one of which is “Kiss of the Dragon.”
Pixels (2010)
I don’t know, there’s something great about apocalypse movies. Maybe it’s the stripping down of society, the chaos, or maybe just the destruction but I love apocalypse movies. Even more I love movies that show the end of the world with as much creativity as possible. Take “Pixels” a short film that works as a fan service for gamers and for people who will at first scoff at the notion of 8 bit characters taking over the world and suddenly gaze in surprise at the creepy notion of it all. Patrick Jean’s film is much more of an ode to the classic gamer and a visual experiment than a movie with a narrative.
Daylight (1996)
1996’s “Daylight” is pretty much just a nineties version of “The Poseidon Adventure.” There’s an eccentric old couple, a resistant tough guy constantly battling with our hero, a cynical woman who bonds with the hero, an epic disaster that is impossible to rebound from, a moment where our characters have to swim under water to make it to a safe zone hoping to escape inevitable drowning, in the climax we see authorities opening a hatch for our victims to escape through, and like Hackman’s hero, Stallone even screams at god as he fights to live in the climax.
The Final (2010)
Well it seems “After Dark” finally pulled it off. They’ve finally brought aboard a movie in to their film festival that may be their most controversial to date. Watching “The Final” made me cringe and feel utterly disgusted all the way through because it’s such a volatile revenge fantasy that’s all too realistic to be taken as just a simple horror film. If you were old enough to experience the horror that was “Columbine” (I still have the newspaper) and the resulting aftermath, you’ll know that we’ve reached a point in our society where the bullied simply can’t take it anymore. Regardless of the circumstances or the lives they may destroy, sometimes people find little to no options in fixing their bullying problems other than resorting to brute violence. Do I condone it? No way. Is it a reasonable solution? No. But when you’re tormented day in and day out without anyone to properly help you, what little choice do you have?
Bitch Slap (2009)
After watching “Bitch Slap” it’s pretty obvious that the only reason it received half the attention that it did was because of the energetic production and the gorgeous women who star in it. The women are absolutely stunning particularly Julia Voth who is just mind blowingly sexy and pulls off her airhead character Trixie quite well. She can bitch slap me any day of the week. But not really. It has its heart in the right place with homages to the likes of Russ Meyer and Quentin Tarantino but in the center of everything this is really nothing more than a soft core Cinemax porno painted to look like a grindhouse throwback.
Cop Out (2010)
In spite of hating almost everything Kevin Smith has ever done, I’ve always given him the benefit of the doubt because he seems like a cool guy. But at the end of the day being a cool guy doesn’t mean you’re going to make a good movie, and “Cop Out” is proof of that. Being just a goon for hire this time, Smith has released quite possibly his worst movie to date, and the very fact that he’s continued to defend it just astounds me. I mean I’ve heard of directors defending their work, but a lemon is a lemon. “Cop Out” is a movie that had the chips stacked against it from the get go. This is not an original Smith production, and it has some of the worst casting of all time.