That’s the thing I love about teen sex comedies, the sheer fantasy element where in the main character’s environment is filled with busty, skinny, hot girls in every single place imaginable. I mean they practically live in the Amazon for Christ sake. This is a world where even the frumpy best friend who secretly likes our protagonist is very good looking in spite of the makeup artists best efforts to make them look very plain and unattractive (it doesn’t work, Amanda Crews is mind blowing). You never see seventy year olds or obese women walking the halls of the mall our hero Ian works in, so naturally “Sex Drive” was a fun little comedy to sit through, because it honestly doesn’t try to be anything more than a high energy time waster.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
At this time horror fans are so beaten down to a messy shit stain that they really don’t have the strength to complain about remakes of their beloved horror classics anymore. Because whether we like it or not, Platinum Dunes and other horrific money grubbing companies will rehash our favorite titles and nothing is off limits. That preface aside, Neo-Nightmare sets down on basically the same premise except with ten times less the flavor and creativity of Wes Craven’s admittedly dated original. I never liked Platinum Dunes to begin with but “A Nightmare on Elm Street” ends as such a blatant spit in the face of horror fans everywhere it practically begins with a disclaimer reading, “We don’t give a shit about quality, but hey at least we have your money, suckers!” And they fell for it hook line and sinker.
Paris, Not France (2008)
I’m not one who gives a crap about tabloids at all. Occasionally I’ll skim over something by accident or watch something on television where I simply can not avoid it but otherwise I find no value in prying in to the lives of people who claim to have it hard when they really don’t. Take Paris Hilton, a young woman who is one of many people in Hollywood who have claimed their fame for doing absolutely nothing. But hey, she’s a victim too. Or at least that’s what this propaganda infomercial about Paris Hilton tries to convince us of.
Iron Man 2 (2010)
Where in we saw Tony Stark as a modern day Howard Hughes in the first “Iron Man,” a reclusive eccentric bachelor billionaire whose vision produced the iron man suit allowing him to achieve his brilliance and somehow benefit the whole of mankind, we’re now given a different view in to Stark by screenwriter Justin Theroux as Stark is presented as a modern day Oppenheimer whose creation and mind-blowing new discovery is about to become the property of the US government whether he likes it or not and will probably be used as a war weapon.
Scream (1996)
When I first watched “Scream” back in 1996 I thought it was a masterpiece, a horror film filled with endless possibilities. But as I’ve gone on and managed to watch “Scream” again I’ve come to realize that Wes Craven played many people, and (whether I like it or not) the series he followed it with has been successful. “Scream” is just more of the same humdrum slasher fare that we’ve seen a billion times, except it’s served up with the deceit that we’re seeing something wholly original. What with the Ghost Face’s eerie facade and the atmospheric setting, “Scream” definitely has that illusion that what we’re laying our eyes on is something we’ve never seen before. In actuality we have, except Craven and writer Kevin Williamson never quite let on about it. “Scream” is a movie that never knows what it wants to be. Is it a murder mystery posing as a slasher film? Is it a horror comedy? Is it a spoof of slashers? Is it a loving satire? If it pretends to be an anti-slasher then why does it jump head first in to cliché slasher trappings in the final half of the film?
Mirrors (2008)
I don’t know what exactly was going on with the production in Alexandre Aja’s remake of the 2003 Asian horror film “Geoul sokeuro,” but as it stands, this remake is probably one of the most inadvertently comical horror films of the last five years. The marketing campaign for this film promised one of the most insane genre outings we’ve ever seen, and I knew I was in trouble when I began to chuckle at Kiefer Sutherland screeching at the sight of his deformed doppleganger in his bathroom window. Everything about “Mirrors” has the potential to turn in to a bonafide horror masterpiece, and instead we’re given nothing but fake scares, clunky dialogue, and writing that is just atrocious.
John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982)
John Carpenter is a son of a bitch. Why? Well, in this climate of modern movie making, remakes are all the rage. It’s the go to source for marketing on a well known product to ensure a quick profit at the box office for general audiences who just want to go to the movies to see a well known story. And when people try to argue against this craze, those who are in favor of remakes always win the argument by muttering four words: John Carpenter’s The Thing. The declaration of these four words automatically shuts everyone up and renders any debate against remakes completely void and irrelevant. What makes this movie so unique that it defeats any arguments against remakes?