There’s that saying that if you marry someone, you’re not only marrying them, but you’re also marrying their family and their friends. The same could be said for Gloria who is in for an utter journey of discovery when she meets George. One day at a city gallery, she and George meet and instantly the sparks fly, and they quickly fall head over heels in love. Only ten minutes into the film does the film start up, and for other films, that would be incredibly rushed, but thankfully, it doesn’t. Because the romance is not the story. It’s really only a catalyst for what we’re about to see.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Jarhead (2005)
Most of Anthony Swafford’s war time spent was on a war that never happened. Swafford recollects in an issue of Entertainment Weekly, that most of the time spent in the military was his superiors yelling fire in a crowded auditorium, spending time training, and bulking up, and training for nothing. “Jarhead” is one of the closest modern depictions of Don Quixote we can ever really see. A film about warriors training for a war that would never come, facing an enemy that may not have been there to begin with. But, Swafford’s story is depicted through a memoir that can be dictated through different eyes. For some it’s an anti-war message, for others it’s just a non-biased portrait of a man who never went to war despite being in the military during war time.
The Halfway House (2004)
Eddie: Who’s my sweet baby bitch?
Cherry Pie: I am.
Eddie: That’s right.
In the mood for a lesbian horror thriller? Well, who isn’t? And “The Halfway House” will surely cure what ails you. It’s a movie that is so awful, it’s actually quite entertaining, and “The Halfway House” rises to occasion in terms of garbage, but throughout the entire run time, I did enjoy some of it. About thirty percent of it, which would account for the generous rating. It’s cheesy and exploitative, but it’s also pretty fun, especially when the “screenwriter” rips lines from other films (in the climax, the heroine spouts “Smile, you son of a bitch” before killing the monster).
King Kong (2005)
Peter Jackson takes “King Kong” a timeless classic from 1933 and remakes it bigger, larger, and louder. And he’s very faithful to the original story (98 percent). Jackson goes back to the roots of the story, and what made it so damn good, and brings it to modern audiences. Though nothing can ever top the original film, and all of its novelty, Jackson’s remake is pretty damn good. What always intrigued me about the Kong story, is that Ann Darrow, whether she knew it or not, was the beginning of the end of King Kong. In the climax, as he falls from the Empire State Building, you have to wonder that perhaps he was better off being alone. As with all noir the female is always the end for the male.
Nintendo: Oldschool Revolution (2006)
Sick of those films that have humongous battles, wars with mythological creatures, a leader of a mass army giving his legion of soldiers a large dramatic pep talk on the battlefield, fantasy stories about revenge, and wizards, all battling to fight an evil legion of soldiers whom want to take over the world? Well, stop. And watch at least one more. But this gigantic film’s hero is not a hobbit, or a knight of the round table, this hero is a–plumber. Seriously. Take your stigma for these films and put it on hold, and watch Larry Longstreth’s new hilarious short film that really puts a new meaning to the game wars.
11:14 (2003)
Imagine “The Trouble with Harry” combined with “Go”, and then take those films and dump it in a pile of shit, and then you’d have “11:14”, an incredibly grueling experience with yet more episodic vignettes except dialed down with a B cast with the likes of Colin Hanks, Patrick Swayze, and Oscar Winner Hillary Swank. One of these things is not like the other… Either way, “11:14” wants to be considered Altmanesque, but really it’s just another “Pulp Fiction” redux, ensemble cast and all, except shitty. Shelved for three years, and finally released in 2005 to a DVD release, and then premiering late night on cable television was a a deserved fate for such a low brow utterly ridiculous ensemble picture as “11:14”.
Sleepover (2004)
In the age of Laguna Beach, Paris Hilton, American Idol, and MTV, we have yet another teen craporama further adding fuel to the fire influencing our youth of America that all that matters in life is beauty, style, fashion, style, beauty, and being defiant because it’s so damn lovable. Disobey your parents. Look beautiful and thin as a wafer. Care what people say about you. Such undertones and hidden messages can be found in trash like “Sleepover.” “Sleepover” declares such vapid sentiment loud and clear with underage girls without a brain, under age girls painted in makeup and wearing skimpy clothing because–hey it’s like totally cool.