Outside of Buffy geeks, I really don’t see what reason you could have for liking “Voodoo Moon”. It’s a limp semi-action fantasy that uses the device of Voodoo as an excuse to expose its superhero, said hero is in the form of Eric Mabius who looks like quasi-Brandon Lee circa 1994. He’s dressed like a Goth, but really is a Voodoo shaman who is forced to fight off an evil entity that killed his mom and dad when he was a child. He enlists the help of his sister, played by Charisma Carpenter, who has a penchant for drawing pictures that foretell the future. And that’s really all she’s good for.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Dirty Love (2004)
Hey Jenny McCarthy, it’s cute you want to take after your hero Lucille Ball, and it’s cute you have aspirations of being funny, but stop. Can you do that for me? Stop trying, and go away. Go away and live on whatever royalties you’re getting from your days on MTV. You’re not hot when you’re farting everywhere, and you never were. You’re not funny, and you never will be. I appreciate your willingness to pretend you’re outrageous, but why do you keep making a fool of yourself? It’s really embarrassing. “Dirty Love” is sad, only because it’s the last efforts of a failed comedienne to show audiences how “quirky” and “outrageous” she can be, and she does this by making a really bad movie.
Hard Candy (2005)
Those upset by the ex-pedophile makes good story of “The Woodsman” may find consolation in “Hard Candy”, which is basically just a film about a pedophile that gets what he had coming to him all this time. While “The Woodsman” is basically about redemption “Hard Candy” is very much a one-sided revenge flick in the vein of “I Spit on Your Grave”, and “Audition”. Incidentally enough, both films with opposite depictions of pedophilia bear the same red riding hood metaphors. “Hard Candy” begins with the glow of a computer screen with two people chatting online and engaging in heavy flirting and finally, after a run around, decides to meet up. The two people in question are a fourteen year old named Hayley, and Jeff, a man in his thirties.
Undertow (2004)
Josh Lucas is an excellent actor, he can be, he aspires to be, but when he stars in crap like “Stealth” and “Glory Road”, he really continues to stay a footnote on the end of audience’s memories. But then he stars in films like “Undertow”, and you feel saddened, as I did, wondering: If this guy can give such a horrifying performance here, why can’t he take those talents and put them to good use? Lucas’s performance as a menacing uncle is basically on par with DeNiro as Max Cady, with Robert Mitchum in “Night of the Hunter” thrown in for good measure. That’s just about all there is to it.
The Big Lebowski (1998)
“The Big Lebowski” is probably my favorite Coen brothers film so far, even above “Fargo” in terms of sheer brilliance. “The Big Lebowski” is sort of a celebration of being a man, or in other terms, it’s a celebration of being a dude. Or The Dude. Or duder. Or El Duderino. But the pure fact remains that Bridges is a pure bad ass in anything he’s in and he shows it by being simply “The Dude”. Don’t ever call him Jeff Lebowski, though, it’s the dude. And that’s just the way he likes it. The Dude who lives at the bowling alley, hangs out with his psychotic friends, experiences rivalries with other bowlers, and just has fun finds himself in a humongous crime plot one night after returning home. Upon his return he discovers someone pissing on his carpet and is beaten up in his apartment. It so happens The Dude has been confused with another dude by the name of Jeff Lebowski, a millionaire whose daughter has been kidnapped.
Stomp! Shout! Scream! (2005)
I’m still trying to wrap my brain around the concept of how independent filmmakers with limited resources are so able to achieve the sixties camp value and genuine atmosphere of the kitschy sock hop era so easily, and yet studios with bloated budgets really can’t hit that mark. “Stomp! Shout! Scream!” is a well done fifties throwback that kept me engrossed from the opening musical montage that hit the mark without much effort. And I dare you not to tap your feet to the catchy theme song entitled—well—“Stomp! Shout! Scream!”
The Omen (2006)
I’m tired of singing the same song about remakes over and over. I’m tired of being angry about the studios taking a classic and ruining it. And it’s a waste of energy especially since I have no power to stop them, and you idiots will just go to see whatever the commercial man tells you to see. So I’ll just save it and review the damn movie. Much like Gus Van Sant remaking “Psycho”, this remake of the Omen is an interesting shot by shot reproduction with many liberties taken in minimal aspects of plot and character, but it has a nasty habit of being rather unnecessary.