While it calls itself a variation of “Cinderella”, it’s really just yet another of the million versions of “Pretty in Pink”, because If I don’t recall Cinderella wasn’t as dumb as a brick, and Prince Charming wasn’t old enough to be her uncle. But when you get down to it and cut through all the bullshit, this is another of Duff’s tepid vehicles with the score comprised totally of her “music”, along with a main character that deifies her as someone she isn’t. I don’t understand what her appeal is except to assume that she’s getting roles for being blonde, white, and pretty.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
High Tension (Switchblade Romance) (2005)
I love slasher films, I go ape shit for them, and when I read about “Haute Tension” I went nuts especially after watching the trailer when I went to see “Saw” in theaters last year. Modern slasher films have been incredibly watered down with very little gore, and just nonsensical casting, hiring young hip actors to portray the victims. I always say that these days the best films are the foreign films, and the best horror films are indeed the foreign ones, and “Haute Tension” is no exception. This is a great film that was just so reminiscent of Argento’s gory style, with a killer that is awfully scary.
Secret Window (2004)
The surprise twist in the end concerning our character Mort isn’t really surprising when you come to think of it in the end. It’s unexpected, that’s for sure, but it’s also very expected, an expected twist to a story that isn’t even that interesting. You’ll most likely assume to your partner what the ending is at the first thirty minutes of the movie, and then in the end you’ll be right. What a shame. You’ll more than likely find this derivative as I did with the laughable ending which was such a horrible mimic of “The Shining.” The story which was basically a take off from “The Dark Half,” and one question came to mind when the climax of “Secret Window” finally approached. Is Stephen King just repeating himself? I was honestly stunned and a bit amused when the ending finally came, because it was so derivative of past King stories.
In Good Company (2004)
“In Good Company” is a great comedy drama that is both a study of life, and relationships. Director Paul Weitz manages to create a bittersweet portrait of Dan Foreman, a salesman for magazine ads who basically has his life under control, but when a company conglomerate buys out Dan’s magazine, he finds himself extremely humbled and wounded when he discovers his boss is a man named Carter, who is more than twenty years his junior. Now he has to adjust against his own will and better judgment, but the film becomes more esoteric under Weitz’ direction in which the modern villain, the big corporation, only becomes a microcosm for the recurring and strong theme of change, and approaching change with immense uncertainty. Even as Dan’s wife is about to bear a child. That is the strong connection every character bears during the story, as Weitz succeeds in tackling what life is all about: doubt, and worry, even in the climax.
The Amityville Horror (2005)
This does have some great elements that is a gleaming example of what this movie could have and should have been per the generous rating. Admittedly, I’m a real fan of Ryan Reynolds. He was good in that crap “Van Wilder”, and he was my favorite aspect of “Blade: Trinity”. He’s a genuinely good actor who has the ability to become one of the many huge over-exposed actors of the time. Reynolds gives a good performance and was convincing, and he’s really menacing when he begins going nuts. There’s a particularly great scene when he’s chopping wood and he’s making his stepson hold the wood and it’s so well directed and edited I was thinking “that’s how this movie should have been!”: tense, gritty, creepy, and just plain character-based.
The Girl Next Door (2004)
I actually liked this movie. It won’t win awards, and I will not spend any money on it, but for a good time I suggest you check this out. If you’re a guy. Usually the casting of a hot girl to distract me never works, but here, looking at Elisha Cuthbert, I just couldn’t help but dismiss the flaws. And there were plenty of flaws. Elisha Cuthbert is really hot. She has this amazing face and unbelievable body, she’s just not human, and that was the saving grace for me with this movie. Watching her parade herself back and forth was amazing and she won me over completely. And then there’s Timothy Olyphant who plays sleazy porno director Kelly, who proves to be quite an obstacle and nemesis for Hirsch’s character. Olyphant is entertainingly over the top in this film, with all the usual clichés with spiky hair, a menacing grim, and sleaze galore.
Home on the Range (2004)
“Home on the Range” is a sign post, it’s a sign post up ahead the reads the basic end of Disney. What once was a company that gave us “The Lion King” and “Bambi” now gives us crap like “Lilo and Stitch”, their direct to video sequels of their classic films, and–this. I wanted to like “Home on the Range”, I really did, I was expecting at best an entertaining animated film that was a guilty pleasure, and even that doesn’t pull off my expectations at all. I was so disappointed after liking the pictures of the animated characters that I saw, but, man, this is a lame movie. The animation is very reminiscent of masters such as Tex Avery, Chuck Jones, and Bob McKimson, the era where cartoons were actually good and funny, does anyone remember that?