Hell's Belles (2013)

Director Christian Anderson’s short horror film is a short I hope turns in to a feature film. I intend to buy it. And re-watch it. Every time I think there can’t be any new material mined from the horror hero gamut, someone always surprises me. “Hell’s Belles” is a fantastic short horror film about two ghost fighting babes named Adria and Helena.

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You Have to See This! Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (1965)

Russ Meyer was a man who loved breasts. He surely enjoyed the female form, but mostly he loved breasts. He fetishized them, worshipped them, and centered his entire career making films that idolized them in some form or another. Russ Meyer is one of the last directors who cast and adored curvy busty women, and though he’s written off sometimes as an exploitation director, Meyer definitely was a dying breed of male. Sure, breasts are still worshipped in today’s society, but not many directors have the guts to reveal them so much in their films.

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Whatever Makes You Happy (2010)

In many ways, director A.T. Sayre’s “Whatever Makes You Happy” is an accomplished romantic drama that builds on interesting conflicts. And while it may be rough around the edges in many respects, beyond its flaws there is a really good movie here. Reminiscent of “About Last Night” in certain elements, “Whatever Makes You Happy” focuses primarily on the character of protagonist Anna who spends most of her time in the safe bosom of her apartment and books. One day during a date with her boyfriend she meets the more rugged and daring aspiring musician Alex.

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The Teenie Weenie Bikini Squad (2012)

Kylee Nash. Oh my god. Kylee Nash. Oh my god. Kylee Nash. Oh my god. Now that that’s out of my system, Fred Olen Ray has introduced us to a trio of women infinitely sexier than Charlie’s Angels and a lot funnier. Able to get in just about anywhere thanks to their assets, so to speak, they’re the best of the best. Even if they walk around half naked and with see through clothing even during top secret meetings. Hey, I don’t question the universe Fred Olen Ray unfolds, I just enjoy it.

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Our Top Ten Comic Book Movies

The comic book movie has never been bigger in the age of modern cinema, and as a commodity, it’s still a very valuable asset for many studios who once considered the notion of basing a tent pole movie around a superhero laughable. For a long time comic book movies were C grade Television fodder like “Nick Fury: Agent of SHIELD” and “Generation X,” and now they’re raking in humongous profits at the box office, have helped fuel media empires, saved comic book companies like Marvel, and have attracted humongous movie stars to portray iconic characters. As such with comic book movies still being doled out in as fast a pace as studios can dole them out, here are ten of my Top Ten Comic Book Movies of All Time. So far. I expect this list to be different in ten years.

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Hostel: Part III (2011)

imagesIt’s not like I’m disappointed or anything. I mean, I’m shocked they managed to somehow take a one note ridiculous concept like “Hostel” and turn it in to one whole movie, let alone two. And now they decided to create a third film that attempts to flip the coin on the premise and fails spectacularly. “Hostel Part III” is a mind numbing, cheap, despicable little mess of a horror film, the last release of excess gas on the festering corpse of the torture porn fad that attempts to build on the hollow premise of the first film.

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Spiders (2013)

spidersYou know how I know “Spiders” is set in New York and not in a cleverly shot in a studio with the same set pieces re-used over and over again? Becawse Patrick Muldoon tawks like dis tru most of da movie. Youse guys and yaw clichés about New Yawkers! Hey, I’m walkin here! It sounds like I made a bad funny, but a character actually shouts that a half hour in to the movie. Because it’s not Canada if you don’t say “eh,” and it’s not New York if you don’t pay homage to Ratzo Rizzo.

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