Masters of Horror: Or How I F*cked Up a Golden Opportunity

Posted on by

I don’t need a horror channel to remind me I’m a horror fan. I don’t need a channel to play the same old bullshit movies I have in my collection, and then turn into a quasi-horror channel months later playing music videos, and wrestling programs. A channel doesn’t make me an automatic solid horror fan.

I’ve been one since I was four.

But I wanted a great horror show god damn it. The show I wanted to be great, ended up being one giant dry hump sans the stained pants, while the show I expected to flop, ended up being damn good. I speak of “Dexter” in that last comparison.

“Masters of Horror” is a lot like that really hot chick you met in high school. She was good looking without or without makeup, presented many possibilities, you imagined every such situation, and position, and when you and she were finally alone, she really wasn’t much to talk about. And then you’re left with nothing but disappointment.

Continue reading →

Scary "The Simpsons" Episodes Not Affiliated With Halloween

Posted on by

So, you’ve seen all of the “Treehouse of Horror” episodes, including the newest one on FOX that was… okay, and you still want to see The Simpsons, but with episodes that are horror themed. We have ten episodes from The Simpsons that have nothing to do with Halloween but are very much steeped in horror, or mystery and will whet your appetite for the genre. Even when the Simpsons aren’t delivering their yearly “Treehouse of Horror” episode, they’re still churning out atmospheric episodes filled with elements from the genre that are often excellent and entertaining. Here are ten stands outs.
Continue reading →

The Backwater Gospel (2011)

Posted on by

500px-The_Backwater_GospelWho needs a monster when you can allow people to become the monsters themselves? When you throw in a bunch of bigoted narrow minded individuals together, and hand them superstitious hokum to chew on, you’re going to get a good idea of who they are and who they will become in due time. The town in a desert hole finds itself fearing the reaper every time the dreaded undertaker comes around to take measurements for death’s latest toll, and uses their Christian beliefs as a shield against his menace.

Continue reading →

Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990)

Posted on by

TALES-FROM-THE-DARKSIDESo “Tales from the Darkside: The Movie” is based on the television show, but in the movie, “Tales from the Darkside” is actually a book filled with various horror stories. Does that mean the television show is actually a book? Is the narrator at the opening credits the one telling us the various stories? How did the witch in the film get a hold of the book? And is the witch Debbie Harry plays in the film the same one she plays in the episode “The Moth” where she portrays a devious teenage witch outwitting her mother? It’s never quite indicated. At all. I assume the film is attempting to be meta with the wrap around story, but it never quite works. However we do get a slight instance of the theme song to the television series playing during a scene in the opening.

Continue reading →

Hostel/Hostel Part II/The Tattooist/The Hunt for the BTK Killer – 4 Movie Collection (DVD)

Posted on by

If you’re willing to do without the nasty things like special features, and trailers, the four horror hits from Mill Creek Entertainment isn’t really that bad a purchase. If you can stand to sit through two terrible horror films and two mediocre ones as well, then you’re really not going to be disappointed considering the price tag on the four film set.

Another in a line of consumer friendly sets, Mill Creek releases a four horror film set for modern horror fans and all things considered it’s a solid release with four films that may not be masterpieces but are at least worth experimenting with. With the four movie collection on DVD, here is what you’ll ultimately get:

Hostel (Unrated Director’s Cut) – Produced by Quentin Tarantino, “Hostel” is a torture porn horror film and box office winner directed by Eli Roth that sets the light on a group of American travelers who end up in a ring of depravity and torture when they attempt to find random sex and sew their wild oats in Europe over their vacation. Though Eli Roth’s horror film suffers from bad writing, an uneven tone, and a horribly homophobic narrative, “Hostel” does come out ahead with some strong performances and a good lead role by underrated actor Jay Hernandez. And for folks who appreciate it, there are cameos from major horror icons who play members of the elite Hostel who pay thousands of dollars to torture innocent people for their own pleasure and satisfaction. Don’t believe the hype, hostels don’t exist.

Continue reading →

100 Greatest Horror Classics: 24 Disc Set (DVD)

Posted on by

You’re probably saying, “Hey Cinema Crazed, I have over a hundred and twenty seven hours to kill. What ever shall I do?” Well, I have just what you’re looking for, friend-o. From Mill Creek Entertainment comes the double boxed set of your usual horror classics and not so classics all compounded in to a hundred horror movies and twenty four discs all for your viewing pleasure. With spiffy cover art like you see at left, and the movies included, what else would you want? What else, I ask? Well? Answer me, damn it.

Featured among this massive set is two episodes of “Alfred Hitchcock Presents” entitled “The Chaney Vase” starring Darren McGavin and “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” starring Diana Dors! There’s also “The Amazing Mr. X” from 1948, “The Ape” from 1948, “The Ape Man” from 1943, and various other gems like “The Brain That Wouldn’t Die ” from 1962, the always terrifying “Carnival of Souls” from 1962. As usual there’s the classic that started the entire slasher sub-genre, “Dementia 13” and the John Barrymore 1920 classic “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.”

Continue reading →

May (2002)

Posted on by

06-May-2002May Dove Canady’s upbringing is eerily very similar to Michael Myers. While there isn’t a hint of abuse or neglect in the opening shots that chronicle life as a child in her family house hold, we get the sense that the somewhat grating goal for perfection is the key to May’s abundant madness and psychosis. When we meet May, she’s a fairly normal and meek child who has been inflicted with a lazy eye that gives her poor sight. Though it’s a small imperfection that can be adjusted over time, her mother spends a majority of the time focusing on the imperfection to notice May is a very beautiful young girl. Though she doesn’t entirely experience unusual cruelty for her small affliction, the abundant idealizing of her mother, as well as the fawning over a china doll that is clearly the manifestation of what her mother originally pictures would be May, causes her to grow in to an isolated and mal adjusted young woman.

Continue reading →