Nude Nuns with Big Guns (2010)

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Director Joseph Guzman’s ode to the grindhouse devices of the seventies is an admirable and often times entertaining take on nunsploitation while also delving in the realms of sexploitation, and revenge fare. Ever since “Grindhouse” indie directors have constantly attempts to mimic the same gloss and nods Tarantino and Rodriguez strived for and–as I’ve seen–many indie directors have pulled it off. Some of them, like Guzman, do it even better than the alleged master filmmakers ever did. Because unlike the former pair, the indie directors have little to work with, and must rely on creativity where budget fails. “Nude Nuns with Big Guns” is not so much a nunsploitation film as it is a Southern fried take on Bo Arne Vibenius’ classic “Thriller a Cruel Picture.”

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Uncorked (2010)

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Uncorked5Actor Phil Hall is something of a perfectionist, a man who really fancies himself an improvisational artist. It’s not too often we see actors in films who are willing to improvise, and Phil Hall is a man who has co-starred in many independent films and is an individual who believes in the ability to improvise to give us moments in film that scripts can’t conceive. “Uncorked” is a thirty minute experimental short featuring actor Phil Hall basically staging his own one man show where he shows the audience what he’s capable of in the realm of improv and playing it by ear.

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The Karate Kid (2010)

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You could have called this “Fist of the East,” or “Test of Fortitude” and it would have grossed obscene amounts of money at the box-office, regardless. It’s a movie that is so meticulously built to appeal to audiences and tickle every emotion possible, that it’s so much more a marketing gimmick than it is an actual movie. Calling it “Karate Kid” is just the icing on the cake. Eighties exploitation is huge. There are currently dozens of overgrown men on the cusp of forty mourning the days of Rocky Balboa, and cassette tapes, still bawling about how the eighties were so much better that calling it “Karate Kid” was a bonafide ticket to box office gold. Plus Jaden Smith is Will Smith’s son, and Will Smith always equals big bucks.

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A Very Zombie Holiday (2010)

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team-unicorn-zombieWho is Team Unicorn, why haven’t I heard of them until now, and why is “A Very Zombie Holiday” the best thing ever? Is it the best thing ever? It’s the best thing ever. Redundancy be damned, be damned! There is no emoticon for the anger I’m feeling for not being aware of this troupe! Team Unicorn is apparently a small comedy team comprised of four hilarious and incredibly gorgeous women whose entire shtick revolves around comedy shorts. This one in particular is called “A Very Zombie Holiday.”

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Logan (2012)

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One of my soft spots whenever reviewing movies sent to us by indie filmmakers is fan films. It’s become a genre onto itself, and most times can be a platform for fan boys who happen to be creative filmmakers. That’s a lethal combination that can amount to a wonderful fan service you can’t get from Hollywood.

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Legion (2010)

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In the bible, Michael is the archangel of God, the loyal general of God’s armies who is the soldier to battle Satan and help hurl Satan and his followers in to the underworld. Michael is also the archangel to have been prophesized to defeat the Anti-Christ. Often depicted with a flaming sword, Michael is swift and loyal to his holy creator. As such he is one of my favorite characters of the bible. Michael in “Legion” is a gun toting, one-liner chucking, tattoo donning mother who speaks in a grumble and slur that feels as if star Paul Bettany is attempting to restrain his English accent, and is trying to channel a Southern drawl. Here we see Michael as one part The Punisher, one part Mr. Blonde, and two parts T-800, who stumbles around stomping and commanding his human drones to fight back against the hordes of angels, and whispering poetic diatribes about his allegiance to God.

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Dym (2007)

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smoke_mainAt the request of director Grzegorz Cisiecki, I cautiously entered in to his 2007 short film entitled “Dym,” and hoped to see what would be the seeds of a great director in the making. While in the end “Dym” leans toward being a demo reel for work in the states, “Dym” is also a striking short film delving in to the psychosexual madness our main character endures when experiencing a turbulent romance with his girlfriend.

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