Watching “The Boondock Saints” is something of an experience, and one that I’m actively working on forgetting as soon as humanly possible. Director Troy Duffy’s action trashapalooza is much too mind-numblingly moronic to be taken as an earnest effort for indie action cinema, and much too stern to be considered camp garbage. You can clearly sense director and writer Troy Duffy working actively to portray every single character in this film as something to be taken with a straight face and a shiver, but in the end none of it works out for the better.
Step Up 3D (2010)
In spite of the best efforts from the writers to give their most passionate story, one thing they do achieve is making the character of Moose something of a more dignified and empathic underdog hero. In a film series filled with pretty people, it’s refreshing to see the screenwriters working toward making Adam G Sevani something of an entertaining and complex individual. Here instead of making us laugh, he’s given much more dramatic material however cliche it may be. Continue reading
Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)
What with Clive Barker’s gothic romance garnering immense popularity among his fans and horror buffs, it was only a matter of time until the Cenobites took control of the overall premise of Barker’s mythos and headlined the franchise. After the second part, the entire series basically missed the whole point of “Hellraiser” and soon enough Pinhead took center stage evolving in to nothing more than another movie monster prone to Shakespearean diatribes. For better or for worse, Pinhead became the star of the “Hellraiser” films and here he’s reduced to little more than an interactive head on a totem pole. Bye bye Tiffany, you had so much to offer, but it’s off to movie purgatory with you.
Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)
Yes much like the original Barker film, I’ve yet to ever really see “Hellbound,” as it’s managed to elude me for many years. I can recall seeing bits of it on a local cable station in America and never quite being able to experience it in its entirety. Tragically the only remotely interesting character in the entirety of “Hellbound” is Tiffany. Introduced as one of the more gifted and confounding of the patients within the mental institution, the character is a labyrinth within a labyrinth, a taskmaster disguised as mentally ill whose own personality and identity is about as enigmatic as the demonic puzzlebox. Imogen Boorman gives a rather striking performance as this walking riddle who consumes most of her time solving puzzles and tricks that doctor Channard gives her.
Hellraiser (1987)
I’m ashamed to admit that up until now I’ve never seen Clive Barker’s horror opus “Hellraiser.” In spite of it being regarded as a classic by many horror buffs and standing as a bonafide Gothic masterpiece, “Hellraiser” has managed to elude me for years. I’ve only managed to watch portions of the sequel, and the entirety of the third entry on late night cable as a child, but beyond that, I could never set down on the original film. One thing I loved about “Hellraiser” in the end was that Barker never holds our hands throughout the story he draws for the audience. Rather than making on the nose exposition, he instead allows us to explore this horror fantasy with the characters.
Hack/Slash: My First Maniac #3 of 4
Well up until the third issue, “My First Maniac” was a decent prequel to the Hack/Slash run on the Image tag. While I miss Vlad, and every other supporting character, I’ve been giving Cassie Hack and her first adventure in to the slasher realm a fair chance and this third issue really hasn’t been doing it for me. Mostly where the issue should be mostly about being a slasher throwback it instead takes itself very seriously and doesn’t seem to be having any fun with the concept at all.
I’m still not sure if this is the same Cassie Hack from Devil’s Due, and I’m still trying to figure out the elements of this villain. Not only are the supporting characters so utterly boring and tedious to endure, but Cassie is also having the life sucked out of her by these vapid characters all of whom lack any form of empathy.
Stan Helsing (2009)
Comedy… especially horror comedy, is almost impossible to pull off. As the Wayans brothers can attest to, there’s only so much material to be mined until you’re pretty much just tapping the same old cliches for an audience that has seen it a thousand times over since the eighties. If “Scary Movie” proved anything, it’s that horror spoofs are quickly forgotten and easily aged especially when fads in horror comes and go faster than style in America. By the time “Scary Movie” was released, the whole “Scream” phenomenon was tired thus the Wayans were already three steps behind. “Stan Helsing” is an attempt to combine all the classic tropes while also bringing an actual narrative to the audience. Oddly enough while it’s not a good film by any means, it’s also not the worst spoof ever put to film.


