I’m probably one of the five people in America who thought that “Speed Racer” just got a bad rap by critics and audiences. I mean, really, what were you expecting from this flick? When all is said and done, I don’t think it’s that bad a movie at all. In fact I’m more than willing to admit its bevy of flaws but am still able to enjoy it in spite of the evident caveats. “Speed Racer” is too cool to just dismiss. I mean for a two hour and fifteen minute movie (seriously, Wachowskis?) it’s actually easy to sit through with a very unique take on Speed Racer. I hate to play apologist to the Wachowskis and their big budget effort, but I have to appreciate the pulp neo-noir take on “Speed Racer” with a vision that doesn’t talk down to kids.
Iron Man: 2 Disc Ultimate Edition (DVD)
Come on even the most militant fan of “The Dark Knight” has to admit that at one point “Iron Man” completely stole the thunder from the marketing campaign Nolan and Warner Bros. steamrolled in to theaters and for a short while it looked like the sequel to “Batman Begins” was doomed to be an under performer. It was a brief window but surely enough Marvel took the steam from the Big Eared One. And why wouldn’t it? Marvel has done it again. Sitting down to watch “Iron Man” is an incredible experience and one that warrants at least three or more viewings for any fan of comic books. If you’re a hardcore comic book geek like I am, you’ll know that “Iron Man” had every chance to be a steaming pile because the character has always been a third rate joke in the Marvel Universe.
Movies That Age Poorly: Independence Day (1996)
Directed by Roland Emmerich
Written by Dean Devlin, Roland Emmerich
I can criticize his movies all I want, but Will Smith makes money out the ass, and most times without even trying at all. He can star in a bastardized remake of a classic Western show, a bastardized adaptation of a science fiction novel, or a bastardized adaptation of a classic horror novel, and the man will still bank about a billion dollars easy. Take “Hancock.” Wow. But one thing that I’ve alwys found ridiculous was that Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin expected us to believe that these aliens have every capability to defend themselves against our forces from electromagnetic waves, lasers, bombs, and missiles, but they couldn’t protect themselves against a super virus? And it takes one virus to bring down their defense systems? Doesn’t that contradict their whole advanced technology strategy? And if they could communicate telepathically, wouldn’t it stand to reason they would operate their machines telepathically? And since when do jets travel as fast as alien technology?
I Met The Walrus (2008)
John Lennon was calling for something big, he wanted something revolutionary to happen, something that would shake up the world and let the government realize that the people would not and could not be bullied in to war. He wanted peace, and as wholly naive as it may have seemed on the outside, it was a goal that was possible if we’d just try it out. It hurts to think that his words were in vain and that everything this man believed and taught went away in a hail of apathy, comfort, and luxury with technology and the man meant every single word.
Legion Of Superheroes: Volume 3 (DVD)
It was probably a god send that “Legion” was cancelled, because three seasons in, the series was making very little progress in the way of storylines. With the constantly shuffling characters, and tonal changes, “Legion” could never really decide what it wanted from audiences, and the addition of Chameleon Boy shows that. His sudden introduction in Season Three with his smart ass personality left the show feeling painfully uneven as most of the characters felt very self aware and stern while Chameleon was often spouting one liners and nothing else.
The Spiderwick Chronicles (2008)
I miss movies like these, fantastic fantasy films that influenced reading without giving us a PSA or shoving religion down our throats. I miss films like “Neverending Story” or “Dark Crystal” that explored a whole world beyond ours without watering down a story. “The Spiderwick Chronicles” is that throwback to the classic fantasy kids films with violence, suggestive language, and edgy action that kept the line between kids film and teen film very very thin. Surprisingly mixed in reviews upon its release, I am saddened that Mark Waters’ family fantasy flick wasn’t more universally embraced as it should have been.
Disaster Movie (2008)
Dear North America,
Thank you. “Disaster Movie” barely cracked the top seven in the box office. Thank you. I Was tempted to sound like one of those newspapers by declaring “Disaster Movie” a true disaster, but such Oscar Wilde wordplay (Yes, I referenced Randall Graves) is too good for Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. These are the men who felt having a character named McLover was funny. And you proved me wrong in declaring your utter stupidity. There’s a lot to be said for morbid curiosity and you weren’t curious about “Disaster Movie” were you? No.