I’m tired of singing the same song about remakes over and over. I’m tired of being angry about the studios taking a classic and ruining it. And it’s a waste of energy especially since I have no power to stop them, and you idiots will just go to see whatever the commercial man tells you to see. So I’ll just save it and review the damn movie. Much like Gus Van Sant remaking “Psycho”, this remake of the Omen is an interesting shot by shot reproduction with many liberties taken in minimal aspects of plot and character, but it has a nasty habit of being rather unnecessary.
Valiant (2005)
Messenger pigeons were a crucial aspect to the victory of World War 2, and an integral foundation to the survival of the soldiers on the battlefield. “Valiant” is a fun adventure story revolving around messenger pigeons during the Second World War, and it’s surprisingly entertaining. I know it’d be hip to describe “Valiant” as simply lackluster, but I had fun, I had a lot fun, and there are possible reasons for it: I love the British culture, so I have a weakness for anything involving it. I love British comedy. And I love British comedians, and the cast is filled with nothing but talented, legendary British actors and comedians. I mean with cast of Ewan McGregor, Ricky Gervais, Hugh Laurie, Jim Broadbent, Tim Curry, John Cleese, and many, many more, how could I not enjoy this film? And I did.
Superman: Brainiac Attacks (2006)
While I love Bruce Timm, and while I appreciate him bringing DC out from the stone age and into modern times, he basically ruined the Superman series, and never realized it to the full potential it was capable of. Timm, a hardcore fan of batman, relegated Supes to secondary character, and when he actually focused on Superman, he never really understood what the character was about. Even in the “Justice League” series, Timm always tried to push Batman into the center square and downsize on the Superman character. So you can imagine my sheer ease when the announcement for the new Superman animated movie would not feature Timm on board.
The Coatroom (2005)
I swear, if I wasn’t aware this was an independent film from someone else, I’d insist until my face turned blue that this was directed by Terry Zwigoff. Take the demented attitude of Zwigoff, the situations of “Clerks”, and the awkward realism of “The Office” and you’ll pretty much have “The Coatroom”. Gilbert’s film is an entertaining absurdist existential comedy about a group of people, working in an awful job, contemplating life and their dead end careers in art.
Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)
About a little under a year ago, a filmmaker named Russell Emanuel sent over a film called “Girl with Gun”, about a single girl who has to balance her single life, career, and job as a hit man all at the same time. I loved that movie and it was a little under twenty minutes long. That film, an independent film, was fun, light, and breezy and managed to grasp its concept with enough entertaining novelty, that it felt too damn short. With “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”, I didn’t get that feeling. And I wanted to enjoy it, I really, really did. But I couldn’t. And why? Well, mostly because “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” takes itself much too seriously. One thing I can’t begrudge “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” for is its excellent direction.
Mysterious Skin (2004)
The most frightening tales of the world, regardless of genre, be it horror, or drama, is always childhood trauma and abuse. Childhood trauma stories are always the most universally disturbing such as “A Tale of Two Sisters,” “Radio Flyer,” or “Mystic River,” because they always reach down and connect with us, no matter what occurs to the characters. Stories told through the child’s point of view always manage to bring the audience closer and makes us feel much more capable of relating even if the situation before us isn’t one that’s ever happened to us.
The World's Fastest Indian (2005)
Every now and then, every so often, you just have to watch a film that makes you smile and makes you happy. “The World’s Fastest Indian” is the surefire antidote for depression or cynicism. Anderson’s film, in the spirit of coming of age stories like “Harry and Tonto” and “The Straight Story”, evolves from a story of friendship, then of a small town, then of an old man refusing to lay down and die, to a road flick, and then to an underdog sports film. And it’s just such a treat to watch everything unfold with Burt Munro played with such genuine charm by Hopkins.