Five Myths/Urban Legends That Deserve a Great Movie

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Myths, urban legends, cryptozoology? We love them. We love to read about them. We love the local legends from the Beast of bray Road, to the chupacabra? Do they exist? Who Knows? Every legend is born with some grain of truth, however minuscule. They’re still fun to read about though, and they’re exciting to research, to boot. The world is so vast and still so mysterious, who knows what we have yet to find? Here are five of our favorite myths/urban legends that deserve a great movie. It has to happen, eventually.

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Ticks (1993)

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Even as a kid who pretty much watched anything that was on TV, I fondly remember watching “Ticks” when I was ten, and couldn’t get over how delightfully bad it was. Today, it’s still bad, but more in the so bad its good arena. It pretty much is a monster movie centered on giant ticks that act a lot like the face huggers from “Aliens.” In fact “Ticks” really is “Attack of the Facehuggers,” except these face huggers suck on human blood and don’t really have a queen of their very own. They do however spend the majority of their time chasing around Seth Green and Alfonso Ribiero, so you can’t call it a waste of time. Plus, anything featuring the gorgeous Rosalind Allen is worth a watch.

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The Invoking 2 (2015) (DVD)

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It’s unusual that a sequel to a horror film would suddenly switch formats to an anthology, but horror anthologies are all the rage these days. What were once reserved for horror heavyweights like Romero, Savini, and Zemeckis, are now platforms for rising up and comers of the indie film world. I’m glad that these movies are allowing indie filmmakers to show off their short films, as there is a treasure trove of short horror films out there that almost never get seen by a wide audience. Thankfully you don’t have to see the first film to enjoy the sequel, since it basically bears no connections to the original narrative. This time, it’s an anthology of short horror segments with the recurring theme of ghosts and demons.

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The Green Inferno (2015)

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Justine joins Alejandro’s social activists group after seeing that they had real results at her university getting janitors health coverage. Soon she finds herself going to the Amazon forest in Peru to save a small village from being destroyed by a company wanting the natural gas found under the area they occupy. The group goes to Peru, does their thing, and then heads back home. However, they do not make it home as their plane crashes in the Amazon. A part of the group dies in the crash in various horrible ways. As the survivors escape the wreckage, the villagers they came to save attack them killing a few more and taking the six last survivors with them. It quickly becomes clear that the captives are meant to be breakfast, lunch, and dinner as the first member is dispatched gruesomely and cooked.

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Mischief Night (2014)

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I really enjoy one aspect of “Mischief Night,” and it’s the two scene walk on role by Malcolm McDowell. I mean seriously, who walks around various neighborhoods to quiz people about Halloween and warn them about not opening their doors? Who in the world has that much time? For all intents and purposes, director Travis Baker makes damn good use of the extra money he spent on McDowell’s appearance. Sure the man has nothing to do in the movie, but he’s in there, come hell or high water.

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In the Dark (2015)

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David Buchert and Chris St. Croix’s “In the Dark” is definitely one of the most tonally inconsistent anthology horror films I’ve seen in a long time. While it’s not a terrible trio of horror stories, it shifting tones and mediocre scares won’t elicit a huge fan base. That’s a shame, since “In the Dark” sports a really good opening introduction and wrap around sub-plot. In the wave of anthologies hitting VOD, I’d place this in the mediocre category. Set during a night time robbery, two sisters, who also happen to be maniacal killers, hide out in a hotel awaiting a rendezvous with their boss. While they wait, they sit around and partake in three mysterious horror movies on VHS that they stole from their victims.

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Martyrs (2008)

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I think if it weren’t so obsessed with its own self-indulgent pseudo-spiritualism and didn’t stop to tell four different stories simultaneously, “Martyrs” may have been a decent film. It begins as a solid revenge picture, but then devolves in to an absurd campaign in torture and pain. It’s a grueling sadistically boring horror drama with a narrative so convoluted I stopped caring about what was unfolding after the first half hour. “Martyrs” loves to pretend it’s this transcendent statement about our questioning of the afterlife, but in reality it’s just misogynist torture porn painted as art house dribble that will make you feel dirty.

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