Justice Woman

jwThe new superhero web series entitled “Justice Woman” is an episodic adventure that’s less “Elektra” meets Lois Lane, and more Carrie Bradshaw if she decided to don a costume and investigate crimes in her city. “Justice Woman” is definitely a web series for the martini drinking, “The View” watching audience. That’s by no means meant to be a disparaging commentary on the series, but “Justice Woman” is definitely aiming for a niche audience, and I’m sadly not it.

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Kiddy Kiddy Bang Bang (2012)

Dick Jane’s short film is obviously just a prologue to further adventures of its two heroines. It’s either going to be the first in a series of short films, or “Kiddy Kiddy Bang Bang” is a pitch for a feature film in the making. If Dick Jane gets it off the ground, I can imagine Troma being more than willing to scoop this up and make this in to a cult classic. As a short film it’s exploitative, ridiculous, far-fetched, and the entire story just makes no damn sense. I also snickered at the dedication to sexual abuse victims in the final scene.

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Dungeons & Dragons (2000)

I remember when I first read that “Dungeons & Dragons” was about to come to theaters in cinematic form. At the time of the film’s release I was obsessed with fantasy, and dragons and wouldn’t you know it? Zoe McLellan was co-starring. To fans of obscure science fiction, she co-starred as a gorgeous nerd in the TV series “Invisible Man.” If you want to know what that is, look it up. It’s a long story. I digress. McLellan would go on to play a gorgeous nerdy librarian in “Dungeons & Dragons” who really didn’t do much in the film. But she looked fetching the entire time. What makes “Dungeons & Dragons” such an astonishing film, is that it was released by New Line Cinema in the year 2000. As stated by other movie critics, “Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring” would be released a year later around December of the same time.

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Judge Dredd (1995)

judgedreddBefore the comic book movie revival of the twenty first century, the nineties didn’t have that many notable comic book movies to brag about. There was the awful “Tank Girl,” and the even worse “Barb Wire.” There was “Spawn,” and “Generation X,” and “Nick Fury: Agent of SHIELD,” “STEEL,” and “Batman and Robin.” And like those aforementioned titles, Hollywood adapted these titles completely missing why readers actually flocked to them in the first place. Never content with laying waste to more underground comic books, Hollywood eventually got its hands on Judge Dredd and turned it in to a Hollywood schlock fest that was so desperate for an audience it cast Rob Schneider in a major role.

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Firefly: Ten Years Later

SHdi6kFBack in 2005 I remember going to the movie theaters to see “Land of the Dead” with my mom an equally rabid horror fanatic, and sitting down to watch the previews. I remember fondly sitting in front of the screen watching the trailer for the upcoming movie “Serenity” and marveled at how interesting it looked. It wasn’t love at first sight, it wasn’t immense curiosity, but just a mild interest that made me think about it and push it in to the back of my mind for a good while.

Months later prior to the unleashing of “Serenity” in to theaters, the Science Fiction channel in America aired a marathon of the entire “Firefly” and when I sat down to watch it from beginning to end it dawned upon me why “Firefly” was cancelled and taken off television so quickly many people didn’t even know it was on. “Firefly,” during the marathon, often began every episode with a brief prologue from Nathan Fillion explaining the basic premise of the series. And then it kind of saddened me that the producers or network simply didn’t have confidence in the show. And worse, they didn’t have confidence that the audience could play catch up.

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Planet of the Apes (2001)

Subtlety has never been one of Tim Burton’s strong suits as a filmmaker. As a storyteller and overall director, Burton’s films rely on imagery and over enthusiastic narratives to do what he can’t as a craftsman. Oddly enough Burton is assigned to direct a remake of one of the most thematically subtle films of all time. “Planet of the Apes” is one of the most relevant commentaries on humanity and politics that has ever been brought to the big screen, and Burton never really grasps that aspect.

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Ichi (2008)

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I guess you can refer to “Ichi” as part of the official Zatoichi canon since the story of Ichi is one the reflects the effect Zatoichi the Blind Swordsman had on the people of Japan during his travels. Though not a remake or a reboot of the Zatoichi series, “Ichi” is an unofficial spin off that takes from the film series and creates its own branch off of an epic story about a beautiful young Goze who is taking a journey to find her savior before finally lying down to die. Haruka Ayase is incredibly beautiful and fierce as the Goze Ichi who spends most of her life wandering around from village to village trying to survive one more day while on a search for something in her life that’s kept her motivated to fight ever since she was a child.

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