By now it’s a pretty quick assumption that we may never get a truly great movie about “SWAT” the television show. What was a gritty violent and often disturbing show about life on the business as a SWAT officer became a pretty high budget and meek blockbuster vehicle for a cast of B listers who were more GI Joe and less “Heat.” Now with “Firefight” the studio behind this star-less vehicle ups the ante by pretty much assuring we’ll never see a reboot ever again with a competent cast. Which is not to say “Firefight” is a bad movie. It’s not. In fact it’s a very well made and steadily paced “sequel” that takes every precaution to do what it can with the cast of D listers who take up spots that once belonged to up and comers like Colin Farrell and Jeremy Renner and veterans like Samuel L. Jackson.
Tag Archives: Action
Ninja Assassin (2009)
While I appreciate the inherent ambition behind the script written by Matthew Sand and J. Michael Straczynski, any and all potential for absolute entertainment is wasted in the first fifteen minutes. Folks looking for a splatterific ninja quest will find the prologue to be one of the most grotesque and twisted openings to a ninja film. And then it goes downhill from there. It seems like the writers just aren’t happy enough with exploring the quest of ninja Raizo, but they instead want to focus on back story after meaningless back story.
Ninja Cheerleaders (2008)
You know what? “Ninja Cheerleaders” is trash but it’s trash you can admire. It’s a mixture of “3 Ninjas” with some “Bikini Carwash” for good measure, a veritable knock off of TMNT where director David Presley replaces teenage ninja turtles for teenage ninja cheerleaders. Starring three gorgeous and often cute young women, “Ninja Cheerleaders” tries for nothing more than pushing the limit upon with our actresses are willing to go. So while there is innuendo, there’s never any sex, and the women here are never sure if they want to be feminist icons or trashy slutty molds for what the movie begs. The plot is nothing you haven’t seen a thousand times before.
Sucker Punch (2011)
You have to appreciate Zack Snyder’s ambition for at least trying to tell a story. The man has proven himself in many regard, and with “Sucker Punch” he tries his best to deliver crowd pleasing entertainment that won’t polarize his fan base. The problem is, he never lets us in on the fact that deep down “Sucker Punch” is just a teenage melodrama disguised as a genre film. Sure it’s a journey of the self, and the mission of a group of young women to take on robots and monsters, but they’re all just metaphors.
Turtles Forever: Director's Cut
If you’re one of the kids who grew up during the golden age of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when they were all that any kid in their right talked about, then this form of nostalgiasploitation is one you’ll have a damn good time with. For anyone hoping to re-live their youth while also looking in to what the current incarnation of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are up to, the best form of marketing for all the audiences of this franchise comes in the form of “Turtles Forever,” a reality bending, genre twisting mini-movie that works as a satire on the eighties series, a tribute to the current incarnation and a respectful nod to the classic Turtles.
Battle: Los Angeles (2011)
In the past three years there has been a boom in versus films. And that’s primarily attributed to the boom of the direct to DVD industry that relies solely on gimmicks and plagiarism to fuel its economy and one of the primary cash cows of the market is the versus gimmick. We’ve seen every monster fight every warrior this side of folklore and what we see with “Battle Los Angeles” is pretty much soldiers versus aliens. In fact with less money and star power, Jonathan Liebesman’s film could very well have been titled “Aliens vs. Soldiers,” a roughneck balls to the wall action science fiction film that just doesn’t try too hard to bring us in close to its characters.
Drive Angry (2011)
Who knows why a movie about the lone ranger from hell flopped in 2011? No one will ever know. I attribute it to the lack of big name draw and exhaustion with Nic Cage from general movie audiences, but nevertheless, “Drive Angry” is an ambitious and admirably raucous grindhouse throwback that takes the battle of heaven and hell and brings it to planet Earth where a dad comes back from hell to keep his daughter from going to the stomping grounds of Satan. “Drive Angry” is a movie that… well, it’s a movie. It’s a movie that is there and it has no idea who the hell it’s supposed to be marketed to.