Normally I’m not a fan of the Asian horror comedy movies since about half of them are really god awful, but I just couldn’t resist “Big Tits Zombie.” Not only is the title absolutely brilliant, but it has zombies, and I just recently discovered Sola Aoi on the internet, thus I couldn’t pass up a chance to see her fighting zombies and jiggling every which way. The fact remains that if I have to sit through another zombie movie, I should at least watch hot Asian women with gorgeous busts bringing them down. It’s a fair compromise.
Tag Archives: Action
Lost Boys: The Thirst (2010)
After the disastrous and god awful “The Tribe,” which was just a remake of the original film, “Thirst” takes every chance to link to the original film convincing audiences that it really is an honest to goodness sequel and not just a wannabe of the “Lost Boys” variety. In its essence though it’s still just nostalgiasploitation, as it takes every precaution to connect to the original movie trying to create a fluid sense of continuity. We hear the classic theme song played in the opening, there’s a re-make of the vampire train track diving scene in the original, Edgar has flashbacks (i.e. clips) of his fighting days with Sam and Alan, Edgar and his brother take the time to explain to one another what happened to the rest of the characters (Corey Haim who died before the film, is told to have suffered a slight case of vampirism and staking), and Alan re-appears as a supporting character now in vampiric form.
Supernatural: Beginning's End
A few things about “Beginning’s End” that annoyed the crap out of me. Numero uno: They show the hounds of hell! Why? Why did they feel the need to show us the hounds of hell in their glory when the genius of the character was that we never saw what they looked like or their actual features? Does imagination mean nothing anymore? Numero dos: There’s nothing to be said here that hasn’t been said in the entire run of the series already. Sam is the one who is actually like John. Dean is just a guy trying to live up to his image of perfection and really is the outcast of the family. We knew that. “Beginning’s End” however is a solid mini-series to read.
Rogue (2007)
Personally I’m one who thought Greg McLean’s torture porn thriller “Wolf Creek” was one of the most bloated overrated and disgusting movies I’ve ever seen. For a guy whose seen stuff like “Cannibal Holocaust,” McLean’s picture left me feeling dirty and often times like I was enduring something extremely painful, and not intentionally. Whatever McLean had in mind for that piece of swill, he accomplished it apparently. “Rogue” doesn’t leave the Australian outback and this time focuses more on a claustrophobic setting involving stranded tourists on a creaky boat being stalked by a gigantic killer Crocodile.
Killer Cup 2: The Killer Cups Strike Back! (2004)
Oh god! They made a sequel! And it’s longer this time! A group of young people are going on a camping trip and have taken along the bare essentials like food, water, and styrofoam cups! The foreshadowing here is about as clunky as you’d expect with one of the characters making a point of declaring how big one of the cups are. Apparently it’s the master cup or chief general cup. In either case, what begins as a night of drinking and joking around (one of the campers even pretends to be bitten by the cup in a high-larious “gotcha” moment), soon all of the cups band together to strike back at the partiers and inflict carnage upon them.
Killer Cup (2002)
“Killer Cup” is about killer cups! What? You were expecting more? Alright fine! A.Normale’s short horror film entitled “Killer Cup” is pretty much a situation about what you see being what you get. Set to an obviously not copyrighted score by Rob Zombie, “Killer Cup” sets down at any school in the world where we view the plight of the Styrofoam cups used for tearing, smoker’s ashes, sunflower seeds and the like. Clearly, this is Michael Moore’s prologue to an upcoming environmental documentary right?
Laid to Rest (2009)
If you’re in the mood to watch a He-Man villain chase three buffoonish horror characters around deserted locales, eternal night, and a dull as day old bread funeral home, armed with a camera that seemingly never runs out of tape or battery power, then step right up to “Laid to Rest.” I can’t believe I waited anxiously for my chance to see this movie and wanted to welcome the new horror character to the slasher fold while enjoying the creative hook all to be welcomed with nothing but endless bickering among characters, a killer who doesn’t do much of anything unless the plot conveniently calls for some scares to keep audiences awake, and fifteen minutes involving three people trying to find the password to a cell phone to call police.