The creators of “Legend” have decided to take what made the first film so good and turn the sequel and its story into another “Spy Kids” rip off. Well, not so much “Spy Kids”, but a shameless rip off of “The Mummy Returns”. Male adventurer and female damsel both evolve into settled individuals that happen to have a son who is clever, smart mouthed, and both mutter at some point a variation of “My dad is going to kick your ass” to the grizzled villain. The derivations are so damn shameless that I felt bile of sheer disgust starting this film. The fact that the creators felt the need to add a snot nosed little brat who is there simply as one giant walking cliché, to make the film more “exciting” as merely just obvious pandering to a younger crowd, is condescending, since you figure Zorro did much of that already.
Tag Archives: Adaptation
The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi (2003)
Not many people are aware of it, but I’m a huge fan of the “Zatoichi” series. I love the series, and I’ve seen almost all of them, so when I was finally able to get my hands on the Beat Takeshi sequel, I was ecstatic. What made Zatoichi was that Shintaro Katsu presented such an inept and humble distinction to him that he was never thought to be a dangerous persona, but Katsu strived in making Zatoichi so unassuming, yet so utterly deadly. Katsu was short, chubby, and seemingly incapable of being able to learn any sort of arts, but once criminals crossed Ichi’s path, he spoke loudly with his rapid fire sword work. For those unaware of the character, Zatoichi is an ex-yakuza who lost his eyesight during a war, and became a masseur traveling across the land as an anti-hero.
Blade: The Series
After a rather unspectacular opening, it’s pretty clear where we stand. The budget is low, and Sticky Fingaz (rapper turned actor) is basically imitating Wesley Snipes doing Blade. Rather than take his own personality and attribute it to the character of Blade, Mr. Fingaz seeks only to imitate Snipes. Suggestion from the director, or his own choice, either one is still an incredible misstep. Fingaz even imitates Snipes’ slight African accent, with no avail.
The accent jumps in and out, and there are expected changes to the plot. Now Blade has an entourage comprised of your usual characters, and the wolf pack, Whistler, Deacon Frost et al are all basically forgotten, and or never mentioned. Maybe it’s permanent or maybe they’re saving it for (wishful thinking on their part) future seasons. I liked the “Blade” series. While “Blade” may not have been a masterpiece, its successors were entertaining. It was only obvious a spin-off/series would be attempted. And it’s still a great idea.
Superman: Brainiac Attacks (2006)
While I love Bruce Timm, and while I appreciate him bringing DC out from the stone age and into modern times, he basically ruined the Superman series, and never realized it to the full potential it was capable of. Timm, a hardcore fan of batman, relegated Supes to secondary character, and when he actually focused on Superman, he never really understood what the character was about. Even in the “Justice League” series, Timm always tried to push Batman into the center square and downsize on the Superman character. So you can imagine my sheer ease when the announcement for the new Superman animated movie would not feature Timm on board.
The World's Fastest Indian (2005)
Every now and then, every so often, you just have to watch a film that makes you smile and makes you happy. “The World’s Fastest Indian” is the surefire antidote for depression or cynicism. Anderson’s film, in the spirit of coming of age stories like “Harry and Tonto” and “The Straight Story”, evolves from a story of friendship, then of a small town, then of an old man refusing to lay down and die, to a road flick, and then to an underdog sports film. And it’s just such a treat to watch everything unfold with Burt Munro played with such genuine charm by Hopkins.
X-Men 3: The Last Stand (2006)
My antipathy and scathing skepticism at the fact that FOX would hire hack Brett Ratner to direct one of my favorite comic book franchises of all time hasn’t exactly been a secret for all this time. I hated the fact that Ratner was given resources to potentially destroy my beloved storyline, and I was not looking forward to this. Even with the fact that Ellen Page was cast, I didn’t find anything worth being impressed about with Ratner’s alterations of the series I loved. “X-Men: The Last Stand” is supposedly the “last” film in the X-Men franchise; of course all the fans know its complete bullshit. “The Last Stand” is the final film in the “X-Men” franchise like “The Final Chapter” was in the “Friday the 13th” franchise.
Stephen King's Desperation (2006)
I mean sure, “The Stand” had many biblical themes to it, and I don’t hold that against it basically because it’s my favorite television movie of all time, and my favorite King mini-series, but that’s because it never used the biblical themes so blatantly before. I have to say “Desperation” is one hell of a disappointment. It’s a cheesy, ridiculous, and utterly un-scary practice in babbling, that actually required a considerable amount of effort to sit through. After weeks of anticipation and excitement, I finally tuned in and basically zoned out by the second hour. If there’s any indication that producers have run out of material for Stephen King min-series, it’s “Desperation”.