Tag Archives: Adventure

Heavy Metal 2000 (2000)

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Boobs! Big Boobs! Big beautiful breasteses! Now that that’s out of my system, “Heavy Metal 2000” is primarily a sequel to pay tribute to the walking Amazonian that is Julie Strain. While it is adapted from a “Heavy Metal” novel like its superior animated entry, this is a film very much of its decade that is hell bent on convincing you that Julie Strain is a goddess. Not that it takes much convincing, mind you, but Strain succeeds in pull off a heroine who is very sexy but also tough as nails, and doesn’t mind getting her hands dirty; especially when her equally sexy sister is taken hostage.

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Heavy Metal (1981)

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There was always something about a rotoscope animated astronaut driving a top down corvette convertible from space to Earth that always screamed the eighties to me, and surprisingly it still works in encapsulating the surrealism of “Heavy Metal.” If you can accept the film for what it is, which is basically a man’s wet dream filled with misogyny, sex, big breasts, and mild exploitation, “Heavy Metal” is a solid animated anthology with some damn good music to accompany its epic sprawling tale. After the astronaut Grimaldi brings home mysterious green orb from space for his daughter, he’s melted and his daughter is shown by the sentient sphere named Loc-Nar, the extent of its power and influence through time and space.

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Stewardess School (1986)

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In 1984, “Police Academy” stormed in to theaters and helped define comedy for the eighties. Suddenly every profession in America was some kind of madcap misadventure, including being a stewardess, for some reason. “Stewardess School” is another take on the formula, this time with a group of misfits doing their damndest to train to become stewardesses, all the while getting naked, doing drugs, and experiencing some of the best stereotypes you can imagine. Filled with only the best C list TV stars, “Stewardess School” is passable entertainment if you keep in mind it’s trying its best to launch a series on the “Police Academy” formula.

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Pan (2015) [Blu-Ray/DVD/Digital]

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Another in a line of 2015 films I really wanted to love, “Pan” left me bored, and asking did we really need a prequel? Did we really need to end the movie on Peter and Captain Hook giving one another uncomfortable glances knowing soon they’d become deadly nemeses? Why is Captain Hook called Hook if he doesn’t even have a Hook? Why is Tiger Lily played by a Lily White Actress? Hey, at least Hollywood keeps giving consistently flat Rooney Mara jobs, and turns Tiger Lily in to the heroine of a movie that’s supposed to be about Peter Pan. Or is he Peter who is a Pan? Or is he a Pan Warrior Named Peter?

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Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)

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After many years of the “Star Wars” franchise remaining stagnant and relatively convoluted, “The Force Awakens” has come to simplify and completely re-think the movie series. JJ Abrams introduction to his bold new vision for “Star Wars” is a one hundred percent faithful visit to a galaxy far, far away that functions as a platform for a new series, a sequel, and a love letter to the simpler, episodic days of “Star Wars” where every film was an ode to the classic movie serials of the golden age of cinema. This time around “The Force Awakens” actively works in fixing many of the mistakes made in the original six films, by actively casting a wide array of heroes and villains to present a more humanistic environment we can dive in to. And I’m not speaking about a wider array of aliens, but racially diverse characters, all of whom have something to contribute.

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Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse (2015)

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It’s not often a zombie movie can pay tribute to a ton of classic horror and still come out as one of the genuinely funny and novel horror comedies of the year. “Scout’s Guide” is a fan boy movie from the word go, with big winks like the opening that echo’s “Night of the Creeps,” to small touches like the sign indicating the direction to the town of Haddonfield. And come on, the hilarious trampoline scene is so “Zombies Ate My Neighbors,” I was admittedly giddy. “Scout’s Guide” has a damn good time as a tribute to horror comedy while also painting a pretty good one and done tale about nerds rising to the occasion to save some lives.

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How The Grinch Stole Christmas (1966)

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It’s hard to imagine a more perfect adaptation of a Dr. Seuss story than the 1966 Chuck Jones feature; perhaps, “The Butter Battle Book.” In either case, I was one of the many children that grew up watching the TV version of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” It’s such a wonderful combination of talents and rich enthusiasm for the source material, that it’s tough to not like it. There’s Boris Karloff, Chuck Jones, and Dr. Seuss, not to mention the perfectly simplistic tale about anti-materialism and the true meaning of Christmas.

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