Dutch (1991)

Posted on December 10, 2015 by Felix Vasquez

Back in 1991, I was a big fan of “Married with Children,” and loved Ed O’Neill. He was raucously funny as the blue collared Al Bundy, whose life was an endless series of misfortunes, so a big screen career seemed only a natural next step. I never caught “Dutch,” however I do fondly remember it as the failed big screen feature of O’Neill’s that became a consistent running joke on his hit sitcom. You can even see a “Dutch” standee during an episode where Al and Peggy are in a video store, promising a free copy for all customers. Oddly enough, “Dutch” isn’t that bad.

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The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987) [Blu-Ray]

Posted on December 9, 2015 by Felix Vasquez

If there is one big flaw that keeps “The Garbage Pail Kids Movie” from being either really bad or really good, is that it’s never quite sure what to make of itself. The tonal imbalance and wildly inconsistent mood keeps the movie bipolar and surreal. It’s too gross for kids, and too tame for adults, so it’s right in the middle of nowhere. “The Garbage Pail Kids Movie” is based on the wildly popular series of stickers that were direct spoofs of the popular eighties franchise The Cabbage Patch Kids. The series of stickers presented buyers with their own disgusting, offensive, and grotesque versions of Cabbage Patch characters, and for many years they were a staple for folks that appreciated humor with a bad taste.

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Northpole: Open for Christmas (2015)

Posted on December 9, 2015 by Felix Vasquez

Yes, primarily Hallmark have used the “Northpole” movies to sell whatever kitschy Christmas ornament they’re touting for the year, but they’ve accidentally built a neat Christmas movie series I want to see more of. Years ago, I would have really loved the adventures of Clementine the Elf, and her quest to restore the Christmas spirit in one unhappy soul. Right now, she’s still a charming Christmas heroine played by the always adorable Bailee Madison. Madison doesn’t even have to do much to look like an Elf, as she’s given pointy ears, and achieves the rest with her wide smile, and large saucer eyes.

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Twenty Years Later, “Toy Story” Still Works As the Beginning of a Saga

Posted on December 8, 2015 by Felix Vasquez

I was lucky enough to be one of the folks that went to see “Toy Story” in theaters back in 1995 when Pixar premiered their newest animated adventure. It was an amazing experience then, and it is still one of the best movie going experiences of my life. Back then, the very notion of a motion picture completely computer animated was absurd and made people gasp in shock, even when Pixar boasted about creating a large realistic world. Just producing Homer Simpson in computer animation for a segment of “The Simpsons” cost a lot of money and took immense man hours, just think of a movie based around the medium. “Toy Story” is gladly not a film you’d expect to be computer animated since Pixar takes great pains to unfold a world that’s charming, magical, and grounded in enough reality to enjoy.

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Batman: The Complete Third Season (DVD)

Posted on December 8, 2015 by Felix Vasquez

I’m no longer sorry I didn’t fork down almost three hundred smackers on the “Batman” series starring Adam West. While the series will always have a place in my heart for being one of the gateways in to my obsession with superheroes, the nostalgia for the show is fuzzy at best. Watching it as five year old, compared to watching it twenty seven years later is a vast difference. I can appreciate the show for its camp and surreal take on Batman, but I can’t argue for its quality. Especially considering that season three is when the writers and producers began scrambling to inject some new blood in to the series. As with most series involving superheroes, you either have to keep thinking of new ideas, or you will dip in ratings and risk repeating yourself.

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Excalibur Kid (1999)

Posted on December 4, 2015 by Felix Vasquez

Yet another iteration of “A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court,” this time around Antony Anderson focuses on what happens when an out of time teen is set to become the king in place of King Arthur. Jason McSkimming gives a tolerable performance as young Zack, a teen who is angry about moving away from his home and longs to be a part of medieval times where honor and evil were easy to tell apart. Or some nonsense like that, I was never sure what he was rambling about. Zack is so anxious to go back in time he wills it thanks to the magic of the evil Morgause.

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The Original Christmas Classics: Anniversary Collector’s Edition [Blu-ray]

Posted on December 3, 2015 by Felix Vasquez

For most fans of Christmas and the holiday season, every year comes with two regular guests: Charlie Brown and Rankin Bass. For folks that love the Rankin Bass stop motion and animation features that feature a wide universe filled with characters like Frosty and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Classic Media unleashes a wonderful box set of some of their best and most aired animated classics that celebrate the spirit of Christmas and the holidays. There are seven specials total, all of which have been celebrated since their release, and they’re given another release on Blu-Ray for the sake of posterity.

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