Blank Check (1994)

Posted on March 18, 2014 by Felix Vasquez

The early to mid-nineties were filled with movies that really wanted some of that sweet “Home Alone” cash, thus many movie studios pumped out their own versions. You could almost call these rip offs but they were given enough of a twist to where they felt original. “Blank Check” only had about a movie’s worth of story to it, but it tried very hard for the “Home Alone” audience, and really was just a mediocre to abysmal kids film that barely made a ripple upon its release. It’s yet another film about a child that drops in to an extraordinary situation and runs afoul hard nosed criminals that eventually confront him and are put through punishment through his own series of gags, quick thinking, and devices.

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Ri¢hie Ri¢h (1994)

Posted on March 17, 2014 by Felix Vasquez

I’d say the reason why Harvey Comics’ adaptation of “Casper” is so great, while the adaptation of “Richie Rich” (or “Ri¢hie Ri¢h”) is so terrible is simple. We can relate to a poor child that lost his life and now lingers as a ghost looking for love. We can’t relate to an obscenely rich child whose life is only difficult because he can’t make friends. “Richie Rich” has always been a one note character filled with really boring jokes, and I’m not too surprised the movie is so terrible and unfunny when all is said and done. It’s not even very appealing to kids. Sure, you can make the argument that it’s every kids fantasy to be rich, but I think “Blank Check” covered that fantasy. Not well, mind you, but it covered it wholesale.

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In the Blood (2014)

Posted on March 11, 2014 by Felix Vasquez

The excellent Gina Carano takes her shot at her own version of “Breakdown,” and “Frantic,” with an action thriller that delivers on all fronts. If you loved Ms. Carano in “Haywire,” you’ll really enjoy the turn Carano takes here. “In the Blood” features a very respectable supporting cast along with Carano, playing a honeymooner with a tortured past who discovers her husband Derek has suddenly disappeared during their Caribbean getaway after a zip lining accident. Has he been kidnapped? Murdered? Is it a ruse from his over protective wealthy family to end the marriage?

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Teen Titans Go!: Mission To Misbehave, Season 1, Part 1 (DVD)

Posted on February 25, 2014 by Felix Vasquez

So someone realized at the Cartoon Network that there was really nothing else they could do with the “Teen Titans.” It was a fantastic show, albeit an acquired taste, but it ended when it had to end. The Titans defeated their biggest foes, there was a huge war, they came out victorious thus it ended its narrative. So someone took out all of the anime, chibi, and goofy comedy from the series, omitted the action, science fiction, and rich characterization, and basically just decided to feed us “Hai Hai Puffy Ami Yumi” all over again, except with the Teen Titans in place of Japanese pop stars. Goody.

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Alien Arsenal (1999)

Posted on February 21, 2014 by Felix Vasquez

Once again David DeCouteau and Charles Band re-invent “Laserblast” for a new audience. The wretched original is once again re-conditioned in to a teen friendly adventure in the vein of “Power Rangers,” and it’s an apparent attempt to market on the audience. The movie is silly and often makes no sense, but I do tend to miss the old days when Full Moon and Charles Band attempted to appeal to children and teenagers. Ralph and cute Tomboy Baxter are nerds in their school, both of whom spend their time riffing on science fiction and being picked on for reasons I have tough time fathoming. Truth be told, they don’t stand out really.

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Sparks (2013)

Posted on February 20, 2014 by Felix Vasquez

For me, “Sparks” was an easy sell. I’m someone who loves serials, and classic pulp heroes that used their fists and fell for dames while fighting crime. Though “Sparks” is obviously an indie production, it garners the spirit of classic pulp heroes through and through. From a murder mystery, hard boiled cops, masked heroes, and the like, “Sparks” is an entertaining throwback to pulp heroes that, while flawed, is still worth a watch. If only for the great cast. Directors Todd Burrows and Christopher Folino leave no stone unturned in their ode to classic forties comic books, even featuring characters that smoke like it’s going out of style.

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RoboCop (2014)

Posted on February 18, 2014 by Felix Vasquez

Truthfully, how much further can Hollywood damage Robocop? I think the hoopla surrounding the Robocop remake was very over the top, if only because Hollywood neutered Robocop years ago. “Robocop” was about a man brutally shot to death whose corpse was resurrected in a metallic casing that allowed him to shoot rapists in the nuts. By the time “Robocop 3” ended, he was a mascot with a cartoon, appearing on lunch boxes, and a PG-13 television series. So truth be told, José Padilha‘s remake doesn’t damage the character any further. The best thing I can say about it is that it’s better than “Robocop 3.”

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