Toy Story 3 (2010)

NSIzU What many are assuming is the final installment in the “Toy Story” franchise (until Disney assigns these characters to a new child protagonist) is an otherwise classy and entertaining finisher to what has been a three part exploration in to childhood and the doldrums of growing up and getting rid of the past. While the child audience has taken great joy in the adventures of Buzz Lightyear and Woody for the last ten years, like every other Pixar production it’s about much more than what’s on the surface. “Toy Story 3” much like its predecessors is about recalling a more innocent time and the relics of our past having to face that they’re just not needed anymore.

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Serenity: Float Out

17163I would have killed to be in the audience of hardcore Browncoats as Wash led the Serenity through a swarm of deadly Reavers and land the ship within an inch of his life only to be impaled and die before our very eyes. I can only imagine the gasps and cries among the women as their favorite character died in a flash. Admittedly the “Firefly/Serenity” graphic novels and one-shots have been mixed. They range from mediocre to just plain abysmal, and leave it to nerd extraordinaire Patton Oswalt to take the reigns of the Whedon Universe and bring it down to its emotional core.

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Mortal Kombat: Rebirth (2010)

4423124_f520At the end of this, I don’t know if I’ll be writing a review for a fan film, a review for a promotional reel for a director shopping around to sell this new vision or just a glorified game promo for an up and coming new game of the “Mortal Kombat” universe, but as someone who played this game religiously, I had to offer up my thoughts. I can only imagine someone sat down in front of a monitor, was watching “The Dark Knight” and said: “We have to take this approach.” And what we inevitably have is a grim and grotesque take on the Mortal Kombat universe.

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Family Guy Presents: Something Something Something Dark Side (2009)

pAheeL1WsqhIBUbesx4Ti9Aoc1XWatching “Something, Something, Something Darkside” is similar watching another episode of “Family Guy.” It’s boring, tedious and so intent on being funny it feels as if it has to point out almost every single joke it posits. “Ahaha, the giant chicken is Boba Fett!” says Peter. Get it? Because the chicken fights with Peter in these long drawn out unfunny fight scenes meant to kill time and hide the fact the show is short on actual story. “I’d give my right hand for this day to end.” Get it? Because Chris is Luke and Luke gets his right hand cut off by Darth. When Luke is hanging from Cloud City, Leia asks Luke to raise his right hand. Get it? Because Chris is Luke and Luke gets his right hand cut off by Darth. “Turn the Ship Around” is played when Leia asks Lando Calrissian to turn the ship around to save Luke. Get it? Because of the disco song. Does any of the target audience even know what Disco music is?

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Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

I was born in 1983, so most of my knowledge about “Star Wars” being something of a magical property at its time was because of my uncle who is a big fan of the series and recalls all the stories about watching the original film and “Empire Strikes Back” in theaters with audiences who managed to garner an amazing experience. These days there is no such thing as a genuinely thrilling experience at movie theaters anymore. “The Empire Strikes Back” is the height of the “Star Wars” trilogy, the movie that told audiences a genuine story and amped up its dramatic tension and suspense considerably by adding more depth to its heroes and even adding much more complexity to its villain Darth Vader by giving him a master to answer to who had large plans for the galaxy under his tyranny. “The Empire Strikes Back” is proof positive that without Lucas’ control, this series was destined to hit major high points that arguably faltered with “Return of the Jedi.”

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Spiderbabe (2003)

SpiderBabeMisty Mundae aka Erin DeWright aka Erin Brown is an underrated performer. I’m a little hesitant to call her an actress, but she is a competent performer worthy of some acclaim if she ever manages to break free from the softcore porn/exploitation genre and approach an actual acting career. If you saw her in the “Masters of Horror” episode “Sick Girl,” she capable of vulnerable sympathetic solid acting. But that’s not to say I don’t love her in what she does. I’ve seen “Playmate of the Apes” where she’s in full on comedy mode leading the charge with a bunch of fake apes going to war, and I enjoyed her in “Lord of the G-Strings” where she engaged in mild girl on girl and petting with some brutally hot fantasy nymphs, so “Spiderbabe” was naturally a treat for me as Mundae explores her comedic talent and her ability to be both grating and charming at the same time.

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Tombstone (1993)

Tombstone-1I remember many years ago before Gene Siskel died where he and his co-host Roger Ebert were mulling the success of “Tombstone” and explained that originally “Tombstone” was not screened for critics. Usually when a movie is not screened early for critics it means the studios have no faith in their film. So what they did was not screen “Tombstone” while they screened “Wyatt Earp” pegging the latter for big success while the former they expected to come and go. The two films arrived in theaters in practically the same time. “Tombstone” became an instant Western classic while “Wyatt Earp” remained a not as widely accepted Western drama in spite of still being generally respected by movie critics around the world starring Oscar bait Kevin Costner. Let’s be honest here though, the reason why “Tombstone” is such a widely revered Western classic is because it’s a pretty stylized and embellished Western actioner.

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