Almost thirty years later, Sammo Hung’s “Wheels on Meals” is still one of the technically proficient martial arts films ever made. It’s just too bad there’s not much to it beyond the martial arts. Primarily it works as a comedy of two men fallen for the same woman whose entire antics are steeped in silent comedy that doesn’t club us over the head with obvious gags. But “Wheels on Meals” is sadly lagging and long in the tooth as an action film that professes mid-way to be nothing more than a romance comedy with martial arts back drops that do nothing to enhance the overall narrative.
Tag Archives: Asian
Mega Monster Battle: Ultra Galaxy Legends – The Movie (2009)
Normally this would be the point in my review where I start off warning that unless you get seizures, “Mega Monster…” might not be the movie for you. But then I grew up watching “Power Rangers” religiously, and played Super Nintendo non-stop so I’m two steps ahead of the game. For folks who have yet to really be exposed to this sort of content, “Mega Monsters” will serve as a pure sensory overload. It’s colorful, loud, bright, vibrant, loud, explosive, loud, incoherent, often times breakneck paced, and did I mention loud?! But seriously, while a film like this has little story, you really have to pay attention to know what’s happening with the narrative and I mean you really have to pay attention.
The Nunsploitation Convent Collection (DVD)
Available in on 2500 Limited Edition Copies, Cult Epics has released the ultimate in nunsploitation double features pairing two of the most iconic nunsploitation films of all time “School of the Holy Beast” and “Behind Convent Calls” together, and attaching a new restoration along with fantastic features for all collectors. “School of the Holy Beast” is the definition of the nunsploitation sub-genre. It’s a wonky, surreal, and demented piece of Asian drama with some of the most memorable moments I’ve ever seen in the Grindhouse motif. Most importantly it has an odd sense of humor that make it worthy of many laughs, but ones that will assuredly be of the uncomfortable sort.
Big Tits Zombie (Kyonyû doragon: Onsen zonbi vs sutorippâ 5) (2010)
Normally I’m not a fan of the Asian horror comedy movies since about half of them are really god awful, but I just couldn’t resist “Big Tits Zombie.” Not only is the title absolutely brilliant, but it has zombies, and I just recently discovered Sola Aoi on the internet, thus I couldn’t pass up a chance to see her fighting zombies and jiggling every which way. The fact remains that if I have to sit through another zombie movie, I should at least watch hot Asian women with gorgeous busts bringing them down. It’s a fair compromise.
Psycho Shark (2009)
At only a little over an hour long, “Psycho Shark” (or as it’s being called in some circles “Jaws in Japan”) is probably one of the zaniest most deliriously bad movies I’ve ever come across mainly for its wacky directing style. Not much in this movie makes sense and director Hijiri John is such a fan of holding takes, that some shots are awkward. Any competent director will cringe at his knack for shooting people only below the waist and at one point holds a shot in the sand for over a minute after his actresses have left the frame. But take my advice, wait a while, be patient because I guarantee you by the second half… absolutely nothing will have happened. Don’t get me wrong, I love movies about frolicking Japanese girls, but if it’s a horror movie only a little bit over an hour, then you have to have some sense of forward progression in plot and this has none of it.
Chainsaw Maid (2007)
Around four months ago I deeply considered reviewing “Chainsaw Maid” for the site mainly because I thought it was so well made. These days I’m almost sorry that I opted out of reviewing “Chainsaw Maid” because it’s become somewhat of a cult hit. How did this happen? The animation is rigid. The claymation basic, and the story is so incredible one note, and yet when all is said and done I’d actually sit and watch a ninety minute live action version of “Chainsaw Maid.” What’s the big deal about this movie? Well, as a person who can’t speak Asian, the director, and writer are basically unknown to me, and there’s a strong character motivation in spite of the fact that there’s zero dialogue.
CJ7 (2008)
I’d like to tell you that “CJ7” is Stephen Chow’s answer to “E.T.” but as we all have come to know, Chow would never be about providing ordinary kids entertainment that we’ve seen before. “CJ7” may have the same formula when you get down to it, but Chow gives his own spin on it and it works. It’s a healthy dose of menace, adult edge, and over the top fantasy that has become a dead art in family films and director Chow takes every chance to flex those elements with his own take on the boy meets alien tale. On the flipside, Chow also tries to tell a genuinely emotional tale about a poor down on their luck and father and son struggling to get by living in a junk yard and eating day old food, while character Dickey’s dad always tries to teach him about life and how there are simply no short cuts. Especially when you’re poor.