The Devil Wears Prada (2006)

devilwaerprada

“The Devil Wears Prada” is yet another film around Oscar time that was just insanely over blown for having some talent on its side, because I can’t see any other reason. As a dramedy it’s just the formula story of a girl who finds her self reaching stardom and abandons her roots. All the while writer Mckenna doesn’t make much of a case to convince us that this relationship Hathaway’s character Andy experiences is worth saving or pivotal enough to cause us to tear up at the prospect of this base tearing down. Adrien Grenier has literally nothing to do here but mope around and bitch about his girlfriend’s career, while Andy is really just a dumb tart really not worth fretting over. She’s a character who never quite reveals any bolder shades of complex emotions beyond superficial issues, which is probably the intent, and when she reaches down into her true roots once again, she’s still just a one note sap.

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Doctor Strange: Sorcerer Supreme (2007) (DVD)

doctor-strange2007For my money, Dr. Strange is probably one of the most uneven characters in the Marvel gallery ever created, while others of his ilk are basically one sided. Spider-Man was too whiny for me, Iron Man was too weak, and Fantastic Four was much too irritating to enjoy, but Dr. Strange is a character with great potential that had a comic series that was as dull as day old bread. Yet, this character‘s appearances in other series were exciting, and his television movie from the seventies was also decent. I just hope the live action adaptation gives me a reason to enjoy the character again. For now, here‘s another direct to DVD Marvel movie, “Doctor Strange: The Sorcerer Supreme,” an unofficial prequel to the movie. “Doctor Strange” is thankfully a step in the right direction, depicting the mythos of Doctor Strange as a murky and dark world filled with eerie sights and demons.

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Dead@17 (2007)

D17posterABased on the comic book by Josh Howard, Mark Steensland’s adaptation of “Dead@17” is a great short that really registered, even if I’ve never read the comic before. I know, it’s a shocker considering I try to grab every horror comic out there, but “Dead@17” is a series I’ve heard about in passing, but never actively sought it out. And thanks to Steensland, that’s all about to change. Steensland depicts a rather interesting world on film, with a short that signals the start of something much bigger afoot.

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Dead Silence: Unrated (2007) (DVD)

Thanks to the advent of “The Twilight Zone,” R.L. Stine’s “Goosebumps,” and many other horrific entities, ventriloquist dummies have managed to become a pretty valid specter of fright all of my life. And thankfully, here comes James Wan to further perpetuate the fear of the ventriloquism in all its delights. “Dead Silence” is a film that wasn’t really an easy sell from the first minute. Surely, it starts off eerily enough, but it doesn’t really pick up until the second half. But what it accomplishes are genuine plot twists that only the boys from “Saw” can truly utilize, and man, are there ever plot twists abound, including one that’s a bit over the top, but truly creepy.

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Deep Throat (1972)

Doctor: Having a clitoris at the bottom of your throat is better than having no clitoris at all.
Linda: That’s easy for you to say! Imagine having your balls on your ears!
Doctor: Well… then I could hear myself cumming!

You know it, you love it, you pretend not to know what it is in front of certain company, it’s “Deep Throat,” a movie that’s become so utterly famous that it’s also helped to define the oral sex technique that’s like average fellatio, but amps it up a notch. I won’t sit here and explain the difference between regular blow jobs, and deep throating, because I know that you know what the actual difference is, no matter how much you deny it in the end. “Deep Throat,” much like “Debbie Does Dallas,” is one of the porn classics that really go beyond its genre. This is a film that’s become a staple of pop culture and really did shake everyone up to their boots for the simple fact that it was a huge hit. And for the fact that the success for the film was less about the film’s quality, and more on the gravitas it brought with it to seedy movie theaters. I mean what’s not to like about it? It’s only an hour long, features hardcore sex scenes, the late great Linda Lovelace, and has a title that pretty much describes the entire plot.

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Debbie Does Dallas (1978)

Let me tell you, its tough reviewing one of the most famous porn movies ever made. Hell, its tough reviewing porn, period. How do you review a porno movie? I can’t really speak on the acting, because hell, it’s a porn movie, there aren’t Oscar winning performances. And the production quality is abysmal. So, how do I go about this, I ask myself. But you’re probably asking why I’m reviewing a porno movie. Well, it’s just because this over-opinionated asshole wanted to throw his three cents in on this classic film. You’ve all heard about it. You know about it, so I thought I’d just give you the lowdown. The reason “Debbie Does Dallas” is such a bonafide classic is simply because it has everything men and women like in a porno. The sex scenes are staged fantasies, the cast is comprised of cheerleaders, and our main character is hot. “Debbie Does Dallas” has a huge history in the film medium. For proof on that, check out “Debbie Does Dallas Uncovered,” and you’ll see what I mean. The reason why “Debbie Does Dallas” was big was because of Bambi Woods. People attribute the success of this film to many things, but I pin it on Bambi Woods. Woods isn’t (or wasn’t, if she’s actually dead) a fox in the strictest sense.

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Disturbia (2007)

disturbia-screening

If you’re willing to ignore all the obvious positions our characters are put in, “Disturbia” will be pretty excellent. I wasn’t willing to ignore all the obvious marks, so I found it to be pretty damn frustrating. Let’s see, there’s our character Kale who is known for being a liar and deceiver, then there’s our mom who is so self-involved, she can’t listen to our hero, and of course a cop who has it out for him who we know will just come in the nick of time to help our hero when in trouble. And then there’s that nasty habit of the film being so utterly derivative. If there was ever going to be a remake of “Rear Window,” you could basically re-title this and not know the difference. “Disturbia” is a pretty cheesy thriller that is never afraid to flaunt that it’s so predictable.

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