Ah that Dracula sure does get around, doesn’t he? He’s met more historical figures than Forrest Gump. In the grand tradition of “Billy the Kid vs. Dracula,” “Emmanuelle vs. Dracula” and “Batman vs. Dracula” comes the lost adventure of two of the world’s most notorious criminals and their confrontation with the lord of darkness. Timothy Friend’s horror crime thriller is in the hokey tradition of absurd battles and there hasn’t been one more absurd since Bonnie and Clyde’s meeting with the undead. Tiffany Shepis stars as Bonnie along Trent Haaga as Clyde in their efforts to thwart off rival criminals and the lawman as they travel across the country. Now down on their luck after a series of unfortunate events leave them penniless and without a car, they meet up with an old friend promising them a big job robbing a local bank.
Tag Archives: Dracula
United Monster Talent Agency (2010)
Spending all of his time providing limbs and blood for directors, Gregory Nicotero is trying his hand behind the camera offering up a sneak peek at his abilities with the short horror comedy “United Monster Talent Agency.” As with many first outings, his is a dedication to the monster movies of old with cameos from some of the greatest monsters as well as cameos from some of the greatest directors (…and Eli Roth), all of which is set to the tune of the classic fifties news reels.
Dracula – Masterpiece Theatre (2007)
It’s a requirement that anyone playing Lucy Westenra should possess a great deal of sexual allure, for the simple fact that it gives logic to Dracula’s hunt on her before going after Mina. And Sophia Myles hands the requirement like a pro. Myles is utterly ravishing in “Dracula” and she’s lusted after, for good reason, throughout much of the film, possessing her usual charm and likable charisma that makes her such a memorable actress. Myles also has a palpable chemistry with Leonidas, who manages to portray the charming innocence with Myles as the blonde siren that eventually gets bitey.
The Batman vs. Dracula (2005)
“The Batman” is one of the only series featuring Batman that hasn’t been animated by the well known and widely accepted form of Bruce Timm’s design, and as a series it’s always been a very poor successor in simple fact that it’s only basically been invented to cash in on “Batman Begins”. The series was created and rushed in to premiere showing on the WB network months before “Batman Begins”. The series as a whole is terrible; it’s bland, lifeless, and often uneventful. “The Batman vs. Dracula” is the first animated film from the Batman franchise that didn’t feature artwork from Bruce Timm et al. But this isn’t the first time Batman and Dracula have crossed paths, any respectable comic fan knows that Batman and Dracula are pure rivals, and this makes the distinct hinting that this is the first time they’ve ever crossed paths.
Vlad (2003)
Imagine “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” mixed with “The Davinci Code”, imagine “Interview with the Vampire” sans the homosexual overtones, imagine “Dracula”, mixed with two Benadryl, a shot of whiskey, and a knock on the head, and you can perfectly sum up what “Vlad” is. This poor man’s “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” that becomes more of a quasi-“The Vlad Code” is a snoozer and a half, as a bunch of people try to dissect the legend of Vlad Tepes, but what sounds like a taut analyses of the legend of a war monger inevitably becomes a murky, utterly mindless, superficial quasi-thriller with people talking a lot and not saying much, characters interacting without chemistry, a lot of discovering Romanian villages without ever involving the audience, and a lot of characters walking around the forest without getting anywhere… and Billy Zane shows up at one point.
Van Helsing (2004)
How do you ruin four of the most timeless, scariest, and three-dimensional horror characters in history? Well, if you’re Stephen Sommers you put them in a special effects-laden piece of trash like this, and then make like a politician and cop -out insisting you’re a fan of these monsters, just to cover your bases and prevent criticism for directing and overseeing this chunk of cinematic sacrilege. The best about the opening of “Van Helsing” in theaters, you ask? Their releases of Universal’s monster classics in boxed sets. Maybe it was sub-conscious guilt on part of Universal for ruining their characters. Van Helsing, my favorite literary hero of all time is resurrected for the hundredth time around ala Bruckheimer motif in this franchise wannabe called “Van Helsing”.
Dracula II: Ascension (2002)
When a coroner brings in a charred body, he and a doctor named Elizabeth discover that the body is that of Dracula. When they get a mysterious offer from a buyer who will offer them millions of dollars for his body, they and a group of college students decide to take it upon themselves to discover what makes Dracula immortal while hoping to extract the evil from within the essence but when Dracula becomes too hot to handle, a mysterious knife wielding priest is on the hunt for them and will stop at nothing to take Dracula down.