Clif Prowse and Derek Lee’s “Afflicted” is a mix of “Innocent Blood,” and Cronenberg’s “The Fly,” with a hefty injection of “Chronicle.” It’s rife with cliches, predictable plot twists, and is about ten minutes too long. But in spite of all of that, I’d definitely suggest “Afflicted” to horror fans. Because while it’s retreaded horror fodder, it’s well directed, tightly edited, and solidly performed horror fodder to say the least. I knew what was coming, but I was also very much invested in the characters. I also really enjoyed the special effects.
Tag Archives: Fantasy
Beanstalk (1994)
Director Michael Davis’ “Beanstalk” has a lot of balls in the air. It wants to squeeze in so many ideas and sub-plots and can never find a proper way to bring them all in to one coherent kids film. There’s a boy named Jack who lives with his mother and discovers large beans that form a humongous beanstalk. Meanwhile, Jack’s mom is going to lose her house, prompting Jack and his mom to go homeless. Meanwhile, there’s a nutty doctor (Margot Kidder is barely recognizable) who believes the mother goose tales to be real, and is preparing to climb the beanstalk, while an evil land developer is planning to knock down the beanstalk, steal Jack’s house, and develop land over the his neighborhood. That’s a lot story, for a movie barely eighty minutes in length!
Knights of Badassdom (2014) [Blu-Ray]
Hopefully someday we’ll be able to see the director’s cut of “Knights of Badassdom” as originally envisioned by Joe Lynch. Truth be told, he’s a very talented director, and I’d be more than willing to watch this again. Anything with Summer Glau gets a free pass by me. In its current state as the Producer’s Cut, “Knights of Badassdom” is still a great horror comedy that takes a bunch of LARPERs and drops them smack dab in the middle of a horrific situation involving a flesh eating demon with the face of a goddess.
Magic Island (1995)
1995’s “Magic Island” from Moonbeam Entertainment is one of the few Charles Band backed kids films I’ve never actually seen. Which is odd, considering I loved Full Moon as a kid, and Zachary Ty Bryan was on one of my favorite TV show of the nineties “Home Improvement.” Like many of the Moonbeam films, “Magic Island” is not a perfect film by any stretch, but you have to appreciate its ambition, flaws and all. A good mixture of “The Neverending Story” and “The Princess Bride,” Sam Irvin’s adventure film is a goofy kids film with enough innocence to warrant good B grade family fare.
JLA Adventures: Trapped in Time (2014)
Because superheroes fighting crime isn’t enough, DC has to water it down even further for some reason. “Trapped in Time” is only a slightly edgier version of “Superfriends” placing the greater emphases on younger Leaguers and superheroes rather than focusing on the actual Justice Leaguers. That Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman are so square, man. They don’t know today’s youth. Now, whiny impulsive Robin? He knows what the youth is about. Running at under an hour in length, and with a pacing that’s breakneck, “Trapped in Time” is kind of a Justice League movie. But then it really isn’t.
Virtual Encounters (1996)
It’s Skinemax time and “Virtual Encounters” is the movie for anyone interested in delightful mediocre mid-nineties porn. As a movie it’s a pretty crummy and boring attempt to add fantasy elements to a genre already built around fantasies. Part of the Surrender Cinema division from Full Moon, “Virtual Encounters” is pseudo-science fiction that basically just features a slew of mildly erotic sex scenes that have no real context to them. They’re just there to get about as much mileage out of the movie before it ends.
Last Action Hero (1993) (DVD)
I know a lot of people argue that “Last Action Hero” was ahead of its time, but I’d wager a bet we’ll likely never see a time where it’d be considered genius. Director John McTiernan matched with Arnold Schwarzenneger bring movie fans an action movie that never knows what it wants to be. It’s too straight faced to be considered satire, too silly to be taken as an action movie, too menacing to be a kids film, and too juvenile for hardcore Schwarzenneger fans. Yes, even more juvenile than “Kindergarten Cop.”Most of “Last Action Hero” can never decide on putting Schwarzenneger’s character in to the background. Considering he’s mostly just a fictional character that young Danny Madigan worships whenever he visits the theaters, it’s jarring the film basically begins on Jack Slater and his adventures.