I really don’t care that Ed Neumeier is behind this. I applaud his history with science fiction cinema and Robocop, but as a sequel and standalone film “Starship Troopers 3” is a terrible film. The satire I can often stomach since it was so much apart of the original film, but the fact that the satire is much too obvious to even call it respectable satire is just much too clumsy at times. “Marauder” is that film in the series many fans were anxious to watch mainly because it’s much more loyal to the novel, but that doesn’t entirely promise entertainment.
Tag Archives: Giant Monsters
Insecticidal (2005)
“Maggoty cannibal girls don’t get dates!”
Bitchy (but hot) Josi is throwing the party of the week at her sorority house, where booze runs heavy and gorgeous women scamper around. The only sister not having fun is her own. Young Cami is a scientist and geeky (but hot) aspiring entomologist who worships bugs and garners her own bug zoo in her room. On a bitchy tirade, Josi storms in to Cami’s room and kills all of her bugs with spray. Unfortunately the spray has counteracted with the chemicals Cami has fed them and now the bugs are alive, the size of Buick’s and ready to munch on some busty party goers!
Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus (2010) (DVD)
Before you write this off, I have two words for you: Jaleel White. Now calm down, before you start jumping up and down screaming in excitement, he’s about the only draw here. If you were around in the nineties. And liked “Family Matters.” And remember who Jaleel White is. No he didn’t play Carlton in “Fresh Prince.” In either case, The Asylum is not intent on implementing brevity for the sake of catching on with their fan base. To prove how unnecessarily lengthy the title is I can still fondly remember showing my dad the DVD and him smiling at the premise of the movie. Twenty minutes later, this man who is known for having a mind like a steel trap and over the course of an hour continued mixing up the title.
Monsters (2010)
Gareth Edwards science fiction horror flick is a grim picture, and one nowhere near intent on offering a positive look on humanity and a new world. What he instead does is spotlight a new world where one side has learned to co-exist with a new breed of creatures that crash landed on Earth, while the more privileged side of the world is so intent on refusing to admit the inevitable that they’ve built possibly the largest wall to separate them from the rest of society. Edwards’ genre offering while essentially a monster movie with carnage and shocks is also a thought provoking piece on society and two views on it looking down at two characters who see more than they ever have in a matter of forty eight hours.
Ice Spiders (2007)
I’m not sure why, but the prospect of watching “Ice Spiders” was intriguing to me. Perhaps it’s because I just enjoy movies with giant monsters, or perhaps because many movies with giant spiders end up a barrel full of laughs, or maybe because I just enjoy cheesy monster movies. “Ice Spiders” really doesn’t take itself too seriously, and that’s a great thing considering the ridiculous plot we’re introduced to. But with all the horrible plot devices against it from minute one, “Ice Spiders” comes out ahead.
Mimic: Sentinel (2003)
What happens when you have a film franchise that’s lacking in almost everything required of a good film? You use a different approach. The “Mimic” series has been nothing but abysmal, and it was only a matter of time before we had a film in the series that tried it from a different perspective. Anyone who sees this will know this is a pure rip off of “Sisters,” front and back. The attempted psychoses, the plot twists, our nosy neighbor and his inevitable discovery. Petty rips shamelessly from the film, and while I came to accept it, it also works against the film’s quality in which the film’s attempted complexities come off as pure conceit and desperate. The film lacks anything nearing an esoteric framework, especially since it involves a giant bug.
Lake Placid 2 (2007)
The original film, “Lake Placid” was possibly one of the crappiest killer animal flicks I’ve ever seen. And I was anxious to see it when it was released. The woefully under-appreciated Bill Pullman was alright, as was Bridget Fonda, but through it all was a horrible script, a cheesy plot, and a simplistic story that bordered on absurd. Nah, we didn’t need a sequel. I know you were about to ask that, right? Does necessity come into play when money comes to mind? Never, you stupid fool. “Lake Placid 2” has one thing going for it. Cloris Leachman, and then you wonder how the hell they wrangled her into this. This woman is a comedy legend, what the hell did they do to grab her? A bribe perhaps? Blackmail? A blood oath made with Satan? Poor Cloris Leachman.