Tag Archives: H

History of the Eagles (2013)

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For the Eagles it was a risky venture breaking out from the shadows of Linda Rondstadt. For a time they were her back up group, and were going to stay that way. That is, until they decided that they had much more to offer the music world than back up vocals for someone as amazing as Rondstadt. In the end, standing up for themselves and breaking apart from Linda Rondstadt proved an incredible but successful risk for the group. Unlike the Pips, they managed to show the world they were much more than back up vocals. For many years they had to show everyone that they were a true rock band, a true group of artists and truly contributors to the mythos of classic rock much like The Who and Led Zeppelin.

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Hell's Belles (2013)

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Director Christian Anderson’s short horror film is a short I hope turns in to a feature film. I intend to buy it. And re-watch it. Every time I think there can’t be any new material mined from the horror hero gamut, someone always surprises me. “Hell’s Belles” is a fantastic short horror film about two ghost fighting babes named Adria and Helena.

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Hostel: Part III (2011)

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imagesIt’s not like I’m disappointed or anything. I mean, I’m shocked they managed to somehow take a one note ridiculous concept like “Hostel” and turn it in to one whole movie, let alone two. And now they decided to create a third film that attempts to flip the coin on the premise and fails spectacularly. “Hostel Part III” is a mind numbing, cheap, despicable little mess of a horror film, the last release of excess gas on the festering corpse of the torture porn fad that attempts to build on the hollow premise of the first film.

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Hypothermia (2010)

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AAAAphoto_57_251This is almost like “The Creature from the Black Lagoon” if conceived by Jim Jarmusch and directed by Larry Fessenden. The film attempts to put up a pretence that it’s saving the monster shots for the big finale, but in reality you can almost feel the director concealing the monster for the fact that it’s not a very menacing creature, when all is said and done.

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Hansel & Gretel (2013)

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123123123The rationale behind the villain Lilith in “Hansel and Gretel” makes no sense. She traps Hansel and Gretel in a bear trap and lures them to her house, she feeds Hansel a meat pie, and traps him in her basement to make him in to her pie, and then asks Gretel to take control of the shop and run it for her, in spite of the fact she’s about to turn her brother in to a meat pastry. She then gets angry when Gretel refuses? Turning her relative in to food is not exactly incentive for her to stay and help you in the shop. And did she continue to intend turning kids in to meat pies if Gretel took hold of the shop?

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The Hourglass Figure (2012)

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hourglassIn terms of plot, “The Hourglass Figure” really isn’t anything I haven’t seen before. It feels like a re-iteration of the Twilight Zone story “A Special Kind of Stopwatch” later remade in the eighties with a domestic twist called “A Little Peace and Quiet.” The premises are basically the same in tone and emotion. A busy and over worked house wife finds that she can get the quick fix to peace, quiet, and rejuvenation with a supernatural time stopping device.

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Hold Your Breath (2012)

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hybJust think: Someone at the Asylum offices dug through their piles of Chinese food menus and eventually found the script for “Hold Your Breath” (I’m not including the superfluous hashtag) tucked away. And someone read it thinking this would be the perfect theatrical debut for an Asylum movie. In reality, “Hold Your Breath” should just be another Asylum clunker on DVD, but it warrants a theatrical debut by virtue of the fact that it has minor horror starlet Katrina Bowden attached.

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