Tag Archives: Horror

Murder University (2012) (DVD)

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MurderUniversityIt’s surprising and awkward that “Murder University” seems to feel like two really different movies. It almost feels like director Richard Griffin almost wanted to make a dark comedy about a loser in college, set to a pseudo-eighties vibe. And then somewhere along the line, director Griffin—or someone—had the bright idea to transform the entire narrative in to long in the tooth slasher about cults, devil masks, and a painfully stupid police officer. I mean, you can’t help but feeling like the horror was tacked on, when the actual horror element of the narrative takes twenty five minutes to be introduced.

Nothing about the movie is focused or completely developed, and most of the sub-plots are either half developed, or end on an abrupt note. I’d love to know why director Richard Griffin just completely abandons the film in the beginning and just runs on auto-pilot with an inconsistent film. There’s an opening that somewhat establishes the fact that we’re not only entering a horror film, but one with a ton of back story. Then there’s the really groovy theme song seemingly pulled out of the eighties. How does a movie with its own theme song a la the 1980’s suddenly feel so generic? Even the title could really jump off the screen, but is instead turned in to nothing but a stock summary of what the narrative entails. It’s a slasher set in a college. That’s about it.

It’s not enough to build a semblance of an eighties motif, along with a theme song, you really have to carry it until the end of the film, and Griffin can’t seem to figure out how to exploit the aesthetic for a nostalgic slasher film. Thus the movie seems to love the eighties, but damned if it ever feels like we’re actually in the decade. When the eighties devices are quickly abandoned, “Murder University” devotes itself to being a pretty stock college dramedy with a slasher backdrop. For reasons I can’t ever figure out, Josh is a new student at Greensboro College who happens to be beaten and picked on by just about everyone. Even during a wet T shirt competition, he’s beaten up by the boyfriend of a contestant despite everyone in the audience ogling said woman.

The whys of being such a perpetual punching bag only seem to be included to move the story along. Conveniently Josh ends up at a college that happens to be the grounds for a series of ritual axe murders, and no one seems to be interested in evacuating the grounds, or staging police officers in various parts of the campus. After a run in with the murderers, Josh survives and agrees to team up with a detective and his pretty daughter to infiltrate the campus and draw out the killers. The hows and whys of this plan are never fully verified, but not much of “Murder University” makes a lot of sense. For all intents and purposes, Jamie Dufault is entertaining as character Josh, director Griffin just can never muster any kind of tension or suspense.

The editing leaves much to be desired, the performances are abysmal, and the axe murders so shoddily staged, they’re distracting. At one point, an innocent bystander gets her head chopped off as the killer obviously just taps a really bad mannequin double prompting the fake head to plop to the floor. In the end, “Murder University” is a forgettable sub-genre hybrid with nowhere to go with the actual sub-genres.

Abbott and Costello Meet Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1953)

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It’s pretty crummy that Abbott and Costello don’t get to do much with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. In fact you have them in a movie with Boris Karloff who doesn’t get to do much to spook them beyond his monster mask, and you have the pair of knuckleheads that almost play second banana in their own movie. In fact, they don’t really show up until twenty minutes in to the movie, and their entrance smacks of sloppiness and lack of ideas. The pair should have memorable introductions, and yet here their characters Tubby and Slim are only in the story by circumstance.

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Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer, Boris Karloff (1949)

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In this follow up to “Meet Frankenstein,” Abbott and Costello don’t so much meet Boris Karloff, as they do a character Karloff plays named Swami Talpur. I still think the potential for Abbott and Costello meeting Karloff is potential never realized, and that’s pretty sad. Karloff only plays a side character, and appears for a few scenes, including an extended bit with character Freddie Phillips (Lou Costello) that’s still hilarious, at least. You don’t often see someone’s sheer idiocy save their lives, but you have to love how Freddie avoids all forms of vicious death by his slow wittedness.

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Earth vs. the Spider (2001)

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earthvsspider2001Director Scott Ziehl’s “Earth vs. The Spider” is an often overlooked and extremely obscure film, and for good reason. It’s a relative rip-off of David Cronenberg’s “The Fly,” and let’s face it: There’s no reason to call this movie “Earth vs. The Spider” at all. I fondly remember this being featured on Cinemax here in America in a Stan Winston horror movie showcase. His company rehashed American International Pictures films, but in name only. As is the case with “Earth vs. The Spider,” which isn’t a masterpiece, but isn’t bad for a hokey shamelessly derivative monster movie.

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Exists (2014)

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For audiences that didn’t appreciate the year’s more subtle anti-found footage film “Willow Creek,” director Eduardo Sanchez offers a more action packed and frightening alternative involving the mythical monster. “Exists” is a creepy and vicious found footage horror film with a surprising amount of heart and depth to it, to boot. Surprisingly, director Sanchez works around the found footage gimmick, supplying a score and editing that make the film neater and less like actually found footage. This may irk hardcore enthusiasts of the sub-genre, but it’s a welcome change of pace from the typical format. Especially since Sanchez runs the risks of repeating the same beats from “Blair Witch.”

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Hard to Die (1990)

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hardtodie1990What Jim Wynorski’s “Hard to Die” has in common with “Die Hard” is that it features a high rise. And that’s about it. But I don’t blame it for being so shameless in exploiting the aforementioned action film, when “Hard to Die” is purposely exploitative and shameless to begin with. 1990’s “Hard to Die” also known as “Tower of Terror” and “Sorority House Massacre 3” is seventy minutes (Well if you cut out the montage from “Slumber Party Massacre,” the film is a cool hour) of goofy ridiculous fun intended to mock the horror genre at every turn. It’s a horror movie, a comedy, a slasher, a demon possession film, and a softcore porn romp all in one. And damn it, it’s still a lot of fun.

There’s really not much to say about “Hard to Die” except that its narrative is nothing but a hodge podge of plot elements mashed together for the sole purpose of featuring our buxom cast run around in lingerie. A group of gorgeous busty women working in a lingerie shop have to pull an all nighter sorting out stock for their sleazy boss. They’re also easily startled by the building janitor Orville, as played by Peter Spellos. He survived the previous confrontations from the past “Sorority House Massacre” movies and is still suspected of murdering the poor girls. Deciding to pass the time, they put on lingerie and scamper around, all the while taking showers together, bouncing and jiggling and making pretty funny jokes that reference previous scenes.

When a pizza delivery girl is called up to the building through the elevator, the mysterious killer of the movie sets her ablaze. Cut to one of the characters moaning “Where’s the girl with the food already? It’ll be char broiled when she gets here.” Yes, it’s that kind of movie. While “Hard to Die” is a loose sequel it’s also very much a horror comedy that spoofs all of the eighties film tropes, right down to the action flicks. Suffice it to say if that isn’t enough, the girls accidentally receive a package in the form of a locked box that unleashes a demonic spirit. When released, the murdering begins as someone is knocking off the buxom troop. Could it be Orville? Or could it be someone entirely unexpected?

For a movie that doesn’t require much in the way of acting ability, the cast of gorgeous women pull off their performances well, and Peter Spellos is very good as the enigmatic Orville. “Hard to Die” has a narrative that’s just absolute nonsense, but I enjoy how it seems aware of that, and uses it to deliver a hilarious and entertaining horror comedy. When the girls happen upon a gun store in their high rise, and one of the characters justifies being able to inexplicably handle a machine gun like a pro by declaring “My dad was a marine!” you just have to laugh and enjoy the ride.

Almost Human (2014) [Blu-Ray]

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Sometimes shocking simplicity is all you really need to give audiences a good scare here and there. With a noticeable low budget, director Joe Begos doesn’t aspire to deliver anything more than a gruesome alien horror film while also sticking to the basics of what makes a good horror movie work. “Almost Human” is a very well made horror science fiction movie in the vein of “The Thing” and “Xtro.” It works within a limited budget and still delivers a pretty eerie and tense, albeit flawed, horror entry. If you can forgive the obvious nods and winks to films like “Invasion of the Body Snatchers,” and “The Terminator,” you’re in for a good time.

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