Based on the actual Nazi Ilse Koch, “Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS,” takes the actual person Ilse Koch who tortured prisoners and collected skin from the prisoners who had tattoos, and turns it into a rather shameless exploitation film. Let’s be honest, this is mostly just pornography with a plot, and yet I was lost in its story. The actual Ilse Koch was a lowlife dog, a monster fit to be hanged and pelted with rocks. She was an inhuman jellyfish who took great pleasure in tormenting the poor prisoners, while this film is really just porn. And, I’m not begrudging it for that. This is a capsule of its time. Period.
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Ice Spiders (2007)
I’m not sure why, but the prospect of watching “Ice Spiders” was intriguing to me. Perhaps it’s because I just enjoy movies with giant monsters, or perhaps because many movies with giant spiders end up a barrel full of laughs, or maybe because I just enjoy cheesy monster movies. “Ice Spiders” really doesn’t take itself too seriously, and that’s a great thing considering the ridiculous plot we’re introduced to. But with all the horrible plot devices against it from minute one, “Ice Spiders” comes out ahead.
Ilsa the Tigress of Siberia (1977)
Ilsa and the great Dyanne Thorne are at it once again, this time in the sub-zero wastelands of Siberia. Ilsa is once again untouched and hardly a day old from her time as a World War II concentration camp owner, and grooming harem girls. Now, with LaFleur’s often sloppy direction, she helps run a labor camp in the forests of Siberia teamed with a group of violent soldiers, a cannibal tiger, and plenty of snow. Ilsa is once again the devil in sheep’s clothing, the egomaniacal merciless monster that dispenses of men in her own ways. She bashes their heads in, lets them be eaten alive by her pet tiger, and uses them as toys leaving them in the snow to freeze to death. Unlike “Haremkeeper for the Oil Shieks,” this sequel is a much better entry.
I Spit on Your Grave (Day of the Woman) (1978)
Camille Keaton. What more is there to say about this woman? She’s so gorgeous, that I bet her feces smells like roses on freshly cut grass during the Spring. The statuesque and awfully beautiful Keaton is one of the highlights of the awfully gruesome “I Spit on Your Grave.” A film generally reviled, and yet so beloved among the great portion of movie lovers, this B revenge flick is a man hating saga before a slew of unofficial remakes stormed theaters in the 80’s. You have to appreciate a movie so reviled for doing what it set out to do, which is likely why many audiences are still offended by its cinematic offerings of a simplistic story of a woman being victimized and seeking vengeance, even to this day.
We sit there watching this woman be victimized almost endlessly, and after a while we want to seek pure revenge. That seems to be the general intent from director Zarchi. He draws out the pure horror for this character and brings the audience in at eye level. Hill is victimized and harassed, and chased, and raped, and raped, and raped some more. And it becomes utterly grueling to sit through. What did she do to deserve it? Nothing. She’s merely a victim of a series of senseless crimes, and she’s alone in this town. Why should you watch this? Curiosity, perhaps, experimentation, and experiencing what is, whether some like it or not, a cinematic zeitgeist of grind house filmmaking, and pure filmmaking in general. There’s simply nothing more to the plot than what can be described in two sentences.
An author vacationing at a local friend’s house to work on her book is attacked and raped by five men. Surviving, she appears two weeks later, and proceeds to kill them in a fit of bloody revenge. There’s simply nothing more to it. But what Marchi offers in this film is much more than dialogue or complexities can offer. It just visits a heinous and utterly senseless crime that seemed to almost be a sub-conscious word of warning to sexual freedom. This is a film that appeared subsequent to the feminist movement, and the free love era, and Hill seems to embody this attitude while being ravaged by the small town psychos who simply take that to their advantage.
Hill lies wide open, swims, and even lies on a boat in the river, and the group of men that watch and wait, make her pay for it. And many will say “She didn’t deserve this attack,” but Marchi seems to offer the notion that Hill may not have deserved it, but she sure was offering meat to the lions, whether she knew it or not. And she shows a woman’s wrath in ways that are still shocking. I mean, I guarantee you’ll re-consider getting into a hot bath with a woman after seeing what happens to the group leader Johnny. You really will. Women will cringe, men will cringe and instinctively cup their better half. Even decades later, the film still retains its shock factor and sheer gasp inducing imagery, and that’s an accomplishment. Keaton’s performance is rather fantastic and I stick to that notion.
Her rape is something that will be remembered for days on end, after viewing this. She screams, she suffers, and in one scene shambles home holding her arms up in sheer disgust at her violated, torn body. And once she seeks revenge, she hits the deep end and never comes back from it. “I Spit on You Grave” is not a film I’d normally enjoy: Man-hating cinema. But, it offers something that was genuine in its time, and it’s a classic that should be seen. In spite of the repetitiveness it gets caught in the halfway mark, “I Spit on Your Grave” is still an effective and shocking bit of revenge cinema with Camille Keaton burning herself into my brain as this gorgeous woman who becomes a stone cold punisher on the monsters who ravaged her.
In 1980 Roger Ebert described this as “A movie so sick, reprehensible and contemptible that I can hardly believe it’s playing in respectable theaters,” along with an obvious mortified declaration of: “There is no reason to see this movie except to be entertained by the sight of sadism and suffering.” It’s not surprising many folks consider this utter putrid, but “I Spit on Your Grave” should be looked on as a completely different sort of revenge film. It’s one that not only inspires such hatred from its heroine/victim Jennifer Hill, but it manages to inspire pure hatred from its audience. And it’s not surprising that many who defend it seem to suffer a harsh scrutiny, because I’ve found many seem to share Ebert’s thought process.
You can argue the film is sick, but you also have to admit it’s a very powerful rape and revenge thriller that set the standard and still compels, whether it’s through offending or mesmerizing its audience.
The Invincible Iron Man (2007)

You have to give it to Marvel Comics. While DC refuses to allow certain freedoms to separate properties of their characters for fear of “confusing fans” and undermining our intelligence, Marvel Comics openly allows their characters to be portrayed in different mediums. Even with a big budget film adaptation in the works, with Robert Downey Jr. starring, and John Favreau directing, they still allow this animated adaptation to be released to fans. Because, we can tell the difference. We just can. We’re not as dumb as WB and DC perceives us to be. One of the better improvements upon the Iron man animated film is that it bears no real connection to the previous “Ultimate Avengers” series of films. Meanwhile, the story of Tony Stark and Rhodey is played with a level of espionage and suspense of your typical spy film, shying away from any sort of camp. Here Stark is hardly ever referred to as Iron Man, and the character is more of a presence, and less a superhero.
Inside Man (2006)
At this point in his career, I think I’d pay to see Clive Owen introduce host an episode of “The Price is Right,” only because god damn the man is just so freaking talented. I’m a huge fan of Owen, and starring in a Spike Lee joint was no exception to seeking him out. The guy could say Superman was gay, and I’d sit there in awe at his delivery. My disdain for about ninety-percent of Spike Lee’s films not withstanding, “Inside Man” was a film I intended to watch. And happily, I wasn’t disappointed. Almost like Vietnam flashbacks coming back to me, “Inside Man” reminded me of one of my favorite thrillers “The Taking of Pelham One Two Three.”
I Ran Out of Paper…

By Trevor Gentry Birnbaum


