Tag Archives: Kids

Prehysteria! 2 (1994)

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Like every studio, Moonbeam and Charles Band were seeking their fortune with their own version of “Home Alone” that would bring in the big bucks. With sub-par efforts like “Remote,” there was also the “Prehysteria!” movies which always featured the owners of a foursome of miniature dinosaurs battling evil grown ups of some kind. Set immediately after the original, the foursome of dinosaurs now live with their new family The Taylors in the green house. Seeking to have their chance to feast on the family’s large crop of raisins, they’re accidentally scooped in to a large crate and sent off for shipping by local farmers. Luckily, they’re discovered by bratty but lonely rich boy Brendan, who befriends the miniature dinosaurs, and tries to keep them a secret from his mean house keeper Miss Whitney.

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Josh Kirby… Time Warrior: Chapter 1, Planet of the Dino-Knights (1995)

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Watching “Josh Kirby” is like watching a lost series from the Action Pack stunt from television in 1995, where you almost expect it to air alongside “Hercules.” in truth, the series of six films unfolds like one short kids television adventure series, and even for a movie aimed at kids, it’s hard to catch up. There’s so much about this universe, that the movie opens with a five minute montage of scenes from the movie that’s somehow meant to keep us up to speed with what we haven’t seen yet. Really, it feels like filler and an odd place to place such a device when it’d be suited more appropriately for the second part of the film series.

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Hotel Transylvania 2 (2015)

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The sequel to Genndy Tartakovsky’s entertaining “Hotel Transylvania” is what I’d define as blatant cash grab. It’s a follow up with a very typical and broadly written turn of events, what narrative it offers for the follow up is slim and often times nowhere to be found, all the while the sequel as a whole feels like a glorified pilot for the inevitable “Hotel Transylvania” TV show. I almost expect an announcement after the initial sales for the home video release about a TV show coming down the pipe. The movie essentially sets up characters for a TV series, and it’s barely competent as a sequel. Of course rather than focus on the dynamic between Mavis and new husband Johnny, we now view them as parents.

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The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar

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With “The Lion Guard,” you have to keep telling yourself, it’s mainly a show for the kids, and you might be able to forgive some of the mistakes it makes. While it does make the wise choice of somewhat ignoring the lackluster sequels to “The Lion King,” it also adds unnecessary dimension to what was already a complex animated movie. Since the series “The Lion Guard” is touted for kids, I doubt Disney will do much to patch up continuity problems, so you have to decide if you want to acknowledge “The Lion Guard.” This time around, “The Lion Guard” is set somewhere during Simba’s reign and obviously before “The Lion King 2.” As a matter of fact, “The Lion Guard” essentially ignores “Simba’s Pride,” altogether.

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The Peanuts Movie (2015)

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I wish Hollywood would display this much respect and restraint with Dr. Seuss as they have with Charles Shulz. As a hardcore fan of Peanuts, I was initially very weary about how the series would be treated for a more mainstream modern audience. Thankfully my fears were laid to rest watching “The Peanuts Movie,” which isn’t just an adaptation of the original series, but is also a love letter to boot. Fans of the series will love how Steve Martino treats Charlie Brown and his world, opting for a wholesome respectful film, rather than ramming in pop culture references, and a sugary pop soundtrack. There’s nothing remotely cloying or obnoxious about “The Peanuts Movie,” and the new animation format even works in the series favor.

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Pan (2015) [Blu-Ray/DVD/Digital]

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Another in a line of 2015 films I really wanted to love, “Pan” left me bored, and asking did we really need a prequel? Did we really need to end the movie on Peter and Captain Hook giving one another uncomfortable glances knowing soon they’d become deadly nemeses? Why is Captain Hook called Hook if he doesn’t even have a Hook? Why is Tiger Lily played by a Lily White Actress? Hey, at least Hollywood keeps giving consistently flat Rooney Mara jobs, and turns Tiger Lily in to the heroine of a movie that’s supposed to be about Peter Pan. Or is he Peter who is a Pan? Or is he a Pan Warrior Named Peter?

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5 Reasons why I’d Rather Be in “The Monster Squad” than “The Goonies”

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“The Goonies” turn thirty this year, which marks a fun anniversary of one of the most iconic family films of the 1980’s. To this day, the film is considered a masterpiece by many, even brandishing its own sequel coming very soon. I figured why not celebrate “The Goonies” by undermining its legacy and praising its knock off “The Monster Squad,” instead? Ain’t I a stinker? I’ll be honest, while “The Goonies” is a very good movie, at the end of the day I’d rather watch Fred Dekker’s “The Monster Squad.”

It’s harder edged, it’s much more entertaining, has more imagination, and it holds up against the rose colored glasses of nostalgia. Goonies never say die, but The Monster Squad kills the fuck out of monsters and bad guys. Here are five Reasons why I’d rather be in “The Monster Squad” than “The Goonies.”

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