Tag Archives: Martial Arts

Sidekicks (1992)

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Sidekicks (1992)

In a movie directed by Aaron Norris, younger brother of Chuck Norris comes “Sidekicks,” a movie about Chuck Norris, co-starring Chuck Norris who plays none other than Chuck Norris. Did I mention Chuck Norris is God? “Sidekicks” is one of the many goofy “Karate Kid” knock offs of the nineties, where Chuck Norris is given a virtual platform to show everyone in America how utterly amazing he is. So amazing is he, he even stars in a young man’s homoerotic fantasies so frequently, it borders on creepy. Bow to Chuck Norris’s Norrisness.

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The Wolverine (2013)

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Man, Wolverine is a boring character. Never has that been made more apparent than in “The Wolverine.” Hugh Jackman plays Wolverine with the personality of a waffle, and rather than playing the character as a man in his element, like in the comics, Wolverine is a fish out of water. He can’t speak Japanese, nor can he understand it. So he needs a Japanese character to hover around him lest he become trapped in a hilarious misunderstanding. Like the scene where he’s being scrubbed by a group of bath women.

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The Bourne Legacy (2012)

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I wouldn’t say that “The Bourne Legacy” is a bad movie. As a sequel, or spin off, it works as an interesting diversion, and has a unique concept. Treadstone perhaps wasn’t the only test subject, and now we’re faced with the potential of others out there fighting for their lives when the government decides to burn the entire house down and murder their subjects. Jeremy Renner has proven to be a charismatic action hero, and “The Bourne Legacy” is altogether a fine movie, in the end. And that’s the problem. It’s just fine. The first three “Bourne” movies were incredible.

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Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters: The Complete Series (DVD)

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It’s almost as if someone saw “Power Rangers” and how much money it was making and wrote a check for a hundred thousand dollars. They then told producers to raid every single prop and costume store in Los Angeles, as well as every left over prop in the nearest studio warehouse. From there, they had to cobble together their own “Power Rangers” show. What we inevitably got was “Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters from Beverly Hills.” Even the title screams “We made this shit up in a terrible time crunch.”

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Bounty Killer (2013) (DVD)

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The best action movie released all year, “Bounty Killer,” finally comes to DVD and Blu-Ray, as director Henry Saine delivers action fans a pulpy apocalyptic thriller worthy of a large fan base. “Bounty Killer” is set in the future where corporations are now enemy number one and have laid waste to civilization with their greed. The government has sent a slew of skilled and crafty bounty killers to hunt down and take down corporate executives daring to run away with their corporation’s profits.

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Pacific Rim (2013) [Blu-ray]

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Though we may never get to see director Guillermo Del Toro’s vision of “At the Mountains of Madness,” that doesn’t mean “Pacific Rim” isn’t without its Lovecraftian influences. There’s the deep sea monsters, the beings from another dimension, giant tentacled beings, and the implications of something bigger to come. “Pacific Rim” is set in a world where kaiju are a natural phenomenon and the world is built around the constant threat of attacks from giant beasts that didn’t come from the sky, but instead the bottom of the sea through an inter dimensional rift.

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From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

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 Not surprisingly, when long time film making pals Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez teamed up to make a horror movie, in the end it felt like two different movies. For folks unaware of the duo’s style of writing and film making, the second half will completely blow away anyone entrenched in the crime drama that is the first half of the film. “From Dusk Till Dawn” begins like a hyper violent take off of “Reservoir Dogs.” Seth Gecko and his brother Richie have broken out of jail leaving a trail of bodies behind, and are now hiding out in a gas station. Just their luck a sheriff comes in to chat with the owner, and thanks to a series of mishaps, Seth and Richie leave the gas station and its workers dead in a hail of gunfire and flames.

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