Appleseed (Appurushîdo) (2004)

Aramaki’s “Appleseed” has the distinction of being one of the better animated films I’ve ever seen simply because of its amazing animation and landscapes. For those who can find no true plot aspects, they can at least marvel at the beautiful animation. In essence, “Appleseed” is technically astounding with wonderful landscapes and creative mixing of mythology and technology. “Appleseed” should be seen for the marvels it accomplishes. I don’t know, I don’t like to watch an animated film feeling as if I’m actually watching a video game. I don’t like video games, and the sneaking suspicion that I’m watching a video game sequence drawn out into a two hour film really irks my gurken. “Appleseed” is basically all style and zero substance, and it’s a techno pop video game/music video.

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The Island (2005)

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It was no surprise to me that “The Island” was dumb. It was idiotic, it was ludicrous, it was moronic, and it was every other homonym for the word stupid I can think of. It’s Michael Bay for crying out loud. I was actually looking forward to Bay’s most recent shit pile, only because it seemed to have an original concept to it, but man, whatever potential this has to be a story about life, and exploring the world beyond what we’re presented with is thrown out the window thirty minutes in, when it becomes a typical stunt show.

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Zathura: A Space Adventure (2005)

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I was not a fan of “Jumanji.” Beyond the great special effects it was a rather boring, and confusing lollapalooza with sub-par performances, and a cheesy ending. So when the unofficial sequel “Zathura” arrived in theaters, suffice it to say my skepticism was tantamount to my skepticism of “Sharkboy and Lavagirl.” It looked well intentioned but basically looked like an empty spectacle. In a world filled with “Hoot,” “Sharkboy and Lavagirl,” and “Sleepover” which are the considered the crème de la crème of children’s fare, “Zathura” is a welcome change of pace. It doesn’t talk down its audience, it doesn’t paint clichés, it doesn’t insult our intelligence, and its entertainment is enjoyable for both adults and children. That’s rare.

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A Sound of Thunder (2005)

A-sound-of-thunder-pic1At the start of “A Sound of Thunder,” One was that the quality was on par to an average stinker on the Sci Fi Channel, and the other was that there couldn’t possibly be that much truth to the suckiness of said film. At the start, our heroes are on prehistoric terrain and in enters a dinosaur; a dinosaur that is really intent on eating them. The whole time I watch this, I’m thinking to myself “This couldn’t be the special effects, they must be in a simulator” which is usually the case in films in which we think one scenario is actual distress, and it ends up being a complete red herring.

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Kraken: Tentacles of the Deep (2006)

It’s almost like watching teenagers act out “The Deep” on a student theater stage somewhere, because in the end, “Kraken” is basically just that. It’s a very low rent and C grade variation of “The Deep,” minus the compelling story, and wonderful characterization. And oh yes, there’s the small case of the acting and lack thereof. This low rent thief stars two people whom will garner two reactions from you. One will be “Who?” while the other will be “O-h-h-h-h-h… who?” Victoria Pratt, or as I call her “The hot chick from the crappy X-men show,” stars in “Kraken” as a marine biologist looking for an underwater treasure. Stop me, if you’ve heard this one.

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Sky High (2005)

tEHvtdGUKiWtELUNYF9aHJ1p6kTI’m a sucker for a good tale about superheroes and the learning of their abilities and so on. I admit that. I love a good superhero tale, and that’s why I didn’t completely dislike “Sky High,” because beneath its Disney muck, it’s actually a pretty fun tale about living up to your parents and the pressures of it. Michael Angarano is Will, the only son of a suburban couple who happen to be the world’s strongest superheroes. Ahem—they met during a battle and fell in love, and now are a team. “The Incredibles,” you say? Well, yes, but I just plain enjoyed Kurt Russell as a somewhat demented working class father who encourages his son to take up the family business. “Sky High” is busy, it’s colorful, and it will keep its target audience watching with a smile.

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Heroes

k0c9djYWe all know what happens to episodic high concept television shows. Right “Threshold,” “Invasion,” “Jack & Bobby,” “Surface,” and “Push, Nevada”? And audiences aren’t essentially welcoming to shows with interesting concepts, and storylines, and brains. “Heroes” is one of those shows. It’s episodic, it’s high concept, potentially one-note, and hopefully will be greeted with high ratings.  But the previous effort from NBC with a show featuring disconnected characters experiencing an occurrence, tanked, and “Heroes” can suffer the very same fate.

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