Tag Archives: Slasher

The Bates Haunting (2012)

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I’m sure Byron Turk thought the Bates Motel and Haunted Hayride was amazing, so setting a horror film in and around it would be amazing. It wasn’t. It was also likely going to be a good opportunity to promote the ride. Originally titled “Welcome to the Bates Motel,” the movie gives audiences the impression it has something to do with “Psycho,” when it really doesn’t. The owner of the haunted hayride is named Randy Bates, but that’s as far as it goes. Really, the only reason you’d be interested in seeing this is if you’re a “Jackass” fan. Bam Margera has a five second cameo for a commercial for the attraction, while the late hilarious Ryan Dunn plays an angry customer ordering a pizza. Beyond that, the tagline for the film “Some Things are Best Left Alone” should serve as instructions for anyone looking to rent this title.

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Child’s Play (1988)

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You would think a horror movie about a killer doll would age after so many years. And you’d be correct. “Child’s Play” while not the worst movie ever made, certainly has lost much of its impact since its initial release. It’s not a horrifying movie by any means, but it’s not the worst of the killer doll sub-genre I’ve ever seen. Chucky may not be the Zuni Fetish Doll from “Trilogy of Terror” but he’s a charming horror character you love to hate.

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Crystal Lake Memories: The Complete History Of Friday The 13th (Blu-ray + DVD Combo)

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The team of 1428 Films is at it again, and this time they’re giving Jason Voorhees, the man behind the mask, his due. If folks loved “Never Sleep Again” and it’s extended run time, you’ll be glad to find out that “Crystal Lake Memories” is an exhaustive and lengthy documentary running almost seven hours. This allows for funny, wry, and honest looks in to every single installment of the series. Including the remake. With narration by series star Corey Feldman, “Crystal Lake Memories” traces the series back to when “Friday the 13th” began life as a low budget production at half a million dollars. Thanks to the introduction of Wes Craven’s “Last House on the Left” along with John Carpenter’s iconic “Halloween,” the creators set out to make their own mark with a holiday themed horror film.

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Halloween (1978) (35th Anniversary Edition) [Blu-ray]

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Compared to other John Carpenter films, “Halloween” demonstrates an amazing amount of restraint for the director. Which is not to say the chaotic elements of “The Thing” and “Assault on Precinct 13” aren’t amazing, but Carpenter displays a surprising competence for pulling back as he does with unleashing hell on a slew of characters. Like many of Carpenter’s films, “Halloween” is also relegated to a limited setting, where the slasher tropes for hundreds of other slasher films would be built. There’s a small town, a curse, a crime that resonates within the community, and a virginal final girl who would stand off against the monster.

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Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

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It’s Jason vs. the eighties version of Carrie White. Because… why the hell not, right? At this point the Paramount series had just about run out of ideas for characters. Tommy Jarvis imprisoned Jason in his underwater chamber doomed to float for all eternity, and there was really nowhere left to go from here. It’s almost like the ending of “H20.” Laurie Strode chopped Michael’s head off. The end! But is it? Yeah, it is. Oh really? No. No it’s not. Aw hell, let’s squeeze another sequel out of our corn holes! I need a new Porsche!

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Bloody Homecoming (2012) (DVD)

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Yet another iteration of “Slaughter High,” director Brian C. Weed’s revenge horror film attempts to be a sanctimonious message about bullying all the while lulling its audience to sleep with an illogical and goofy film about revenge and the past coming back to haunt some classmates. My only fear is the memory of this movie coming back to haunt my nightmares.

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Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI (1986)

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jasonlivesOddly enough out of the entire series in “Friday the 13th,” Part Six entitled “Jason Lives” is easily my favorite. It’s flawed, the production quality kind of sucks, and there are plot holes, but damn it, it’s fun! You have to love how the deputy drops a bunch of cartons of food without food in them. And Jason being re-animated like Frankenstein is on par with Freddy Krueger being re-animated by the urine of a stray dog. It’s just fun and creepy Jason Voorhees doing what he does best. And he even slays a credit card handling yuppy, to boot. Take that, mid-eighties America!

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