Ilsa and the great Dyanne Thorne are at it once again, this time in the sub-zero wastelands of Siberia. Ilsa is once again untouched and hardly a day old from her time as a World War II concentration camp owner, and grooming harem girls. Now, with LaFleur’s often sloppy direction, she helps run a labor camp in the forests of Siberia teamed with a group of violent soldiers, a cannibal tiger, and plenty of snow. Ilsa is once again the devil in sheep’s clothing, the egomaniacal merciless monster that dispenses of men in her own ways. She bashes their heads in, lets them be eaten alive by her pet tiger, and uses them as toys leaving them in the snow to freeze to death. Unlike “Haremkeeper for the Oil Shieks,” this sequel is a much better entry.
Tag Archives: Suspense
Kaw (2007)
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The film “Kaw” is a remake of “The Birds” before the actual remake of “The Birds” arrives to shit on us from above in theaters. I love monster movies with funny names, don’t you? There’s “SuperCroc,” and there’s “Sssssssss!” and then there’s “Kaw.” The title of this feature just isn’t the problem of Wilson’s film, because that’s just my good old humor. In spite of Wilson’s evident wisdom of pacing and tension, the birds here just don’t frighten me as much as I assumed they would. What’s the point of having Ravens if you’re not going to exploit their penchant for being creepifying? Otherwise, just bring on a humming bird and call it “Kaw.”
Stay (2005)
Can someone clear up why “Stay” was touted as a horror film, or a supernatural thriller? For the life of me, I’m still attempting to figure out why it was touted as a supernatural thriller, or even a supernatural horror film. You figure a film starring many rather esteemed actors would do its best to stray from its genre pigeon hole, but alas, I’m left perplexed at the utterly disappointing results of “Stay.” It’s not horror. When you’re finished with it, you’ll see that it’s clearly a Supernatural drama, and a pretty lackluster one to boot. I remember this film. It’s “Jacob’s Ladder,” no wait, it’s that crime drama with Courtney Cox who went all “indie,” that must be it. No, “Stay” is really just a sappy melodrama touted in a supernatural angle, and that’s a damn shame.
Brick (2005)
Like much of the neo-noir that has graced our screens both in a contemporary, and period setting, “Brick” begins at the end. As we’ve seen in the device exemplified in “Sunset Boulevard,” we begin right at the tail end of the mystery. Where is Brendan’s ex-girlfriend Emily (Emile DeRavin is both unlikable, and heartbreaking)? What I can tell you is that most audiences for this film won’t even realize that Johnson is paying homage to some of the greatest noir films ever made. From outright nods to Humphrey Bogart, and films like “The Maltese Falcon,” there are many elements with the same basic premise. Johnson never fills his audience in, but they’re watching noir set in modern times.
Sidekick (2005)
I’ve been a comic book fan since I was a very small kid. Before I could read they were great to look at, and I’d have someone tell me their names, when I learned to read they were fun to dive into, even if I didn’t always understand the stories. When I became older, they were fun to read because the stories were so damn good depending on what comic you read, and when I became a man, I learned subtext, commentary, and undertones for the better, and I sought out deeper material. Either way, comic book fandom is a hobby that evolves over time, and de Graaf has the right idea of the love for comic books. There have been many an homage to the Superhero genre, but “Sidekick” is a completely different one altogether.
Dracula – Masterpiece Theatre (2007)
It’s a requirement that anyone playing Lucy Westenra should possess a great deal of sexual allure, for the simple fact that it gives logic to Dracula’s hunt on her before going after Mina. And Sophia Myles hands the requirement like a pro. Myles is utterly ravishing in “Dracula” and she’s lusted after, for good reason, throughout much of the film, possessing her usual charm and likable charisma that makes her such a memorable actress. Myles also has a palpable chemistry with Leonidas, who manages to portray the charming innocence with Myles as the blonde siren that eventually gets bitey.
Osama (2003)
Around the time of the attacks of September 11th 2001, America was at its all time high of security, ignorance, idiocy, anger, hatred, sadness, etc. But most importantly, filmmakers were compelled to express their sheer rush of emotions responding to this attack. Some gave us patriotic films, some paid homage to that day, and others preferred to examine more original views. Director Siddiq Barmak instead gives us an inside look at the practices and cruelty of the Taliban, and a society paralyzed under the control of the Taliban.